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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by ELA on May 3, 2002, at 5:09:30
Hey guys,
I'm 21 on Monday (6th May) and I'm feeling a bit shit about it really. I mean, I love birthdays and everything, get really excited in manner of small child but as the years go on, and particularly with what's been happening lately, some of the excitement is overtaken by depression and pondering.
What exactly have I managed to do in 21 long years? F**k things up a fair bit for a start! Just feeling very old all of a sudden. I spent most of my younger life wishing that I was older - can't wait to be 13, can't wait to be 16, can't wait to be 18 - thinking that life would suddenly become all magical and free and wonderful and now I just want to be little again sometimes!
Hope everyone is ok, thought what has been said about Sar lately was somewhat inappropriate so I hope that those of u who knew her are alright.
Take care.
Emma.x
Posted by CtrlAlt n Del on May 3, 2002, at 6:03:35
In reply to serious birthday blues, posted by ELA on May 3, 2002, at 5:09:30
Emma
21 is normal age to have these healthy realisations , questioning things about the path of life you're on ain't right..I was about 28 till things started improving..now 34 (only then realised I was ill).
That magical childlike feeling remains obviously not apparent perpetually , forget the number 21+.. do something bit crazy on your birthday re-live childhood a little..kiddie paraphernalia buy loads of balloons or whatever...even if you spend it alone.
Write a BIG sign 'I'm having a depressive birthday so what!'- followed by big smiley face.Old? Ha!.....enjoy : )
Posted by beardedlady on May 3, 2002, at 6:38:44
In reply to Re: serious birthday blues » ELA, posted by CtrlAlt n Del on May 3, 2002, at 6:03:35
Here's the song we sing here:
Hippo Birdie Two Ewes
Hippo Birdie Two Ewes
Hippo Birdie Deer ELA (phant)
Hippo Birdie Two Ewes.Dr. Eamer's right; get yourself some kiddie goods. A pogo stick is fun. And go outside and hop awhile. Got in-line or roller skates? Let me tell you what: I have always been a low-grade depressed person but just thought it was normal to not ever be really happy about anything for more than two minutes. I got some in-line skates in about 1988 or 1990, and that "wheeeeee" feeling lasted a long time! Skating is so freeing. I used to skate a lot more before I had a child (every morning; it was my exercise), but it is always such a wonderful feeling. Besides getting the exercise to boost your endorphins, you're doing something so fun you don't notice you're exercising.
Anyway, my 21st birthday was pretty uneventful. My 29th birthday was my worst, but my early thirties rocked. Something to look forward to, ELA.
Don't think about what you haven't accomplished. (You're too young to have done much of anything!) Think about the things you'd like to do.
What Dreamer said about the sign is great. I was having an especially bad time on my 34th birthday because I was expecting this terrific day. It was gorgeous outside, and I was up early and wanted to go to the Renaissance Festival. My husband didn't want to go and had never been, but I told him how much fun it was, and he agreed to do it for me for my birthday. It's about a half hour away, but when we got to the exit, there was a back up. It took us almost forty minutes to get from the exit to the place (it's two miles), and when we got there, it wasn't even possible to park, so we turned around and went home. I was a weepy, sobbing, nasty, angry mess.
But my sister got me a cake that said, "Happy F*****g Birthday" on it, and it really cheered me up. (She'd asked the cake lady behind the counter at the grocery store to write it, but the lady said she didn't feel comfortable with it, so she offered the tools to my sister, and my sis went behind the counter to do it!) Anyway, it was a funny surprise. So my best girlfriend made strange concoctions of frozen mudslides mixed with Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia, and the three of us and my husband sat outside getting drunk in the sun, and then we took naps.
Now I'm rambling. But I do hope you have a better birthday than I did that year. I can hardly imagine a worse one!
beardy : )>
Posted by ELA on May 3, 2002, at 7:22:20
In reply to serious birthday blues, posted by ELA on May 3, 2002, at 5:09:30
Thanx for that guys,
Am excited really, especially as I had a load of cards through the post this morning which I'm not allowed to open til Monday!
When I think about what's happened over the last 6 months or so I'm just relieved to be able to celebrate my 21st. It's a bit of a landmark really isn't it?!
