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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by jay on August 8, 2003, at 2:29:21
I know I've brought this subject up much before, but I really could use some womanly advice on this. (And guys..your insights are welcome too.)
Overall, it seems hard to find a woman in her 30's who is not married/engaged, etc. Many are also single mothers, but that really doesn't bother me too much, as long as it is a stable situation (i.e. the 'ex' doesn't live in the basement of her house!) and the person may be willing to have another child with me. (Boy..I am JUMPING WAY ahead of myself!..heh..)I am considering putting out a singles personal ad, either on the internet or on one of those telephone dating services. I know there is all of this talk about joining a club or a class or something, but I am working on my second university degree, and need that extra time to devout to my schoolwork. (I am taking a distance education program, so there is *nil* classroom/campus interaction.)
The only major problemetic area is ruined finances through years of unemployment and debt because I went from a proffessional job to nothing. I am working, slowly, on changing that to, though.
So..I am really looking for suggestions...even open-ended advise, etc. DDating in your 30's is so much different then in late teens or 20's. I don't mind a bit of 'baggage', but again, as long as it rarely interferes with a healthy relationship. Obviously I am a bit leary of someone who is divorced, but I am willing to give it a shot as long as they are very dedicated also.
So..I hope to hear from as many as possible..:-)
Thanks very much again..
Peace,
Jay
Posted by slinky on August 8, 2003, at 2:43:02
In reply to 33 year old male, re-entering dating 'market'..:-), posted by jay on August 8, 2003, at 2:29:21
Hey Jay ..good luck sweet !
I can't find anyone who is single and doesn't talk about their ex all the time.
The 30's for me is much better than 20's..I'm a bit more wiser and medicated :-)
It's seems hard finding a healthy relationship though nowadays..either all married or messed up. I'm messed up - miserable/depressive :-)
Posted by trauma queen on August 8, 2003, at 14:31:57
In reply to 33 year old male, re-entering dating 'market'..:-), posted by jay on August 8, 2003, at 2:29:21
I think I may feel the same as you, Jay, but at this point have no desire to date. I'm 32, an ICU nurse, applying to get into school for the Master's program in Anesthesiology Nursing. I feel like I'm a great catch, personally...I'm well educated, make great money, love to have fun, I'm athletic, try to keep in shape, have great friends and great family. But I am in the process of breaking up with a divorced guy, 40 yrs old, with 2 young kids he has partial custody of. I lived with him for the last couple months, and became so depressed and had multiple panic attacks weekly--I just couldn't take it anymore.
Now, with the help of my close friends and family, I moved out...and I'm trying to get my life back. I started on Lexapro, and it's doing a fairly good job, but now I stay in my house a lot and have very little motivation. I need to get back on track.
I so understand your dilemma...but here in South Florida, there are a lot of men (and women) in their late 20's, early 30's who are single and always have been. By the time you reach your 30's though...EVERYONE, single or not, has been hurt and has some kind of baggage. The trick is...finding the person who uses their experiences to make themselves a better person--as opposed to those who focus on their past so much, that they can't look to the future.
However...I wouldn't recommend moving in with someone who has partial custody of children... ha ha!!
Tari Anne
Posted by katia on August 10, 2003, at 0:16:24
In reply to 33 year old male, re-entering dating 'market'..:-), posted by jay on August 8, 2003, at 2:29:21
> I know I've brought this subject up much before, but I really could use some womanly advice on this. (And guys..your insights are welcome too.)
> Overall, it seems hard to find a woman in her 30's who is not married/engaged, etc. Many are also single mothers, but that really doesn't bother me too much, as long as it is a stable situation (i.e. the 'ex' doesn't live in the basement of her house!) and the person may be willing to have another child with me. (Boy..I am JUMPING WAY ahead of myself!..heh..)
>
> I am considering putting out a singles personal ad, either on the internet or on one of those telephone dating services. I know there is all of this talk about joining a club or a class or something, but I am working on my second university degree, and need that extra time to devout to my schoolwork. (I am taking a distance education program, so there is *nil* classroom/campus interaction.)
>
> The only major problemetic area is ruined finances through years of unemployment and debt because I went from a proffessional job to nothing. I am working, slowly, on changing that to, though.
>
> So..I am really looking for suggestions...even open-ended advise, etc. DDating in your 30's is so much different then in late teens or 20's. I don't mind a bit of 'baggage', but again, as long as it rarely interferes with a healthy relationship. Obviously I am a bit leary of someone who is divorced, but I am willing to give it a shot as long as they are very dedicated also.
>
> So..I hope to hear from as many as possible..:-)
>
> Thanks very much again..
>
> Peace,
> Jay
Just thought I'd put my two cents in. I would MUCH prefer to be with someone who has already had a broken heart. who has endured that and come out wiser and experienced on the other side. No way do I want a green man. I wouldn't be so quick to disregard a "past". It's better than being the teacher. let someone else do it and get him/her when hopefully they've grown up and learned a thing or two about love and relationships! know what I mean?I live in the bay area of Cal. and a lot of people are doing match maker thingies. It's starting to be common - go for it! why not? put it out there what you want and see what happens!
good luck!
Katia
Posted by Susan J on August 11, 2003, at 14:21:53
In reply to 33 year old male, re-entering dating 'market'..:-), posted by jay on August 8, 2003, at 2:29:21
Hi, Jay,
I know this is easy to say, harder to do, but here goes:
Just be yourself and be confident that you are someone worth getting to know. Don't worry about your finances. If you start seeing someone regularly, tell them, but other than that, it's nobody's business.
I'm in the same boat as you -- 36 year old female who would like to meet someone emotionally healthy, healthy dating habits, etc. I've never married, no kids, because I spent all of my 20s in horrible relationships. I can confidently say now, after 2 years therapy, and meds, that I know what I want, it's something good, and I know that it's out there for me somewhere....
Same goes for you. Good luck!
Susan
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