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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by BeardedLady on November 17, 2002, at 14:26:11
Since my dog died, but even since before, I cry all the time. I can't get motivated to do anything. I'm afraid my sleep will never come back to me.
Right now, I take a mg. of ativan at bed time, but I used to never need help falling asleep. Now I'm afraid NOT to take it. Then I still wake up at two. Sometimes I take 1 mg. of ativan, but last night I took one and felt jumpy so I took the other 1 (half of the prescribed 2).
I slept from 10:30 until 8:15. I sleep long and hard on ativan. Not that I'm complaining about too much sleep, but I'm not cheerful at all. I can't find a joke to laugh about or anything to smile about.
Let's see: I've given up that crazy job, I'm almost at the end of the semester, I have some work that I can do easily and that pays well, I've got a bitchin' new wardrobe and can almost wear a size 6, I'm teaching a grad class next semester, I have a mosaic project in prep, I have a children's book manuscript out to six publishers, I had a great dinner with friends last night, I still can have orgasms (even with a benzo), and my sister's feeding us steak tonight so we don't have to cook.
But my beloved dog is dead, and I'm taking a strange new med I shouldn't need, and the house is a wreck, and I have 30 papers to grade, and all I do is sit and feel sorry for myself.
Yes, it's time to snap out of it.
No response to this post is necessary. I'm trying to kick myself in the ass. Thanks to all who posted before on those two lengthy threads. I wish to be myself again.
beardy
Posted by Robin David John on November 17, 2002, at 17:58:44
In reply to sad or depressed? no need to respond., posted by BeardedLady on November 17, 2002, at 14:26:11
> Since my dog died, but even since before, I cry all the time. I can't get motivated to do anything. I'm afraid my sleep will never come back to me.
>
> Right now, I take a mg. of ativan at bed time, but I used to never need help falling asleep. Now I'm afraid NOT to take it. Then I still wake up at two. Sometimes I take 1 mg. of ativan, but last night I took one and felt jumpy so I took the other 1 (half of the prescribed 2).
>
> I slept from 10:30 until 8:15. I sleep long and hard on ativan. Not that I'm complaining about too much sleep, but I'm not cheerful at all. I can't find a joke to laugh about or anything to smile about.
>
> Let's see: I've given up that crazy job, I'm almost at the end of the semester, I have some work that I can do easily and that pays well, I've got a bitchin' new wardrobe and can almost wear a size 6, I'm teaching a grad class next semester, I have a mosaic project in prep, I have a children's book manuscript out to six publishers, I had a great dinner with friends last night, I still can have orgasms (even with a benzo), and my sister's feeding us steak tonight so we don't have to cook.
>
> But my beloved dog is dead, and I'm taking a strange new med I shouldn't need, and the house is a wreck, and I have 30 papers to grade, and all I do is sit and feel sorry for myself.
>
> Yes, it's time to snap out of it.
>
> No response to this post is necessary. I'm trying to kick myself in the ass. Thanks to all who posted before on those two lengthy threads. I wish to be myself again.
>
> beardyI know things seem really down in some areas of your life little sis ..But it seems to me that the good outweigh the negetive ..things could be worse you could be married to me >>>LOL
Posted by bookgurl99 on November 17, 2002, at 23:07:25
In reply to sad or depressed? no need to respond., posted by BeardedLady on November 17, 2002, at 14:26:11
Bearded,
what's up? what's this weird new med you're on?
i've been feeling kinda blah and unmotivated lately too. i attribute this feeling to the winter, and that my thyroid is slowin' down. A positive I try to think about with winter is that people who were happy in that time must have died off in nature -- can you just imagine it?: '"wow! this dark and cold is beautiful! let's explore it! hmm... hmm... hm... whoah!" (whooshing sound of neanderthal guy slipping over edge of mountain to rocky death)(CRASH!)'
Have you had a real physical lately? Could somethin' physical be causing all this?
Something small that's helped me is getting a dawn simulator; it helps me wake up in the morning.
Hope you're feeling better soon,
miss "i've-gained-10 pounds this month,"bookgurl99
Posted by bluedog on November 18, 2002, at 0:56:32
In reply to sad or depressed? no need to respond., posted by BeardedLady on November 17, 2002, at 14:26:11
> No response to this post is necessary. I'm trying to kick myself in the ass. Thanks to all who posted before on those two lengthy threads. I wish to be myself again.
>
> beardy
Do you really think you can stop us from lending you some support....I don't think so!!!!!! [ :) ]Beardy, let me say that I don't think that you are feeling sorry for yourself.
I think what you ARE doing is underestimating the degree of grief that you are suffering from the death of your beloved furry friend. Don't let anyone tell you that it was "only a dog". I know society expects you to shrug off the death of your pet and a lot of people won't understand, but I want you to know that there are just as many people that do understand and I am one of them.
I can say that having gone through the death of our beautiful burmese/russian blue cat last month that, although the sadness of missing your pooch is extremely intense (and will remain so for a while), you WILL get to a point where you will feel a little bit normal again.
The best thing you can do is not to beat youself up about how you feel and absolutely REFUSE to feel guilty about allowing yourself to grieve. It's your RIGHT to be able to grieve and bugger anyone who tries to tell you otherwise.
Posted by Roman on November 18, 2002, at 1:12:39
In reply to sad or depressed? no need to respond., posted by BeardedLady on November 17, 2002, at 14:26:11
Hi BL,
I must say your "Lets see:" paragraph has a great vibe to it.
I seem to be bobbing somewhat in mood, but nothing as bad as last week's dip--not a fun thing that was.
Just got e-mail from a friend informing me of her beloved dog's passing as well. I'm sorry for what happened to your canine friend, losing beastly buddies hurts like hell. I've avoided having pets since my best friend died 20 years ago--would like a dog though hard to keep in a small abode.
Wishing you the best,
-Roman
Posted by tina on November 18, 2002, at 18:27:48
In reply to sad or depressed? no need to respond., posted by BeardedLady on November 17, 2002, at 14:26:11
....taken from a story written by Mary J. Worden
As I walked past the kitchen bulletin board I glanced at our family picture. I was surprised by the sudden intense pain the almost doubling over kind from those first days of grief, after my husband Jim's death. Somehow there are not enough words to describe the great varieties of pain.Sometimes the evil behind death peers through, and it seems such a horror. It makes me wish I were a screamer.
One big component of the pain is fear- a fear that this experience of pain may not be momentary but might settle down on me as a permanent condition, an incurable disease, an overwhelming and unmoving cloud cover. This time it's got me and it may never let me go. BUT I know that I need to keep reminding myself in the midst of the pain, that I can acknowledge it and give in to it because it ISN'T a life sentence.
Weeping may remain for a night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.
Posted by BeardedLady on November 19, 2002, at 7:04:17
In reply to Re: sad or depressed? no need to respond., posted by tina on November 18, 2002, at 18:27:48
Will someone let me know when the fun is supposed to begin? All my dreams are of puppies and Buddha.
This morning when we woke up, all the candles at his shrine were still lit.
beardy
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