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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by agencypanic on March 29, 2003, at 13:01:41
I need some techniques to help me put an end to the self-torture I inflict upon myself. This
torture can take the form of recriminations over things done 20 minutes or 20 years ago and which I just can't
seem to let go. I am plagued by paranoia as it is, but this endless self-deprecation is just making matters worse.
Does anyone have any suggestions/techniques on how I can get beyond such behavior? I won't be seeing a psychiatrist for
another two weeks and don't know if I can last that long. I'm taking 4mg of risperdal/day and 20mg of lexapro/day, plus .5mg of lorazepam twice daily or as needed.
I'm at a loss as to how to make certain thought patterns stop and wake up in dread each morning and spend pretty much all my waking hours consumed by these thoughts of
failure and regret and a feeling of angst. Maybe this is too vague, but I'm hoping someone can suggest something.
Posted by justyourlaugh on March 29, 2003, at 18:34:45
In reply to Techniques, posted by agencypanic on March 29, 2003, at 13:01:41
age,,
dont hold too much hope for the pdoc..he/she can only help if you lay..every detail on the line..or if you really want it...like AA...
dont give all that power to the pdoc...its you..you ..you ..you...
we all know that...i think we should all wake up..and see we are the type of people..that truely hold the world together.....
peace
jyl
Posted by PamJeanBrunot on March 29, 2003, at 19:23:50
In reply to Techniques, posted by agencypanic on March 29, 2003, at 13:01:41
Hi agencypanic
try not to panic hun :-) I have felt the way you do here. Try to realize your self-worth and go for it! Dance like no one is watching and smile with your biggest smile:-) It's hard to feel paranoid. Try realizing that you have the power
:-)
I try warm baths, jacuzzi, meditation, visualization, hugging my puppy.
Can you call your doc to explain what you are feeling?
Feel better:-)
Pam
> I need some techniques to help me put an end to the self-torture I inflict upon myself. This
> torture can take the form of recriminations over things done 20 minutes or 20 years ago and which I just can't
> seem to let go. I am plagued by paranoia as it is, but this endless self-deprecation is just making matters worse.
> Does anyone have any suggestions/techniques on how I can get beyond such behavior? I won't be seeing a psychiatrist for
> another two weeks and don't know if I can last that long. I'm taking 4mg of risperdal/day and 20mg of lexapro/day, plus .5mg of lorazepam twice daily or as needed.
> I'm at a loss as to how to make certain thought patterns stop and wake up in dread each morning and spend pretty much all my waking hours consumed by these thoughts of
> failure and regret and a feeling of angst. Maybe this is too vague, but I'm hoping someone can suggest something.
Posted by Phil on March 29, 2003, at 20:12:52
In reply to Techniques, posted by agencypanic on March 29, 2003, at 13:01:41
Sounds like you need to tweak the meds. That was one of my main reasons besides depression, obviously, to get back on meds years ago.
From the moment I woke up, this voice was on a constant loop. Doesn't help interactions with others much. "No it doesn't." "Shutup, stupid."
It's treatable with meds.
Or, you could do cognitive therapy. When I did my CT appt., every time I would think those thoughts the therapist hit me in the head with a rubber hammer, a big one. It's effective too but not very convenient.
There's a very old tricyclic, Nothinkalotamine, that works but one can get ditsy, you know.
Between delusions and voices, ask your doc.Thanks for shopping Frank's Duct Tape store and you come back,
Phil
Posted by paxvox on March 29, 2003, at 20:22:02
In reply to Techniques, posted by agencypanic on March 29, 2003, at 13:01:41
I agree that you might need some med tweaking. Sounds to me as if you are having some classic OCD issues. It's (almost) funny. One Pdoc I told my worries to years ago told me "try not to worry about that". Now that was an epithany! but seriously, as an OCD person, I know what it's like to have such negative "drives". There are simple things you can do to divert your attention from your problems, but I think that it is a medical issue. One of the "simple" things is rubberband around the wrist. Snap it when you start to worry, then have a really nice thing you can think about (I know this sounds elementary, but it can work). Keep yourself active so that you don't have excess time to worry. Get some meds that will put you down at night (now THAT will be the hardest thing, thanks to the benzo-nazis). Klonopin 1-2mg at night would probably help, or alprazolam 1-2 mg. Again, good luck at getting those prescribed for any period of time.
PAX
Posted by Phil on March 29, 2003, at 20:51:15
In reply to Re: Techniques, posted by paxvox on March 29, 2003, at 20:22:02
I've been on Klonopin 5 years or so at 3 mg a day.
I agree w/ Pax that it is the way to go. You won't believe the difference.
I also take Adderall and it blends very well with K. The soundtrack in your head is probably an ADD thing as much as anything.
I'm sure it's hard to remember anything. Is that semi-accurate?
Posted by Dinah on March 29, 2003, at 20:57:32
In reply to Re: Techniques, posted by paxvox on March 29, 2003, at 20:22:02
Where are these benzo-nazis located? Every one of the four pdocs I've seen in my adulthood has pushed either xanax or klonopin on me. Sent me out the door with scrips and instructions to be sure to use them. When I temporarily went up on my klonopin dose, my doctor permanently raised my daily doseage to what I was using. He said he was glad it was there when I needed it. The first two docs wanted me to take more than I was taking.
Do I just come across as someone who *really* needs benzos or is this a regional thing?
Posted by agencypanic on March 29, 2003, at 21:24:41
In reply to Re: Techniques, posted by Phil on March 29, 2003, at 20:51:15
> I've been on Klonopin 5 years or so at 3 mg a day.
