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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by JK0081 on May 23, 2002, at 13:49:58
Hi
I wasn't going to tell the full truth about my situation when I posted here
because to be honest I am embarassed, but what the hell, here goes.I'm a 21 year old guy, I live with a friend (a female friend) who is the
only friend that I have who I see on a daily basis. (I have three other
friends, that's all, and I only see them once a week, once a week, and once
every two months respectively - they live in different towns). I have deeper
feelings for the person I live with than she realises. My self esteem is at
an all time low...I have acne (mild to moderate) which I am treating at the
moment, but it really gets me down. People don't make dun of it or anything,
quite the opposite infact, and it seems that I can get on with new people
very easily. I wonder how I got into this situation of not having any real
friends...I don't go out that much either.I used to be such a positive person and come from such a positive family,
and I know that I will always have support from Kerry (the girl I live
with). BUT very often I feel deserted, not wanted. Example: last night she
was at a friends house and I sent her a message saying "Going to be out all
day 2moro, do you want me to leave the key [so she could get in]". She sent
one back just saying "NO". This is such a petty thing to get down about but
gives an example of how easily I can become depressed. I was supposed to be
going out today but unplugged all the phones and stayed in bed until 2pm. I
still havent been out and am just going to watch TV and then go to bed
later. I wonder though, what is going to be different about tomorrow?
Nothing. I will do the same thing, apart from Kerry will be here - it makes
me happy when she is here, but I get so depressed when she is doing things
with others.There's so much that gets me down that I can't explain it all on here - this
post is already too long I know but I can't help it! Me and Kerry used to do
things together before we moved into the house, but now we don't. She does
her own thing and I do nothing. I feel like there is no point going
on...does aybody have any suggestions what I should do?I have considered telling everything to my Mum but can't bring myself to do it....
Thanks
K
Posted by kiddo on May 23, 2002, at 15:06:19
In reply to What should I do?!, posted by JK0081 on May 23, 2002, at 13:49:58
Hi JK,
Nice to meet you, and glad you stopped in. Thank you for being honest, I know it's difficult to do, there's no need to be embarrassed for speaking honestly.
I wanted to let you know that I saw your post and will respond when I have time to put some thought into my answers..I hope that's alright.
Kiddo
Posted by kid47 on May 23, 2002, at 15:47:48
In reply to What should I do?!, posted by JK0081 on May 23, 2002, at 13:49:58
Hey JK. Sorry to hear of your difficulties. Couple a questions. Are you by any chance taking a drug called Acutane for your acne? Do you have any history of depression or mood disorders inyour family. How long have you felt "down"? There are all sorts of great people here & on the other PB boards who can offer terrific insight & advice. Unfortunately I'm not one of them. =0)
Different moods manifest themselves in just about everbody. A situation can dictate a certain mood. Changing harmones in our body as we age can effect our moods. When these moods become exagerated & long term they might be indicitive of depression or a mood disorder. This is an illness which can be treated with medicine & therapy. Sometimes these moods correct themselves. You might want to talk to your doc about how you are feeling (if you are comfortable doing that & trust her/him) With your docs help you should be able to determine if some type of intervention is necessary or if this is sometning that will resolve itself. Meanwhile keep posting here. You'll find alot of good "listeners" & folks who can relate to your situation. Take carekid
Posted by JK0081 on May 23, 2002, at 16:02:04
In reply to Re: What should I do?! » JK0081, posted by kiddo on May 23, 2002, at 15:06:19
I'll give you all some more facts if you dont mind...
We happened to move in together because we were great friends, and happened
to need a house at the same time. Her parents own the house and we both pay
rent to them.She is interested in somebody else, but she hasn't had a boyfriend for 6
months (she is very independent and doens't like to be tied down at all).We chat about what we want from life (but not all that often). Just on
Sunday we were sat up in her room (a bit worse for wear from alcohol I must
add ;-) talking about what we want. I'm sure she said she "loved me to bits"
as a friend but I don't know if I imagined that 'cos I cant remember much
from the night! You see we are such good friends that we both know what each
other are thinking all the time and we know each other inside out.I don't know that she isn't interested in me, but I am 99% sure, although I do sometimes think what if I did tell
her, maybe she would reciprocate it and it would be fantastic...then I wake
up into reality. I think I would rather be friends with her anyway, but
close friends forever ie. I want to be around her all the time for the rest
of my life.I think that something about our relationship is getting me
down...I just can't put my finger on EXACTLY what it is. If I could I think
I would feel so much better.
Posted by KB on May 25, 2002, at 11:17:55
In reply to Re: What should I do?!, posted by JK0081 on May 23, 2002, at 16:02:04
I don't think you have anything to be embarassed about - your situation is not that unusual, believe it or not.
I lived with a good friend once and I also felt down when he was frequently off doing things without me - esp. since we were living in his home city where I didn't know much of anyone. I found that it helped to schedule activities with him just like I did when we weren't living together.
As far as only having a few friends, it can be hard to be social when you're feeling depressed, and if you're spending a lot of time in bed and/or TV-watching, you're not going to meet anyone new. My only suggestion for that is find some kind of activity that you enjoy where you'll meet other people - if you like animals, volunteer at a shelter where you'll meet other animal people, that kind of thing . . .
Good luck.
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