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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by jay on March 8, 2003, at 10:09:00
Misplaced aggression....Projection...whatever it is called, it is one, no THE thing I hate the most. From my teen years on, especially in the morning, I would be the most miserable, very nasty SOB. I never ever did anything physical, but I was/am snappy, spiteful, aggressive, and as I get older, I realize how HORRIBLE this action is especially to the people I love. Life is TOO damn short, yet it seems this very *physical* feeling makes me loose my cool, and it hurts OTHERS, as well as myself.I honestly think, and this is FINALLY after decades of living with this garbage, that making myself better, healing the inner-wounds, is what will be best for my loved ones. I used to think suicide was the answer to this (and no, I am not condemning folks who think it), but even though it enters my mind it is much more a distant thing now. Being here, even if I am a bit half-baked and no matter what they think, say, or call me, and showing my true eccentricities, my very strong liberal unconditional compassion for every living thing, is the absolute best thing I can do, and that is *the* RIGHT thing to do. I've lost almost everything in the past...a child and girlfriend to death...but life is a power that *remains*..You can NEVER break that chain. I have always believed this, and the spirit (not as in 'ghost', but in personality) lives on through every single person we touch in our lives. I guess I am truly getting closer to being that "complete" person I want to be, but I have still a long journey ahead. I've got beautiful parents..beautiful Niece and Nephews...and even wonderful Brother and Sister. Either through social work, or teaching, or something like that, I will do everything in my power to bring PEACE to this world. To many, many, MANY people hate each other, and hate themselves. Too many wars...too many lost generations...too much pain...we have the minds and the spirits.
Anyhow, thanx for listening to my daily rant. Comments welcome! :-) Hehehe.
Peace,
Jay
Posted by coral on March 8, 2003, at 11:14:34
In reply to Being mean to the ones we love..., posted by jay on March 8, 2003, at 10:09:00
Posted by paxvox on March 8, 2003, at 20:43:33
In reply to Being mean to the ones we love..., posted by jay on March 8, 2003, at 10:09:00
And why do you think that is, Jay? Misplaced, misdirected aggression......God how I know about that! My spin on the subject is that you strike out at those who a) love you, and will take it or b) happen to be convieniently present.
Being the receipient of misdirected anger-hatred-horror (fill in the blank), I can tell ya it takes quite a bit of patience. If you have read any of my old posts (I have only just recently began re-posting here)you may know my "story", if not let me know, and I'll give you the 5 cent version.
My question of you; do you feel GUILT over your actions when you realize you are treating someone like sh*t? Does this compound your depression or whatever ails you? Do you find that it is a self-feeding cycle that seems unbreakable?
PAX
Posted by jay on March 8, 2003, at 23:41:34
In reply to Re: Being mean to the ones we love..., posted by paxvox on March 8, 2003, at 20:43:33
> And why do you think that is, Jay? Misplaced, misdirected aggression......God how I know about that! My spin on the subject is that you strike out at those who a) love you, and will take it or b) happen to be convieniently present.
>
> Being the receipient of misdirected anger-hatred-horror (fill in the blank), I can tell ya it takes quite a bit of patience. If you have read any of my old posts (I have only just recently began re-posting here)you may know my "story", if not let me know, and I'll give you the 5 cent version.
>
> My question of you; do you feel GUILT over your actions when you realize you are treating someone like sh*t? Does this compound your depression or whatever ails you? Do you find that it is a self-feeding cycle that seems unbreakable?
>
> PAXWell, I actually asked because I am a very passive person but like most humans, I get that once in awhile 'bitchy' attitude. (Thankfully it's never been physical.) Medications have often worsened it (mostly the stimulating ones), and I have been pretty frightened at what chemicals can do to the mind and body.(Again, though, I have also been *helped* by many of these.) But, I have been *more* frightened at what society can do to people, and especially how poverty can make the worst of a person. I've been fortunate to have a very graceful and mostly functional life, in particular with regards to being free from abuse. That also made me the person I am, and like I said besides the odd male-PMS stint, I deplore acts of aggression of any kind. I have the ultimate male role-model of a father who taught me that men can and should be gentle, loving souls, and I think that is where much of my depression comes from, is that this world doesn't value that in men. It has also promoted that quality in women, especially in passive-aggressive attitudes. If you are a guy who doesn't act/look like the tough Hollywood glamour boy, then there must be something wrong with you. If you aren't a woman who is all perfectly "prim" and "made-up", then again there must be something wrong with you.
And ya, if I say something the wrong way to someone, I feel quite horrid. Usually because that is a reflection of my inner-state. But when I feel good about myself, I am very open to dishing out the empathy and love. It is odd, because even though I have suffered with depression and anxiety for a long time, I've managed to even drag-out, to "act" caring for the most part, even often in my darkest of times. I think that has been one of the greatest lessons of my "healing". So, no, I certainly don't think it is an "unbreakable" cycle.
Jay
Posted by jay on March 9, 2003, at 8:34:39
In reply to Re: Jay -- Great post (nm), posted by coral on March 8, 2003, at 11:14:34
This is the end of the thread.
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