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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by holymama on January 5, 2004, at 17:38:04
Hi! I'm a new member, a 30 year old mother of three little ones, artist, long time depressive, newly diagnosed and newly medicated bipolar. My antidepressant maniced me out this fall. I had what I can only describe as a beautiful but intense three month religious experience. I am now on a mood stablizer that is woking pretty well, but waiting for it to stabilize. That's me and my mental illness in a nutshell. Other than that, I live a pretty nice life. Good husband, three beautiful and smart children, a few good friends, I'm learning to be a potter, I live near the ocean, have a new puppy, a nice new down comforter with a flannel duvet cover to sleep off my mood stabilizer-sleepiness.
I'm just trying to come to terms with being on serious meds, being bipolar, having a close to God experience, having a new faith in God and figuring out what to do with that. I'm sure there are a few of you out there who can relate to at least one of the above!
Posted by Dinah on January 5, 2004, at 17:42:29
In reply to Hi I'm the new bipolar here, posted by holymama on January 5, 2004, at 17:38:04
Posted by socks on January 5, 2004, at 19:27:12
In reply to Re: Welcome! :) (nm) » holymama, posted by Dinah on January 5, 2004, at 17:42:29
Hi Holymama,
I was diagnosed Bi-Polar II about 3 weeks ago and it crushed me. I have since done alot of reading and talking to my therapist . I do feel that I am coming to terms with serious meds, depakote, and will hope to get better after awhile. This is a good place to find info and support.Another place in healingwell.com.
Take Care,
Socks
Posted by justyourlaugh on January 6, 2004, at 8:37:35
In reply to Re: Welcome! :), posted by socks on January 5, 2004, at 19:27:12
hi holymama,
welcome.
i can relate to many of your points
i have kids,husband, in my 30's ,artist.
on a stabilizer..
i can only get to the ocean once a year though,,but i love it..
welcome welcome..
j
Posted by Karen_kay on January 6, 2004, at 15:35:19
In reply to Hi I'm the new bipolar here, posted by holymama on January 5, 2004, at 17:38:04
Hiya! I want a down comforter :( They ARE lovely!!! But, if I had one, I wouldn't want to leave my bed! Welcome here! I hope you like it! If you are interested, there is a book I highly suggest reading and owning about Bipolar Disorder. It's called "The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide" It is really reader friendly and matter of fact. I still refer to it. And this site is really helpful and supportive as well! Good luck hun! It sounds like you're on the right track! And I'm sure you'll feel better once the meds stabilize! :)
Karen
Posted by judy1 on January 7, 2004, at 10:48:11
In reply to Hi I'm the new bipolar here, posted by holymama on January 5, 2004, at 17:38:04
Hi and welcome! I totally identify with your religious experience, I had a manic episode where I tried to start a cult (and almost succeeded). Be careful with the ADs- my worst psychotic episode came about through an SSRI. Did you only get manic through taking an AD? If so, that would make you bp3, and you wouldn't necessarily have to be on a mood stabilizer (unless it makes you feel better). I've learned I cannot take an AD (even with a mood stabilizer) because I always get manic- so I just get therapy for depressions. I also have children (2 young ones), they are such a delight- aren't they? BTW, early on in diagnosis a lot of people refer to themselves through their labels, I think it's part of the acceptance of the illness. But I'm going to think of you as the new member who's a mom and artist- OK? :-)
take care, judy
Posted by holymama on January 7, 2004, at 11:25:13
In reply to Re: Hi I'm the new bipolar here » holymama, posted by judy1 on January 7, 2004, at 10:48:11
Hello and thank you everyone for the really thoughtful and kind responses. I'm finding that this site is filling some kind of need that I've had -- like a support group. It's hard to talk with any of my friends or family about the intense experiences I've had over the last few years. I find that everyone wants to write off my experiences as my 'crazy' period, escpecially the religious stuff. They want me to move on and forget about it. The problem is, I'm a much more religious person now and a much more inspired person and I want to use that in a good way, but everyone seems put off by it or scared of it because it's a big change for me. I'm fairly certain that I'm not being over the top religious by the way -- it's mostly a private internal thing. I don't know how many people have had a manic experience of some sort that has moved you and stuck with you in some way after the mania was done, but only for you to find out that noone wants to hear about it.
