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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by mmcasey on April 12, 2003, at 13:04:35
Life just really sucks. I don't know what to do. It is a very nice day outside today - the rain has finally stopped - but I just can't even enjoy it. I feel like I will never be happy and okay. I am so miserable every second of my life. Everything is so depressing. Drugs aren't working for me. Well, those are my thoughts for the hour.
Posted by Miller on April 12, 2003, at 13:23:25
In reply to Life sucks, posted by mmcasey on April 12, 2003, at 13:04:35
I am really not trying to make light of your despair. But try ice cream or another treat food you never allow yourself. My favorite is Cookies and cream. Love it. Hardley ever have it. When I am really down (or being defiant) I try that.
One other trick is to read a favorite children's book. If you can think of a story form Hans Christian Anderson that you loved, his works are all over the internet. Try the "Little match girl" Sad but hopeful.
And one last piece of advice from my family doctor, spend at least 30 minutes outside. (In you car doesn't count.) I will do it today. Relunctantly, of course. But there is trash in my yard and maybe I will walk for 20 minutes.
Don't lose hope yet. There is something out there. Even if it is just the Babble boards. (Sorry Dr. Bob.)
-Miller
Posted by justyourlaugh on April 12, 2003, at 13:37:53
In reply to Re: Life sucks » mmcasey, posted by Miller on April 12, 2003, at 13:23:25
mm,
it sure can be a bitch...
large amounts of alcohol helps me,,just kidding.
be good to yourself.
peace
jyl
Posted by Hollygirl on April 12, 2003, at 14:49:35
In reply to Life sucks, posted by mmcasey on April 12, 2003, at 13:04:35
I am sorry you are having such a hard time. Last night I felt exactly as you do now. I shut myself in a dark room and cried and went through a list of all the reasons I am worthless. But then I went and played with my ferrets and before I knew it, their crazy antics had me laughing. I hope things get better for you soon and that you can find something to smile about today.
Posted by noa on April 12, 2003, at 15:34:22
In reply to Re: Life sucks » mmcasey, posted by Hollygirl on April 12, 2003, at 14:49:35
I know. SOmetimes it is like that. But as you can see in the thread above, "Things getting better", it can get better. fi was having a really rough time and is starting to feel a bit better, in small stages.
I think when it is nice weather and we feel rotten, there is an added feeling of pressure we put on ourselves because we feel like we should go out and enjoy the nice weather, since usually it makes us feel better. But when we are in the midst of an episode, it doesn't exactly work that way, does it?
Glad you asked for support. Give yourself lots of TLC.
Posted by lostsailor on April 12, 2003, at 15:47:53
In reply to Life sucks, posted by mmcasey on April 12, 2003, at 13:04:35
MMC,
I know only to well what you are talking about. I have felt this way on and off for what seems like eternity. Drugs work but only when you find the right ones. Later those often "poop-out" and the mad doc mixes a new tonic. Sometimes pleasant; other times bitter. Sometimes potent, others weak.
For me...
It started with panic attacks
and those made me sad.
The sadness lead to despair
and in despair one can't be glad.
Desire was cloaked in self-loathing
So I hid and now am scared to go out.
I got lonely which made me loony
I sit isolated; I am an island.
I’m no Paul Simon.Not being "me" led to fear,
all wanted me to be "me."
I couldn't and I can't.
Now I am me, which most don't get.They loved and I ran.
I longed for them,
but needed to be alone.
I am good at being alone now,
an eccentric recluseI have given up on "me' but not me.
I must have hope.
You must too;
we hope for you, tooI still miss "me,"
but have accepted me.
I two great friends, my mom and my cat.
I guess, for now,
I must like it like that.Welcome to PB, feel free to be yourself.
God knows we are here and meds come in chilled
glasses.
Shaken or stirred??>>I'll pourIn peace,
~tony
Posted by justyourlaugh on April 12, 2003, at 16:20:38
In reply to mmc , posted by lostsailor on April 12, 2003, at 15:47:53
dear god tony,,
"i am a rock" as well..
drinking beer...waiting for night fall..
hate today
peace
jyl
Posted by leeran on April 12, 2003, at 18:04:19
In reply to Re: mmc » lostsailor, posted by justyourlaugh on April 12, 2003, at 16:20:38
I hated Thursday, didn't like Friday and I'm okay with today.
I suppose that's what helps me put one foot in front of the other. The not-so good days make the okay days seem that much better.
Every day seems like a crap shoot (or a carp shoot if you like fishing with guns).
Tony/Lost Sailor - I loved your soliloquy. It's a reminder to be nice to the ever evolving "me." One on one fist fights can be so draining.
