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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by syringachalet on March 10, 2004, at 13:20:44
Have any of you ever felt that you changed so much of your life to either make other people happy or at least get them out of your face that you now often dont know who you really are anymore?
For so many years I was the care giver. The one that was everyones advocate to see that they got whatever health services they needed to at least function and in many cases to have some resemblance of happiness in their lives.Now I am the care receiver and I cant handle it. I know how things should be and because it is either so much energy to fight for my rights or I just cave in and let them do whatever they want just for them to just go away.
I have been on bedrest for the past ten days because of a skin breakdown that I am being blamed for because I didnt stand up to my new caregiver and DEMAND that she lay me down every afternoon for an hour. I have been through some terrible personal care attendants and at least this one shows up and helps me with my bath 3 times a week and cooks me one good hot meal everyday 5 days a week.
I guess I am being remeinded daily what my independence from institutional care is worth.
Just a frustrated PSB wacko.....
Posted by Karen_kay on March 10, 2004, at 22:06:10
In reply to When you have changed yourself so much...., posted by syringachalet on March 10, 2004, at 13:20:44
I'm sorry you aren't feeling well right now. But you must know that demanding what is best for you is the most important thing right now, to get you back to being your best. Sometimes it's hard to tell someone that you need something from them, but since you are the "consumer" in this case, you deserve the best quality you can get. If that means screaming at the top of your lungs, then do it. It's hard, believe me I know. But you deserve to get back to feeling well and don't ever settle for less than being treated like royalty. People sometimes slack at work if they're allowed to. Set proper rules in place and demand that you receive proper attention. Please don't settle for any less than you deserve, and that's happiness... Take care of yourself and darn it SCREAM at that person. If you don't I'll send him/her a nasty email. Will that help? Don't think I won't.
Posted by fallsfall on March 12, 2004, at 8:30:36
In reply to When you have changed yourself so much...., posted by syringachalet on March 10, 2004, at 13:20:44
I'm sorry that you don't have the strength to advocate for yourself in the way that you were clearly successful in advocating for others. I know that that kind of strength is not always available to me in times of illness or stress. It is additionally frustrating to *know* so clearly what should be done - but to be unable to do it for yourself.
Sometimes it is necessary to be one step removed from the situation to be able to successfully advocate. Do you have a support person in your life who can fill the role that you have done in the past for others? Can you find such a support person? That might be easier than fighting each of the battles by yourself.
It is sad when a caregiver's positive qualities have to start with "this one shows up". It is clear to me that you shouldn't be "blamed" for your current problem - unless you *resisted* the prescribed treatment. And it doesn't sound like you *resisted* at all. Are your needs well known and clearly written out (by your doctor?). I'm a big believer in getting things in writing as it is harder for people to "not know" if it is in black and white.
I wish you the best in recovering from your current skin condition and in finding a person who can effectively support you when you don't have the strength to support yourself.
This is the end of the thread.
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