Shown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by fiona on August 17, 2002, at 8:55:22
Ooooooooooohhh Deeeeeeeaaaarrr!!!
Last night I fell off the wagon BIG STYLE. The worrying thing is, that instead of feeling guilty about it, I feel that it was much needed. I enjoyed every minute of it. Only problem now is I have a VERY sore head and a bad case of the shakes. Alcohol and I don't like each other in the morning :(
I don't suppose my therapist will be so proud of me now.
Posted by Phil on August 17, 2002, at 11:40:05
In reply to Jumping off the wagon, posted by fiona on August 17, 2002, at 8:55:22
How do you feel about it?
Posted by fiona on August 17, 2002, at 14:36:05
In reply to Re: Jumping off the wagon, posted by Phil on August 17, 2002, at 11:40:05
Right now I feel pretty sick with a throbbing head. I know that I shouldn't have done it, but I sooo needed to let my hair down. I think I'm just at a stage where I'm sick of taking my meds at the proper times, not drinking or taking drugs, and generally being the most boring person on the planet because I have forgotten how to have a good time. It wouldn't be so bad, but I don't feel that all my hard work (and it was VERY hard) was getting me anywhere. I am still ill, still off work, still crazy!
I just wanted to feel. To relax. To have fun. I know I don't need to be drunk to have a good time, but I just thought "stuff it, I am going to get absolutely plastered!" Just once. The problem now is that I would quite like to do it again. Oh dear :(
Posted by Phil on August 17, 2002, at 14:48:22
In reply to Re: Jumping off the wagon » Phil, posted by fiona on August 17, 2002, at 14:36:05
I don't blame you. I told a friend that I'd like to be off meds and pull a few good drinking binges. Just get wasted. Maybe drop some acid while I was at it.
After being on meds for 20 years...well, you know.
Posted by .tabitha. on August 17, 2002, at 15:14:09
In reply to Jumping off the wagon, posted by fiona on August 17, 2002, at 8:55:22
Oh, dear. Sounds a little familiar. At least you enjoyed it while it lasted. Now the unfortunate consequences. I'm always asking my therapist "remind me again why I shouldn't drink?" because I genuinely forget. But if I actually do fall off the wagon, I remember. Hangover, more depression, self-esteem suffers, cravings get reactivated :(
Posted by shar on August 18, 2002, at 12:31:52
In reply to Re: Jumping off the wagon » fiona, posted by .tabitha. on August 17, 2002, at 15:14:09
I was wondering recently, because of the failure of my meds to make much of a change, if it wouldn't be just as good to go back to drinking as a way of coping and self-medicating.
Plus, I get really uninhibited and have FUN, a rare event these days.
Plus, it is a LOT cheaper than meds.
So, I understand the desire to do it and to want to do it again. The reason I stay sober is mainly that I can get into dangerous territory if my depression is too strong, and one of the inhibitions it relaxes is the one against suicide. I guess that's about the only reason nowadays, seems like I used to have a lot more.
I used to believe that my life while drinking was out of control, but after 14 or so years of being sober, I realize control is an illusion anyway.
Shar
This is the end of the thread.
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