![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by kid47 on March 5, 2004, at 13:30:08
Howdy youuns. Just thinkin about ya. Hope you're OK. Don't post back if your not up to it. Believe me I'll understand.
kid
Posted by noa on March 6, 2004, at 21:18:55
In reply to Shar, posted by kid47 on March 5, 2004, at 13:30:08
Yeah, me too--thinking of you, Shar. Hope you're ok. You're more than OK in my book, but hope you can see that too.
Posted by shar on March 7, 2004, at 4:01:15
In reply to Shar, posted by kid47 on March 5, 2004, at 13:30:08
K--don't recall if I've printed this here before. It must be about time for me to do so, because reading this always puts a smile on my face. Thanks for the good wishes...Thanks to you, too, Noa...Shar
> How to Sing The Blues. A Primer (from Kid47--ASH)
1. Most Blues begin, "Woke up this morning..."
2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you
stick something nasty in the next line like, "I got a good woman, with
the meanest face in town."
3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it.
Then find something that rhymes... sort of: "Got a good woman with the
meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in
town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher, and she weigh 500 pound."
4. The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a
ditch ain't no way out.
5. Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broken down trucks. Blues
don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues
transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft
and state sponsored motor pools ain't even in the running. Walkin' plays
a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.
6. Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet. Adults
sing the Blues. In blues, "adulthood" means being old enough to get the
electric chair if you shoot a man in Chattanooga.
7. Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or any place
in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just
clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis, Detroit and Kansas City are still
the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the blues in any place
that don't get rain.
8. A man with male pattern baldness ain't the blues. A woman with male
pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg 'cause you were skiing is not the
blues. Breaking your leg 'cause a alligator be chompin on it is.
9. You can't have no Blues in a office or a shopping mall. The lighting
is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.
10. Good places for the Blues:
a. highway
b. jailhouse
c. empty bed
d. bottom of a whiskey glass.
Bad places for the Blues:
a. Nordstrom's
b. gallery openings
c. Ivy League institutions
d. golf courses.
11. No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you
happen to be a old ethnic person, and you slept in it.
12. Do you have the right to sing the Blues?
Yes, if:
a. you older than dirt
b. you blind
c. you shot a man in Chattanooga
d. you can't be satisfied.No, if:
a. you have all your teeth
b. you were once blind but now can see
c. the man in Chattanooga lived
d. you have a 401K or trust fund.
13. Blues is not a matter of color. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger
Woods cannot sing the blues. Sonny Liston could. Ugly white people also
got a leg up on the blues.
14. If you ask for water and your darlin' give you gasoline, it's the
Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are:
a. cheap wine
b. whiskey or bourbon
c. muddy water
d. nasty black coffee.
The following are NOT Blues beverages:
a. Perrier
b. Chardonnay
c. Snapple
d. Slim Fast
15. If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues
death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to
die. So are the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a
broken down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a
tennis match or while getting liposuction.
16. Some Blues names for women:
a. Sadie
b. Big Mama
c. Bessie
D. Fat River Dumpling
[Hey! how about Shar??]17. Some Blues names for men:
a. Joe
b. Willie
c. Little Willie
d. Big Willie
18. Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Jennifer, Buffy, Debbie, and
Heather can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in
Chattanooga.
19. Make your own Blues name Starter Kit:
a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.)
b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi,etc.)
c. last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.)
For example: Blind Lime Jefferson, Jakeleg Lemon Johnson or Cripple Kiwi
Fillmore, etc. (Well, maybe not "Kiwi.")
20. And I don't care how tragic your life, if you own a computer, you simply
cannot sing the blues.
Posted by fallsfall on March 7, 2004, at 9:44:30
In reply to Blues a la Kid » kid47, posted by shar on March 7, 2004, at 4:01:15
18. Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Jennifer, Buffy, Debbie, and
Heather can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in
Chattanooga.What a hoot!
Posted by noa on March 7, 2004, at 12:31:50
In reply to Blues a la Kid » kid47, posted by shar on March 7, 2004, at 4:01:15
>Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet.
Hmmmm...
But I have this friend who is a gifted teacher and when her elementary school students were whiny one day about this that and the other thing, she stopped the lesson and taught them how to write their own blues instead of whining. It worked very well for the rest of the year! When someone felt whiny, they could ask to present their blues song/chant to the class and then be done with the kvetching. I think this could go for teens, too, no?
Posted by rainyday on March 8, 2004, at 11:45:02
In reply to Re: Blues a la Kid » shar, posted by noa on March 7, 2004, at 12:31:50
Saddest place to have the blues: on a sunny day in Florida.
Posted by Karen_kay on March 10, 2004, at 7:51:49
In reply to Re: Blues a la Kid, posted by rainyday on March 8, 2004, at 11:45:02
Why would he when such a lady as I am posting to him. Not to mention his mean wife, his measely salary, his kids that take after his wife... Come on kid. Why not sing a pop song instead? Maybe cover a Duran Duran song? I always liked "Rio." Are you still learning to play the banjo for me? If so, not nearly fast enough...
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.