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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Simcha on November 21, 2001, at 7:39:06
Folks, I put this in Social because it is not exactly specifically about meds. If Dr. Bob wants to move this, it's okee dokee by me.
Here goes.....I'm experiencing a real sense of calm in my life right now. My med mix is Celexa 40mg and Wellbutrin SR 200mg. I'm very greatful for this mix because it has helped me to remain stable over the past three months. I really believe that my pdoc and I have found the best mix for me right now.
OK, this is probably stinkin' thinkin' but.... I'm concerned about the future. I'm trying not to become complacent in my treatment. I have known too many people in my life who live with mental illness who have become stable and then decided that they do not need meds (because after all, they feel fine!) so they go off of them only to relapse worse than ever!
My boyfriend's newest friend is bipolar and has weaned himself off of meds and for now he looks fine. It sort of makes me want to experiment with my dosage and attempt to move myself off of meds.
I need voices of reason right now. I have severe depression on both sides of my family. On my father's side of the family there are many who were downright psychotic and they had to be committed, unfortunately. I have had low grade depression for my entire life. I've been suffering from sexual compulsivity and general OCD for most of my life. I have had at least 4 major depressive episodes in my short 31 year old life.
Given all of that history it should be a no-brainer for me to understand that when things are going this well and I'm stable on meds that I should continue to listen to my pdoc and remain on my meds. Some part of me wants to beleive that I am "cured" somehow. I want to believe that somehow I know better than the pdoc and that I will escape the family genes that predispose me to mental illness. I want to believe that somehow I have escaped.
I want to understand that the escape from the unmanageability of my mental illness has only come through the hard work of therapy and medication. None of my life made any sense before therapy. Even with therapy alone my life was unmanageable. Now with meds and therapy my life is stable and manageable.
It seems that this is common amongst those of us who feel better on meds. Why is it that I believe that things will be OK without the medication when 31 years of evidence has proven otherwise? Can someone answer this?
Does anyone else relate to this?
I think I will put a copy of this over in the regular Babble room because I did talk about meds.
Thanks,
Simcha.
Posted by Marie1 on November 21, 2001, at 9:40:27
In reply to Long Term Medication and Prognosis Concerns, posted by Simcha on November 21, 2001, at 7:39:06
Simcha,
I can relate. Don't you just get fed up with even acknowledging this disease you have? I'd love to give up meds, but every time I think of giving it a go, I remember how I felt during my last major depression. Plus I think of my brother, who leant so much credibility to my depression when the rest of my family didn't want to think anything was wrong. He killed himself, which isn't so terribly surprising when you consider the level of denial surrounding him.
I have a good friend whose diagnosis is bi-polar, who decided to manage his disease without medication (against the advice of his pdoc and family). I was dubious, but hoped he could do it. Unfortunately, this past summer he crashed. Despite an income of over $200,000, he went through all his money and didn't pay one bill. This is just one of his problems. Obviously, he's in serious financial trouble now. So I guess going med-less didn't work for him. Let us know what you decide to do.Marie
> Folks, I put this in Social because it is not exactly specifically about meds. If Dr. Bob wants to move this, it's okee dokee by me.
> Here goes.....
>
> I'm experiencing a real sense of calm in my life right now. My med mix is Celexa 40mg and Wellbutrin SR 200mg. I'm very greatful for this mix because it has helped me to remain stable over the past three months. I really believe that my pdoc and I have found the best mix for me right now.
>
> OK, this is probably stinkin' thinkin' but.... I'm concerned about the future. I'm trying not to become complacent in my treatment. I have known too many people in my life who live with mental illness who have become stable and then decided that they do not need meds (because after all, they feel fine!) so they go off of them only to relapse worse than ever!
>
> My boyfriend's newest friend is bipolar and has weaned himself off of meds and for now he looks fine. It sort of makes me want to experiment with my dosage and attempt to move myself off of meds.
>
> I need voices of reason right now. I have severe depression on both sides of my family. On my father's side of the family there are many who were downright psychotic and they had to be committed, unfortunately. I have had low grade depression for my entire life. I've been suffering from sexual compulsivity and general OCD for most of my life. I have had at least 4 major depressive episodes in my short 31 year old life.
>
> Given all of that history it should be a no-brainer for me to understand that when things are going this well and I'm stable on meds that I should continue to listen to my pdoc and remain on my meds. Some part of me wants to beleive that I am "cured" somehow. I want to believe that somehow I know better than the pdoc and that I will escape the family genes that predispose me to mental illness. I want to believe that somehow I have escaped.
>
> I want to understand that the escape from the unmanageability of my mental illness has only come through the hard work of therapy and medication. None of my life made any sense before therapy. Even with therapy alone my life was unmanageable. Now with meds and therapy my life is stable and manageable.
>
> It seems that this is common amongst those of us who feel better on meds. Why is it that I believe that things will be OK without the medication when 31 years of evidence has proven otherwise? Can someone answer this?
>
> Does anyone else relate to this?
>
> I think I will put a copy of this over in the regular Babble room because I did talk about meds.
>
> Thanks,
> Simcha.
