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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Angel Girl on April 23, 2002, at 20:21:07
Feeling empty. What does that mean???? That term confuses me. I hear it so often in ref to depression. To me, it means feeling 'nothing'. I never feel 'nothing'. My problem is I feel 'too much'. Too much pain, too much hurt, too much emotions. I'm still looking for the on/off switch. I don't think I came with one. :( I don't understand this concept of feeling empty. Can somebody please enlighten me???
Angel Girl
Posted by Alii on April 23, 2002, at 21:16:32
In reply to Feeling Empty, posted by Angel Girl on April 23, 2002, at 20:21:07
AG--
I don't know if I can explain in a way that makes sense but here goes:
for me feeling empty means not being able to connect to feelings I once had.
example--when I am deeply depressed (almost crisis mode) I can sometimes muster the strength and energy to go through some of the motions of life i.e. grocery shopping, taking the dog to the beach for her exercise (she's a youngun), bank, post office, etc. but my heart isn't in any of it. I feel hollow. Truly hollow as in echoing inside, cavernous, dark and large. I know I feel empty when pictures, phone calls, and visits from my goddaughter don't reach me. I love this child so much, and she is fast becoming a difficult to love little bossy gal, and when I become aware that even her presence isn't getting through to my heart that I am once again on the downward.
Feeling empty isn't the same for everyone. I would guess that some experience the state (of feeling empty) all the time as opposed to my feeling it when I am on the decline.
I DO feel dulled by my medication however which is different from the empty. The dulled feelings are:
duh where did my brain go?
total vocabulary decrease
word recall difficulty
no real lows but no real joy either
feeling artificially 'lifted' and not authentically non-depressed.I did have a glimpse of that back in February. Unusually warm spell hit and I kicked tokhes on the yard; regraded the back half of the garden, mind you this was with hand tools, and was suddenly aware that I was thinking about my future and how to go about making that happen. I was aware of NOT having the negative thought processes and overwhelming self doubt that usually accompanies my thoughts of future plans. I felt good and my head was clear. My thoughts clear, not foggy. And I felt ALIVE.
But that was then....
--Alii
Posted by Cecilia on April 23, 2002, at 22:41:55
In reply to Feeling Empty, posted by Angel Girl on April 23, 2002, at 20:21:07
For me, feeling empty is like everything about me is a facade, that there`s no one there beneath the mask. When I was in therapy it was feeling like, when I walked out the door, I no longer existed, that if I were to drop dead after handing my therapist her check she wouldn`t even see me because once the session was over I was invisible. Cecilia
Posted by fiona on April 24, 2002, at 20:07:43
In reply to Re: Feeling Empty, posted by Cecilia on April 23, 2002, at 22:41:55
feeling "empty" for me is feeling disconected from the rest of the world, that I am worthless, insignificant and invisible. I can see the world going about its business, but I don't belong to it. My heart is empty, barren of emotion, unloving and unlovable.
Sometimes when I feel like this it seems worse than the "I want to throw myself off a bridge" depression, because I am almost aware of the life I am missing, but I still can't take part in it and enjoy it. But then the apathy takes over and I cease to care.
It's a lonely place to be.
This is the end of the thread.
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