Shown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by lostsailor on April 18, 2003, at 2:09:05
errrr....everyone's dating and I am no-longer sure it is worth while. Is my heart just hard now. Am I being "careful" Am I just plain nuts???????? ~tony
Posted by Tabitha on April 18, 2003, at 2:13:55
In reply to God, It's me ~tony-God or Judy bloom, posted by lostsailor on April 18, 2003, at 2:09:05
honey I went years without dating.. best thing I ever did. Had to break the bad patterns.
Posted by lostsailor on April 18, 2003, at 2:44:35
In reply to Re: God, It's me ~tony-God or Judy bloom, posted by Tabitha on April 18, 2003, at 2:13:55
I left fiancé of 5 on and off years in 1999/2000--it is now 3003!! I know, I know--you knew that it is.
I have dated since, but to be honest, not one has met my standards. I don't ask for much: a bit of wit and brains. Literacy is a turn on for me--is that odd??
I have a good beer on occasion, but can also "handle" a date without on. Sex is great, but am I terrible for thinking it may be needed to be done on the first date???Erggg...I won't even get started--I'll be writting all night..lmao
~tony
Posted by Tabitha on April 18, 2003, at 3:24:30
In reply to ---tabby, posted by lostsailor on April 18, 2003, at 2:44:35
i've got you beat.. my last actual steady boyfriend was.. um, er, mid-90s? to be honest I can't remember. Literacy.. yup that's a good one. Wit & intelligence are tops, but I've been known to settle for a dumb hunk. Never works out.
Posted by Kar on April 18, 2003, at 8:20:24
In reply to God, It's me ~tony-God or Judy bloom, posted by lostsailor on April 18, 2003, at 2:09:05
Tabitha mentioned her relationship (and I am so very disappointed in you for that, T. Is that why you knew that little sweaters for dogs site? eesh) with a man that had a little dog. Companionship, Tony...yap yap! Actually dogs in general are chick magnets, esp puppies. Go to the local shelter and offer to volunteer to walk the dogs, then you won't have to own one. Go to the park and giddy-up- you'll be all set.
And Tony, not everyone is dating. you'd be very very surprised I think. It's just that the people who aren't don't really talk about it! Once you start feeling consistently better you can commence your quest...then you'll be all set...
Don't worry- she's probably out there getting over her last relationship with a twisted little Dogman and just waiting for you to come along. I just can't believe that anyone would even ENTERTAIN the idea of going out with a Dogman, Tabitha. Where to draw the line...a little bird on his shoulder...a cat worn in a snuggly...a bunny in a basket...a hampster in a pocket*...*No sexual innuendos intended
Posted by Tabitha on April 18, 2003, at 13:51:28
In reply to Just an idea, but...(Tony/Tabitha), posted by Kar on April 18, 2003, at 8:20:24
oh, ouch, (laughing thru the pain) give me some credit, lots of people like dogs, I thought it was cute at first.. , gave us something to focus on besides each other during those first few awkward moments.. I just didn't realize the extent of his attachment.
Posted by lostsailor on April 18, 2003, at 15:54:01
In reply to Re: Just an idea, but...(Tony/Tabitha) » Kar, posted by Tabitha on April 18, 2003, at 13:51:28
>>I left fiancé of 5 on and off years in 1999/2000--it is now 3003!! I know, I know--you knew that it is.
I have dated since, but to be honest, not one has met my standards. I don't ask for much: a bit of wit and brains. Literacy is a turn on for me--is that odd??
I have a good beer on occasion, but can also "handle" a date without on. Sex is great, but am I terrible for thinking it may be needed to be done on the first date???
Erggg...I won't even get started--I'll be writting all night..lmao
~tony<<Sorry, but I just had to fix this one…
I left fiancé of 5, on and off years, in 1999/2000--it is now 3003(*2003)!! I know, I know--you knew that it is (*ALREADY,TABBY).
I have dated since, but to be honest, not one has met my standards. I don't ask for much: a bit of wit and brains. Literacy is a turn on for me--is that odd??
I have a good beer on occasion, but can also "handle" a date without on (*,TOO). Sex is great, but am I terrible for thinking it may (*NOT) be needed to be done on the first date???
Erggg...I won't even get started--I'll be writting (*writing) all night…lmao~tony
Posted by ayuda on April 18, 2003, at 16:23:07
In reply to God, It's me ~tony-God or Judy bloom, posted by lostsailor on April 18, 2003, at 2:09:05
> errrr....everyone's dating and I am no-longer sure it is worth while. Is my heart just hard now. Am I being "careful" Am I just plain nuts???????? ~tony
Tony --
This might amuse you:
My last boyfriend and I broke up in January 1997, and since that time, I have had sex 5 times to date. More information than you wanted to know? -- read on!However, prior to that, from the ages of 14-31, I dated more than 100 guys, slept with more than that (no moral judgements from anyone, PLEASE, I'm a big girl, I do as I please and avoided pregnancy/diseases by being smart and prepared), and had one great heck of a time. That doesn't mean that I never fell in love, either -- I was even engaged once, in love a couple more times than that. Had the heart broken a few times (not the 1997 time, though, that was one relationship that should never have happened).