Posted by Willow on November 21, 2001, at 15:26:30
In reply to Re: Long Term Medication and Prognosis Concerns, posted by Marie1 on November 21, 2001, at 9:40:27
Funny you should post this at this particular time. Last night I had the urge to throw all pills out. I don't know if it's being caused by the addition of another medication which is making me a "little" tense. My response has been to make a psych appointment to rant. (Third part input.)
I'll follow this thread with interest.
Whispering Willow
Posted by ChrisK on November 22, 2001, at 5:35:43
In reply to Long Term Medication and Prognosis Concerns, posted by Simcha on November 21, 2001, at 7:39:06
Simcha,
I must admit that I don't have the slightest reflex to give up my meds. They have given me a life back that I haven't known for such a long time. I watched my father take his meds every day for most of his adult life. It was just a given that the meds were part of life that we needed to survive as "normal."
Due to many years of depression and alcoholism (brought on primarily from self medicating) I ended up in the hospital twice in the last five years. Once was due to liver failure and the most recent due to Congestive Heart Failure. I am only 38 and will now probably be on meds for those conditions for the rest of my life. It's just a part of living. Stopping them means that I am taking a big risk of dying. I look at my psych meds the same way.
Some people can get through short term depressions with meds and then go off of them. I am not one of those people. I will need to stay on these meds for the rest of my life if I want that life to be a long one.
IMO, anyone who has had a serious problem with mental illness who wants to just quit taking meds that are working for them is playing with fire. The key is that you have meds that are working for you. Why quit just for the sake of quitting? It's not a weekness to need meds to starighten out your body chemistry.
I am a firm believer in Darwinism and I believe that decades ago most of us on this board right now would have been dead well before our time if it weren't for these meds that we take. There would have been nothing to help stop the suicidal tendencies or the self medication or the risky behaviors.
We have a chance to make a livable life with the help of modern science. Why not take advantage of that? It's what will get me through the rest of my life and I appreciate it.
Please grasp on to that idea and appreciate that you have a way of dealing with your illness that has obviously helped you to lead a more fulfilling life. It's there, accept it and live.
Chris
Posted by Simcha on November 22, 2001, at 9:58:02
In reply to Re: Long Term Medication and Prognosis Concerns, posted by ChrisK on November 22, 2001, at 5:35:43
> Please grasp on to that idea and appreciate that you have a way of dealing with your illness that has obviously helped you to lead a more fulfilling life. It's there, accept it and live.
>
> ChrisThanks Chris! I needed that whole post. Like I said above, I need a voice of reality right now.
I'm realizing that work is a dangerous situation for me lately. I absolutely need meds to deal with those people. I need the job at the moment. I need the moolah. Therefore I cannot make the life change of quitting at the moment.
I do realize that my life makes sense because of meds. I just don't understand the belief in my head that tells me that I am "cured" and that I do not need my meds. Well, I guess they don't call this mental illness for nothing.
;-)
Posted by Mair on November 23, 2001, at 20:03:55
In reply to Long Term Medication and Prognosis Concerns, posted by Simcha on November 21, 2001, at 7:39:06
> Simcha - if you were me (in the past -:) ) you'd take yourself off the med without consulting much with your pdoc, because you didn't think you needed it or, in my case, because you didn't like the side effects or thought it wasn't working. Then you'd feel really good for a few weeks maybe until the inevitable slide started happening. Then you'd really be cooked because you'd have to start that whole miserable process all over again of adapting to the right amount of the right drug, and you'd feel really depressed because there had been this reality check telling you that you really did need these drugs probably for the rest of your life (distressing in and of itself) AND you'd feel pretty foolish and even simply self destructive for having put yourself through that to begin with when you could've just left well enough alone and stayed on the drugs. When I think of all of these things, I can and do resist the impulse to bag the drugs.
Mair
Posted by Simcha on November 24, 2001, at 11:33:06
In reply to Re: Long Term Medication and Prognosis Concerns » Simcha, posted by Mair on November 23, 2001, at 20:03:55
Mair,
Thanks for the story. I'm watching that bipolar friend I was talking about in my first post on this subject relapse into a massive manic state. I guess the plunge into depression for him won't be too far behind.
I think I'll stay on the meds. My life is good today and I do enjoy the stability. Now I just need to find things to do with all of the time and energy I have now. Stability means that I can actually progress in life! That's an interesting thought.
Simcha.
> > Simcha - if you were me (in the past -:) ) you'd take yourself off the med without consulting much with your pdoc, because you didn't think you needed it or, in my case, because you didn't like the side effects or thought it wasn't working. Then you'd feel really good for a few weeks maybe until the inevitable slide started happening. Then you'd really be cooked because you'd have to start that whole miserable process all over again of adapting to the right amount of the right drug, and you'd feel really depressed because there had been this reality check telling you that you really did need these drugs probably for the rest of your life (distressing in and of itself) AND you'd feel pretty foolish and even simply self destructive for having put yourself through that to begin with when you could've just left well enough alone and stayed on the drugs. When I think of all of these things, I can and do resist the impulse to bag the drugs.
>
> Mair
This is the end of the thread.
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