In response to Judy's post, I'm not sure what label to put on myself, but my depressions over the last few years have become deeper and deeper, lasting longer and longer (the last was 6 months), with short bursts of 'euphoria' in between. There has been literally no break and no periods of normal mood for me for the last two years. So even though it was the SSRI that threw me into a mania (the only time I've gotten anywhere near psychotic), I'm pretty sure there was some bipolar there before the SSRI. I also feel like I can't deal with the depression without an SSRI -- I tried therapy, a naturopathic doctor, St. John's Wort, supplements, diet changes, exercise, and the depression was lasting longer and longer and I was starting to consider suicide. I also can't function well like that as a mother -- any stress (my two year old whining for example) sent me crying and weeping in the corner of the room or so angry that I was afraid I would hurt someone. What am I going to do if I keep getting manic on my SSRI?
Posted by judy1 on January 8, 2004, at 13:31:54
In reply to Re: Hi I'm the new bipolar here, posted by holymama on January 7, 2004, at 11:25:13
"The problem is, I'm a much more religious person now and a much more inspired person and I want to use that in a good way, but everyone seems put off by it or scared of it because it's a big change for me."
It's not a problem at all if you've become more spiritual and are no longer in a manic episode. It's common for people who have witnessed religious fervor that was part of a manic episode to think how you feel now is still somehow part of that. Have you tried posting on the faith board? Do you have a pastor now? If not, you may find comfort in joining a church and attending bible sessions, etc.
" In response to Judy's post, I'm not sure what label to put on myself, but my depressions over the last few years have become deeper and deeper, lasting longer and longer (the last was 6 months), with short bursts of 'euphoria' in between. There has been literally no break and no periods of normal mood for me for the last two years. So even though it was the SSRI that threw me into a mania (the only time I've gotten anywhere near psychotic), I'm pretty sure there was some bipolar there before the SSRI. I also feel like I can't deal with the depression without an SSRI -- I tried therapy, a naturopathic doctor, St. John's Wort, supplements, diet changes, exercise, and the depression was lasting longer and longer and I was starting to consider suicide. I also can't function well like that as a mother -- any stress (my two year old whining for example) sent me crying and weeping in the corner of the room or so angry that I was afraid I would hurt someone. What am I going to do if I keep getting manic on my SSRI?"
It's unusual to get manic on an AD while taking a mood stabilizer unless you are BP 1. And since you have only experienced hypomanic episodes except for the SSRI-induced mania (were you on a mood stabilizer at the time?), you are in all probability bp2 which does tend to have bad depressions dispersed with short hypomanic episodes. Unfortunately, people with bipolar who are given an AD without a mood stabilizer do get rapid-cycling (I think it's 20% in women with bipolar disorder), but as moods level out hopefully that will stop. I used to cycle continuously for about 4 years, but it has lessened greatly in the last year.
I hope you feel better soon- judy
Posted by holymama on January 8, 2004, at 16:35:03
In reply to Re: Hi I'm the new bipolar here » holymama, posted by judy1 on January 8, 2004, at 13:31:54
Judy, would you be willing to share with me a little of your story about your manic experience / starting a cult? If you would like to e-mail me, it's autumn@heavendesign.com (no, this heavendesign is my father's business name and came about long before my bout of religious mania!). I'm wondering how close to God you felt at that time, if you were religious previously, how religious you are now, etc. I would love to have something to compare my experience to! I've been searching the web for anything to compare; for any information that can help me sort this one out. It's a big one!!
This is the end of the thread.
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