> I agree w/ Pax that it is the way to go. You won't believe the difference.
> I also take Adderall and it blends very well with K. The soundtrack in your head is probably an ADD thing as much as anything.
> I'm sure it's hard to remember anything. Is that semi-accurate?Getting harder to remember SOME things, but I was putting that down to getting older. 42 now. I wish that I could resolve the med issue like right now, but
have to wait two weeks, no getting around it. Sleep hasn't been too big a problem because of the meds, but they've made me exceedingly tired a lot of the time.
The pdoc asked me to keep a calendar of how I'm doing since he upped the dosage of risperdal and lexapro, so I've been using a 1-10 scale-- 10 being great. So far
I have't made it past 5 and hover a lot in the 3.5 range. I'm concerned that it's going to mean another anti-depressant, and then the inevitable waiting-for-it-to-take-hold month or two.
I'll ask about Klonopin. Thanks for the advice to everyone. Things are really hard for me now, I appreciate the help.
Posted by PamJeanBrunot on March 29, 2003, at 21:55:32
In reply to Re: Techniques, posted by Phil on March 29, 2003, at 20:12:52
Phil, what a cool sense of humor!
And by the way, I looooooooooooovvveeeeee CBT!!!!! (Conitive Behavioral Therapy)> Sounds like you need to tweak the meds. That was one of my main reasons besides depression, obviously, to get back on meds years ago.
> From the moment I woke up, this voice was on a constant loop. Doesn't help interactions with others much. "No it doesn't." "Shutup, stupid."
> It's treatable with meds.
> Or, you could do cognitive therapy. When I did my CT appt., every time I would think those thoughts the therapist hit me in the head with a rubber hammer, a big one. It's effective too but not very convenient.
> There's a very old tricyclic, Nothinkalotamine, that works but one can get ditsy, you know.
> Between delusions and voices, ask your doc.
>
> Thanks for shopping Frank's Duct Tape store and you come back,
>
> Phil
Posted by PamJeanBrunot on March 29, 2003, at 21:59:17
In reply to Re: Techniques » paxvox, posted by Dinah on March 29, 2003, at 20:57:32
I encounter the same thing. I have had some docs give me benzos like candy but my psychiatrist is benzo-nazi like someone said. I guess different docs obviously have different ethics, dunno.
I live in Oregon, they may be a little more strict here?
> Where are these benzo-nazis located? Every one of the four pdocs I've seen in my adulthood has pushed either xanax or klonopin on me. Sent me out the door with scrips and instructions to be sure to use them. When I temporarily went up on my klonopin dose, my doctor permanently raised my daily doseage to what I was using. He said he was glad it was there when I needed it. The first two docs wanted me to take more than I was taking.
>
> Do I just come across as someone who *really* needs benzos or is this a regional thing?
Posted by bozeman on March 30, 2003, at 0:13:29
In reply to Re: Techniques » Phil, posted by PamJeanBrunot on March 29, 2003, at 21:55:32
Hi agencypanic --
I'm sorry you're feeling so at-your-wit's-end. As for techniques (other than CBT), I've found good old-fashioned brainwashing is somewhat effective for me. I can always yell louder than the voice in my head, and I am more stubborn than it is. If I just yell back something like "Shaddap!!" or keep chanting something ridiculously boring like "john jacob jingleheimer schmidt" or "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me" a la Stuart Smalley, over and over and over and over, or sing Elvis songs at the top of my lungs, those internal judgement tapes usually get bored and leave me alone. (I'm only slightly kidding. It really does work for me when I need it to.)
And I love Duct Tape!! Try using Duct Tape for CBT, now THERE's a hoot!!! Every time you think negative thoughts about yourself, you duct tape your hands together . . . . or wait, is it duct tape yourself to the chair . . . . maybe it's the wall . . . . oh, heck! I can't remember.
One way to keep from losing your keys . . . duct tape them to your hand.
I hope tomorrow is better. Hang in there.
bozeman
> Phil, what a cool sense of humor!
> And by the way, I looooooooooooovvveeeeee CBT!!!!! (Conitive Behavioral Therapy)
>
>
>
> > Sounds like you need to tweak the meds. That was one of my main reasons besides depression, obviously, to get back on meds years ago.
> > From the moment I woke up, this voice was on a constant loop. Doesn't help interactions with others much. "No it doesn't." "Shutup, stupid."
> > It's treatable with meds.
> > Or, you could do cognitive therapy. When I did my CT appt., every time I would think those thoughts the therapist hit me in the head with a rubber hammer, a big one. It's effective too but not very convenient.
> > There's a very old tricyclic, Nothinkalotamine, that works but one can get ditsy, you know.
> > Between delusions and voices, ask your doc.
> >
> > Thanks for shopping Frank's Duct Tape store and you come back,
> >
> > Phil
>
>
Posted by dogboy on March 30, 2003, at 16:47:48
In reply to Techniques, posted by agencypanic on March 29, 2003, at 13:01:41
Hang in there. We are thinking of you.
I have sometimes found that physically looking after myself helps to turn down the volume on negative thoughts... This can be anything from pouring a bath with scented oils to just tidying my room and changing my linen!
Posted by agencypanic on March 30, 2003, at 22:21:50
In reply to Re: Techniques » agencypanic, posted by dogboy on March 30, 2003, at 16:47:48
> Hang in there. We are thinking of you.
>
> I have sometimes found that physically looking after myself helps to turn down the volume on negative thoughts... This can be anything from pouring a bath with scented oils to just tidying my room and changing my linen!Thanks for the kind words and suggestions from all.
This is the end of the thread.
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