![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 6, 2003, at 18:26:32
In reply to Living with BP, posted by Skir on October 6, 2003, at 11:14:26
> Hello all,
>
> I was wondering if any of you could help me out. My wife is Bi-polar and I am just learning how to deal with this. Does anyone have any advice on how I can can be more supportive? Are there any good books that I should read to help me work with her on this? I love her to pieces, and I want to be there for her.
>
> Any feedback is appreciated.
>
> Thanks!
Posted by faroop on October 8, 2003, at 8:32:30
In reply to Living with BP « Skir, posted by Dr. Bob on October 6, 2003, at 18:26:32
My girlfriend, who is living with bipolar disorder, as well as OCD and anxiety problems, suggested I might stop by and say some encouraging words.
I don't know that I have the greatest advice on how to be more supportive, because right now I don't think I'm doing the greatest job. BUT, you need to develop a strong listening ear. Listen, without getting upset, without judging, without trying to fix anything, without even expecting things to get better. Just listen.
Sometimes you will want to scream because how can someone you love be in this much pain with nothing you can do about it. So you should find someone who can support you. This part I have not done well, so I can only advise learning from my mistakes. If you find someone who will listen to you without judging your situation, you can scream all you want without making your wife feel bad for causing you pain. Because you will hurt sometimes, but it's not her fault. You need to find a way to deal with your own hurt and frustration without making your wife feel terrible.
I also went to my girlfriend's pdoc with her early on in our relationship. I asked him questions about the long-term course of the illness, what I should be watching for, etc. It was helpful. Books are really good, too, but it is possible to read yourself to death. There's no book that's going to solve the problem. There's no way that you or your wife can just "try harder" and take the illness away. You just have to keep finding a way to navigate the illness that works well for both of you.
Good luck!
Posted by faroop on October 8, 2003, at 12:14:42
In reply to Re: Living with BP » Dr. Bob, posted by faroop on October 8, 2003, at 8:32:30
Posted by karen_kay on October 9, 2003, at 19:26:35
In reply to Re: Living with BP » Dr. Bob, posted by faroop on October 8, 2003, at 8:32:30
I have Bipolar Disorder and have found that the best way to deal with it is through education and medication. A great book is The Bipolar Disorder Survial Guide. It is very down-to-Earth,inexpensive, and helpful. Be sure to encourage your girlfriend to stay on her medication. That is the best way to deal with this illness. You sound like a very caring man. Good luck to you and your girlfriend! Karen
Posted by deirdrehbrt on October 9, 2003, at 22:47:01
In reply to Re: Living with BP, posted by karen_kay on October 9, 2003, at 19:26:35
I also have bipolar(1) disorder. I think that what I would like for support from a significant other would be:
1. That they understand that until controled by meds, my moods may vary wildly.
2. That while I am on meds, there may be changes that will require my meds be modified. During these periods, my moods may again vary wildly.
3. That I may stop taking some meds because I miss the 'high' of my mania. Please notice this and help me see that this is ultimately bad for both of us.
4. Please learn my moods so that when one comes on through my condition you will be able to recognize that and help me.
5. I may be hospitalized do to my illness. Please help me to feel as important and valuable as I did outside of the hospital. Please visit me there if I want visitors. Please send me a card, please let me know you still care.
6. Please don't let me blow off a doctor's visit.
7. Read, learn what you can about bipolar disorder. What you know can keep you from feeling afraid of what you might not have known before.
8,9,10: Please, please, please, no matter what state that I am in, let me know you love me.I really hope this helps.
Dee.
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 10, 2003, at 0:58:57
In reply to Re: Living with BP, posted by karen_kay on October 9, 2003, at 19:26:35
> I have Bipolar Disorder and have found that the best way to deal with it is through education and medication. A great book is The Bipolar Disorder Survial Guide...
I'd just like to plug the double double quotes feature at this site:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#amazon
The first time anyone refers to a book without using this option, I post this to try to make sure he or she at least knows about it. It's just an option, though, and doesn't *have* to be used. If people *choose* not to use it, I'd be interested why not, but I'd like that redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020918/msgs/7717.html
Thanks!
Bob
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.