Posted by wendy b. on May 3, 2002, at 9:27:01
In reply to serious birthday blues, posted by ELA on May 3, 2002, at 5:09:30
Emma,
Keep calm, keep cool (Malcolm X).
I am birthday blues-ing too, and Monday the 6th is my birthday as well!! I kid you not. Guess how old?? 42! My daughter is 10! how did that happen & where did all the time go by, I ask myself. Like you, I think, well - most of that time has been pretty f'ing miserable, especially these last 10 yrs (my poor kid!). But there have been some rays of sunshine, and more than a few good moments.I can tell from your post you're from the fair isles of Britain (I married a Brit), which region? I spent some time in Loughborough ("Luff-bruh"), many moons ago.
Are you up for a drink Monday? I'll write to you with glass in hand, and send you good wishes, if you'll promise to write back! Birthday partners!
see you then, and good luck chasing the blues away,
Wendy
ps: Don't know if you're a George Cloony fan, but he also shares our birthday!
> Hey guys,
>
> I'm 21 on Monday (6th May) and I'm feeling a bit shit about it really. I mean, I love birthdays and everything, get really excited in manner of small child but as the years go on, and particularly with what's been happening lately, some of the excitement is overtaken by depression and pondering.
>
> What exactly have I managed to do in 21 long years? F**k things up a fair bit for a start! Just feeling very old all of a sudden. I spent most of my younger life wishing that I was older - can't wait to be 13, can't wait to be 16, can't wait to be 18 - thinking that life would suddenly become all magical and free and wonderful and now I just want to be little again sometimes!
>
> Hope everyone is ok, thought what has been said about Sar lately was somewhat inappropriate so I hope that those of u who knew her are alright.
>
> Take care.
> Emma.x
Posted by ELA on May 4, 2002, at 11:33:08
In reply to Re: serious birthday blues » ELA, posted by wendy b. on May 3, 2002, at 9:27:01
Hey Wendy,
What a cool birthday we have huh?! I know that George Clooney share it with us as well, that's pretty damn good in my book!
I hope u have a nice day as well. I'm working 12-5 but have BIG plans for the evening involving lots of pubs and lots of booze no doubt!
I am from Britain, live in a place called St Albans which is about 25 miles or so north of London. Where is ur husband from?
As I said, hope u have a lovely day, too.
Emma.x
Posted by Automated Lady on May 5, 2002, at 8:51:34
In reply to serious birthday blues, posted by ELA on May 3, 2002, at 5:09:30
Hey babe... let me tell you... 21 IS NOT OLD!!! I was soooo upset on my 21st birthday cos I thought it was All Over (I felt like that on my 18th too, btw). I'm 24 now, and I look at 21 year olds and think "omigod, they're sooo young, they've got sooo much time to do ANYTHINg they want". And I feel old. Again. At 26 I'll probably look at 24 year olds and think the same thing. It's being depressed that makes you feel like that - it's not a reality. I just wanted to say this cos I spent the years from 21-23 so convinced it was all finished and because I hadn't achieved anything so far I never would, that I wasted them. It was only at 23 that I woke up and saw the years passing by and suddenly started to try and get out and do things... You are wonderfully, gloriously young! Have a great birthday! AL x
Posted by Automated Lady on May 5, 2002, at 8:54:07
In reply to serious birthday blues, posted by ELA on May 3, 2002, at 5:09:30
Posted by wendy b. on May 6, 2002, at 22:58:56
In reply to drinks up! » wendy b., posted by ELA on May 4, 2002, at 11:33:08
Hi Emma,
Still a few moments to go (at least here) before the birthday draws to a close. As promised, I drank a little wine this evening, and am thinking about you across the ocean, and hope your day was as wonderful as could be -- I have hit age 42, and loving Willow's and Beardy's thoughts on aging in the thread below, just the thing to read tonight... The best revenge, if that's what it can be called, is that I have a new lover who is 10 years younger than I am, and it feels sooooo fine! I still have what it takes, baby!
many fond wishes and a kiss to you,
Wendy
May 6, 1960
> Hey Wendy,
>
> What a cool birthday we have huh?! I know that George Clooney share it with us as well, that's pretty damn good in my book!