You know what? I don't miss dating at all, or even long term relationships (although I do wish sometimes that there was someone else here to go to the store or take me to school when I don't feel up to driving -- so I need a chauffer more than a husband).
I sometimes wonder if I just got jaded or something like that, but I think I just got bored with the whole thing, maybe. You know the saying about too much of a good thing....
I wouldn't say that I actively avoid men these days -- I still feel that I do as I please, and if I wanted to be out there collecting men, or even searching for my soulmate, I would, and I know it. I am working on my PhD, and my field (History) is one of my first loves, and I give it the time and energy that I want to give it, which is about all I've got (after my family, but they are 1000 miles away).
So maybe you've found something else that you love, or maybe you are just not in the mood to deal with the opposite sex. You're not nuts, at least I don't think so.
We are socialized to believe that we are supposed to want to be in long term relationships, that our personal goals HAVE TO include marriage and reproduction, that anything that deviates from those goals is insane. So you've broken out of the mold -- congratulations!!!
Maybe someday, just like Gloria Steinham (okay, I'm not a rabid feminist, but I also don't buy into the idea that I HAVE to get married to have a life and identity), I will meet my soulmate and marry him (she was 66 when she got married for the 1st time). Or maybe all of my friends, male and female, are my soulmates, and I have already established a love with them and don't need to possess another person through legal channels to love them.
You know what -- go with what YOUR heart tells you, and you will be happy.
Posted by white rabbit on April 18, 2003, at 18:17:46
In reply to Re: Just an idea, but...(Tony/Tabitha) » Kar, posted by Tabitha on April 18, 2003, at 13:51:28
Husband walking out on me after 20 years...mid-life crisis, probably getting a little on the side, tired of my craziness. And apparently my love and devotion and cooking and my fabulous wit.Right now, the thought of dating again kind of makes me sick to my stomach. I'd rather be alone for awhile, proabably a LONG while, maybe forEVER.
From where I'm standing, that doesn't look bad at
all.
-Gracie
Posted by ayuda on April 18, 2003, at 19:26:10
In reply to My 2 cents, posted by white rabbit on April 18, 2003, at 18:17:46
>
> Husband walking out on me after 20 years...mid-life crisis, probably getting a little on the side, tired of my craziness. And apparently my love and devotion and cooking and my fabulous wit.
>
> Right now, the thought of dating again kind of makes me sick to my stomach. I'd rather be alone for awhile, proabably a LONG while, maybe forEVER.
> From where I'm standing, that doesn't look bad at
> all.
> -Gracie
I watched my mom go through that, too, though the cheating on my dad's part lasted the entire 18 years of the marriage, and then it lasted through 5 more years of sheer hell, with physical abuse and violent fights that involved the whole family, including us kids (who were young teens at the time). My mom ended up getting another man in her life early on during that time, but he eventually was even worse than my dad. She has dated on and off since all that (the initial break-up between them was in 1980), but she would never, ever get married again. And the funny thing is, neither would my dad, even though he has had long term relationships with other women since then, too.Which, then, to get back on Tony's subject, may also be why I never felt the need to get married nor do I get upset at not dating -- I had my "bad marriage" living through my parents'. Couple that with GAD that I've suffered from all my life, and it doesn't exactly spell domestic bliss.
Posted by lostsailor on April 18, 2003, at 20:42:14
In reply to Re: My 2 cents » white rabbit, posted by ayuda on April 18, 2003, at 19:26:10
Eerr
Looks like my chronic love search has ended again in tragedy. I actually thought you were partly serious in you original post, Gracie. I had no idea about divorce ect. If I did I would never have made the subject into comic relief. Honest. I think it’s time for me to stick my head in the sand for a while with the other ostriches over here… http://www.safari-iafrica.com/safari/index.html
Posted by ayuda on April 18, 2003, at 21:02:40
In reply to Re: My 2 cents--white rabbit, ayuda...., posted by lostsailor on April 18, 2003, at 20:42:14
> Eerr
>
> Looks like my chronic love search has ended again in tragedy. I actually thought you were partly serious in you original post, Gracie. I had no idea about divorce ect. If I did I would never have made the subject into comic relief. Honest. I think it’s time for me to stick my head in the sand for a while with the other ostriches over here… http://www.safari-iafrica.com/safari/index.html
>
I don't think that either of us meant to bring you down, Tony! Please come back from Africa!
Posted by white rabbit on April 18, 2003, at 22:08:34
In reply to Re: My 2 cents--white rabbit, ayuda.... » lostsailor, posted by ayuda on April 18, 2003, at 21:02:40
This is the end of the thread.
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