On another note -
Does anyone else experience that anxious/agitated feeling between day and night?
My mother said she's heard it referred to as "twilighting" - but I think she might have confused it with "sundowning."
I don't have it all the time but your sentence, JYL, of "waiting for night fall..." reminded me of that feeling I sometimes get. Actually, it just occurred to me that it doesn't seem to happen as much since I've been on Adderall.
I remember that after having my son the transition between daytime and night would almost send me into a panic state.
Posted by noa on April 12, 2003, at 19:55:35
In reply to Re: mmc, posted by leeran on April 12, 2003, at 18:04:19
> Does anyone else experience that anxious/agitated feeling between day and night?
William Styron did, apparently--according to his description of his depression in "Darkness Visible".
Posted by noa on April 12, 2003, at 19:56:33
In reply to Re: mmc, posted by noa on April 12, 2003, at 19:55:35
> > Does anyone else experience that anxious/agitated feeling between day and night?
>
>
> William Styron did, apparently--according to his description of his depression in "Darkness Visible".
Posted by Hollygirl on April 12, 2003, at 20:18:22
In reply to Re: mmc, posted by leeran on April 12, 2003, at 18:04:19
> Does anyone else experience that anxious/agitated feeling between day and night?
>Yes! I get the almost every day at sundown. I hate it. I just start pacing around and around in circles!
Posted by mmcasey on April 12, 2003, at 20:34:10
In reply to Re: mmc, posted by leeran on April 12, 2003, at 18:04:19
Thanks to all of you for the words of support. It's good to know that I'm not alone. I actually find it quite amazing that there are so many of us out there who keep going through this struggle, keep fighting and "putting one foot in front of the other" despite everything that we are faced with emotionally, socially, and in every other way. It gives me inspiration sometimes to think of all of the people, including myself, who keep at it and stay alive and keep trying to attain that elusive and flickering sense of contentment and/or happiness, even if it only lasts for a minute or two. The rest of my day has been *okay*. But it is just so hard during those many hours of misery and depair to see any hope or point in the future and the rest of my life because I just feel like this pain will never really stop!! But, for now at least, for this one moment, I am okay. And maybe tomorrow I will be for a while too, or maybe not. We will see....
Meghan
Posted by white rabbit on April 12, 2003, at 20:59:07
In reply to Life sucks, posted by mmcasey on April 12, 2003, at 13:04:35
Are you really sure that you gave the anti-depressants a fair trial? The first time I tried an SSRI, it didn't work (I realize now) because I wasn't taking the stuff as directed. I pretty much expected it to work like aspirin...and when I didn't feel any better after a few days and then after a couple of weeks, I started skipping doses and a short time later I just gave up on it.You have to take it exactly as prescribed for a number of weeks before you start noticing improvement. I know that when you're seriously depressed, a "number of weeks" is an eternity in hell, and your doctor may prescribe benzos for relief in the meantime, if he feels you can use them responsibly.
I'm sure that sometime between the near and distant future, medical science will come up with a fast-acting anti-depressant with no side effects. In the meantime, you might as well take advantage of a drug like Paxil or Prozac or Zoloft, because certainly eventual relief is much more satisfying than no relief at all.
-Gracie alive on Paxil
Posted by mmcasey on April 13, 2003, at 11:51:44
In reply to Re: Life sucks, posted by white rabbit on April 12, 2003, at 20:59:07
Yes, I've given them all a fair trial. I am completely compliant and dedicated to giving the drugs a chance... I've been on 5 different things all for quite a while, and none of them have resulted in any improvement of symptoms, not even minimal. I've never quit because of side effects. I've never skipped a single dose. I never expected them to work like aspirin. I actually know a good deal about medications and neuro stuff because I studied neuroscience in college and I did some projects on psychopharmacology, and also I now work in the psychiatry department. So I really do not think that I am being "unfair" to the medications. But I really just want something to work!!
Posted by WorryGirl on April 13, 2003, at 16:34:10
In reply to Life sucks, posted by mmcasey on April 12, 2003, at 13:04:35
Hi there,
Hope you feel better soon. Maybe in a day or two your down mood will lift. One reason I'm afraid to get on drugs is that ultimately they won't really help. I know several people who took Paxil and felt great for a while, but then started feeling worse than before. Maybe there's another drug out there that will really work for you, though.I've felt like you. I either recline on the sofa all day and get nothing accomplished or do the same along with crying all day, as well.
Sometimes prayer helps for me. Sometimes a hug. Sometimes this website.
This is the end of the thread.
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