>
> I hope u have a nice day as well. I'm working 12-5 but have BIG plans for the evening involving lots of pubs and lots of booze no doubt!
>
> I am from Britain, live in a place called St Albans which is about 25 miles or so north of London. Where is ur husband from?
>
> As I said, hope u have a lovely day, too.
>
> Emma.x
Posted by Willow on May 7, 2002, at 7:20:31
In reply to Re: drinks up!, posted by wendy b. on May 6, 2002, at 22:58:56
Now you are making me green with envy! How did you manage a younger lover, when I can't even catch one who is older? Hints welcome ...
Whispering Willow
Posted by Zo on May 7, 2002, at 21:16:16
In reply to Re: drinks up!, posted by wendy b. on May 6, 2002, at 22:58:56
Posted by wendy b. on May 7, 2002, at 21:32:55
In reply to Skirts up! » wendy b., posted by Willow on May 7, 2002, at 7:20:31
> Now you are making me green with envy! How did you manage a younger lover, when I can't even catch one who is older? Hints welcome ...
>
> Whispering Willow
Dear WW, you rude girl, you,Hey, I don't wanna brag, but.... --
Oh, what the hell. I met this guy through my being a poor, single mom. I have a second job on alternate weekends at a winery (I live in the wonderful Finger Lakes Region of NY), alternate because this is when my daughter is with her father... and I found an employer who could accommodate my schedule. So I am working there one rainy Sunday afternoon, alone, when in walks this man with whom I hit it off, right away, talking together and pouring wine for him (drinking a little myself, although we're not supposed to drink with customers). We got along like we'd known each other forever... I had no idea he was younger than me by that many years - he's already starting to lose hair, on top of his head, anyway! - so I made an assumption that he was my age or about my age, silly. Asked him out for coffee, he accepted, we've been out several times since, the heat index is 'way up there...I know you live in Ontario, they have wineries... why don't you try it???
Seriously, another reason I took this job, as opposed to some other desk-type ones, was that I thought maybe I'd meet someone fun and interesting while there. And that's what happened, didn't even take all that long. Exactly one year ago, you may recall, I was suicidally depressed after being dumped by my then-boyfriend... One of the less favorable aspects of being a poor, alone, single mom and woman, you ain't got backup! i.e., you can get dumped at a moment's notice... Anyway, it's been a year since I've been with a man, and I'm proud to say I didn't forget how to do the important stuff...
The weird thing is (we call it: "When Worlds Collide"), he almost didn't stop at the winery that day, drove past it, realized he wanted to come in to try our red wines, so he doubled back and walked into my little life right there... It was also one of my alternate weekends, i.e., if I had been working there the weekend before or the weekend after, we might not have met. So kinda bizarre that way...
It's still early days, the shrink says go slow, but after a while, it seems a little artificial to NOT make love, if you know what I mean, holding back because your therapist says you shouldn't do anything impulsive can only go so far, I was a child of the '70s, etc., etc.
I did share with him during the first week that I am bipolar, did not phase him one little bit. I figure if someone can't handle it, I need to know right away, cuz who needs the aggravation? He admires me (! wow! how amazing is THAT?) and finds it great that I have brought it under control thru meds and therapy. Did explain to him that it can come creeping back with a vengeance, even when people have been in remission, as I seem to have been lately... He feels confident that it's not an issue (unrealistic?), at least he won't ever be able to say he didn't know about it going in.
Anyway, I could go on, boringly, for many pages... I am flattered you asked, Wonderous Willow... I used to catch older ones, but that was when I was 17... Slowly I worked down to someone my age (guy who dumped me), now this... Demographically speaking, this is good, no?
love,
your Feelin'Good Girl,
Wendy
Posted by wendy b. on May 7, 2002, at 21:38:03
In reply to Re: well make me sick. does he have a friend? (nm) » wendy b., posted by Zo on May 7, 2002, at 21:16:16
Funny, my girlfriend who I teach with asked me the same thing yesterday...!
Where do you live, Zo? Any wineries there?
nice to read you,
wish me luck,Wendy
This is the end of the thread.
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