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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Eddie Sylvano on April 17, 2003, at 9:22:28
Does anyone else have total inconsistancy in their daily mood? It's like there's no connection between the previous day's experience. Every time I wake up, it's a little surprise. Drugs seem to sway the curve a bit (and flatten the spikes), but I still have no idea how I'll feel the next day. I can't even imagine having a baseline that I can rely on. When good days come, I sieze them, but I have no idea how to reproduce them. Roll with the punches, I guess. My outlook changes hourly (or it doesn't). I could never host a TV show.
Posted by Kar on April 17, 2003, at 9:48:09
In reply to good-bad-tired-neutral-absent-great-okay, posted by Eddie Sylvano on April 17, 2003, at 9:22:28
Of course you could host a tv show! Think of the element of surprise! Viewers would tune in just see how you'd behave on a given day... Like reality tv. Anyway, sorry to kid about it. I think sometimes I just have to.
The inconsistency is maddening. I don't get the daily swaying though. That must be the worst. Are you working now, Eddie? My God, I cant imagine. You know, it's bad enough when you aren't working. "Can you go to the movies on Friday night, Karen?"..."er, um..no. Maybe. Oh yeah that's cool. Sorry, i'm sick"! That's what I really hate about it. It's a little surprise when I wake up too though, because I've been cycling a little more. I'm glad drugs are evening you out a little bit, at least. What are you on?
>to reproduce them.
Oish, do I know how THAT is. I almost wish sometimes that the bipolar was due to some traumatic event (this is meaning absolutely no intentional disrespect for anyone who's been through that) and was brought on each time by a stresor of sorts, because then at least talking about it could help. But it wasn't.It would be nice to able to roll with the punches, wouldn't it? but it does get pretty tiresome to live your life like that! Chip Chip Chipping away at you...
Hope this is one of your good days,
karen
Posted by Eddie Sylvano on April 17, 2003, at 10:53:06
In reply to Au Contraire » Eddie Sylvano, posted by Kar on April 17, 2003, at 9:48:09
> The inconsistency is maddening. I don't get the daily swaying though. That must be the worst. Are you working now, Eddie? My God, I cant imagine. You know, it's bad enough when you aren't working. "Can you go to the movies on Friday night, Karen?"..."er, um..no. Maybe. Oh yeah that's cool. Sorry, i'm sick"! That's what I really hate about it. It's a little surprise when I wake up too though, because I've been cycling a little more. I'm glad drugs are evening you out a little bit, at least. What are you on?
--------------------Yeah, I'm at work now. Fortunately, I'm a programmer, and get to work in my own office in relative privacy. My productive days (when I have them, anyway) are productive enough that I can fairly easily make it through the off days. I'm glad my brain waited until this point in my life to flake out. I couldn't handle working at Kroger's or the university help desk like this. This also allows me to post here :)
Right now I'm just on 40mg Celexa, though it's efficacy is waning, I fear. I don't know what else would help, though. My main issues are with anxiety(?) (trembling, can't focus[mentally or literally], breathing shallow and quickly), mood (flat/morose/elated), and energy (usually none, sometimes intense bursts of). I fidget and rock my legs constantly, while sitting in tight, unusual positions. I also have nasty episodes of depersonalization (is this all real?). The world sometimes seems like it's happening "somewhere else," and the people in it know something I don't. I sometimes feel like crying (and do), though not sad at all. I love everyone and feel for them. It's as if I'm overwhelmed most of the time, and I've just learned to live with it.
Probably more than you wanted to know, but thanks for responding.
Posted by noa on April 17, 2003, at 13:32:40
In reply to Re: Au Contraire » Kar, posted by Eddie Sylvano on April 17, 2003, at 10:53:06
Yeah, and it's one reason I'm nervous about starting to work full time and under more scrutiny, as they've gotten so hard-assed at work. Some days I just wake up feeling in a funk or physically just worn out.
Usually, my day gets better later on. But not always. IF work is stressful, then it can go the other way.
Posted by WorryGirl on April 17, 2003, at 17:06:12
In reply to good-bad-tired-neutral-absent-great-okay, posted by Eddie Sylvano on April 17, 2003, at 9:22:28
Yes, but it seems that my inconsistency depends almost entirely upon anything, big or small, that disrupts me in any way.
It sounds so trivial but I get out of sorts about everything from a phone bill being higher than I expected, to my kids being cranky, or me spilling something. If I perceive that I've said something wrong it's really all over then.
If my life runs smoothly, so do I. What a baby I am.
This is the end of the thread.
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