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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rainyday on March 22, 2004, at 15:28:00
My mom has been getting heart stress tests done because of possible (probable) congestive heart failure. She lives in Toronto and I am in Florida. I am tied in knots over being there for her. My brothers, who live locally, NEVER get the full story from her because she "doesn't want to upset them." She goes back for a consult with her GP on Friday and I want so desperately to be a fly on the wall.
My anxiety is understandable - a daughter worried about her mom's health. But the symptoms are so out of whack. I feel like I'm in a life-or-death situation. I know it's my panic setting in. None of the relaxing techniques are kicking in. I breath slow and deep, I forget to breathe, I feel my heart lurch in my chest, I check my blood pressure (normal! at least part of me is!!), and I know it is out of control.
How can I stop my racing mind? How can I speak with my brothers without getting hysterical (like I know I would)? I would really like one of them to go to the consult on Friday, but I get all weepy just thinking of picking up the phone.
rainyday
Posted by kid47 on March 22, 2004, at 19:13:26
In reply to Acute anxiety, posted by rainyday on March 22, 2004, at 15:28:00
You are right. It is absolutely normal to be upset and concerned about the health issues of a loved one. Sometimes when I have felt all weepy I just let it blow. Very often I feel better after. Do you take any meds for anxiety? If not is that something you would consider. I prefer to try and handle my anxiety in other ways. But sometimes, like just recently when my mother was in the hospital, I did need a little extra help. Thank god for Klonopin. I am sure very soon you will be able to gather more information and perspective on your Mom's health and hopefully you'll feel better. My thoughts are with you.
kid
Posted by Poet on March 22, 2004, at 22:49:47
In reply to Acute anxiety, posted by rainyday on March 22, 2004, at 15:28:00
Hi rainyday,
Your have a valid reason for your anxiety. Aren't parents troublesome? I didn't find out my mother had had a heart attack and surgery until a day later. And I live in the same city.
Your mother probably doesn't realize that her effort to not upset the children is upsetting you. Try to gently explain to her that you need to know what is going on. That not being informed is making you worry.
My mother was being secretive to try to protect the children, only we're all grown up, and it took her awhile to realize that it's okay to lean on us.
Take a deep breath, slow down those worries as best you can until you can have a talk with mom. You might offer to talk to her doctor or ask her if one of you brothers could.
I'm wishing you all the best.
Poet
Posted by rainyday on March 23, 2004, at 9:06:06
In reply to Re: Acute anxiety » rainyday, posted by kid47 on March 22, 2004, at 19:13:26
Thanks for your thgouhtful replies. I am on xanax for anxiety. Had been on buspar but it gave me incessant headaches. Also was on 150mg of effexor xl which helped with my bipolar2 but shot my blood pressure up dangeroudsly high. So now I am weaning s-l-o-w-l-y off that and on to wellbutrin. Lots of medication juggling which I'm sure is not helping.
It was so weird yesterday. ALl the way home I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. My mind was racing about calling my brothers, calling my mom, but I couldn't pick up the phone without bawling. As soon as I got inside my house, the anxiety disappeared, but I still could not bring myself to call anyone.
We are a very uncommunicative family and I am (naturally) the "sensitive" one, prone to emotional outbursts not acceptable in our uptight upbringing.
Today I am not as anxious, but am in a deep dark funk. I feel like my illness colours everything I see and do. I am at work and losing the struggle not to cry. It's hard even to write this.
I have calls in to both my p-doc for the meds and my T for the mess I'm in.
Posted by rainee on March 23, 2004, at 10:30:02
In reply to Re: Acute anxiety » kid47, posted by rainyday on March 23, 2004, at 9:06:06
Take this from someone that has lost her mother when I was 18. I held everything in coming from an uptight family. All that fear is coming from the child within let her cry let her know it's ok to be scared but your there to hold her no matter what. She needs you to let her out. Your anxiety is coming from forcing it back. be gentle with yourself.. remember your loved.
Rainee
Posted by rainyday on March 24, 2004, at 12:38:31
In reply to Re: Acute anxiety, posted by rainee on March 23, 2004, at 10:30:02
> Take this from someone that has lost her mother when I was 18. I held everything in coming from an uptight family. All that fear is coming from the child within let her cry let her know it's ok to be scared but your there to hold her no matter what. She needs you to let her out. Your anxiety is coming from forcing it back. be gentle with yourself.. remember your loved.
>
> RaineeAll these wonderful messages make me cry all the harder. To be loved, unconditionally, by those whom I do not even know, is such a precious gift I feel SO unworthy of. Yesterday my p-doc faxed a Get Out of Jail (work) note, so I sobbed all the way home. I can drive quite conscienciously thru my tears, I know from experience. Was pretty hysterical all evening. Called in sick this morning, was wished well by all which had me bawling again. When I was all calmed done, I had the strangest sensation come over me. I felt exactly as I used to when I would stay home from school: fragile, not exactly sick, but woozy and prone to being a cry baby. I finally called my mom. For all I denigrate her and say she was not a maternal mother, I probably gave her a migraine .
I see my T this evening and my p-doc on Tuesday. I just hope the glue holds until then.
Thank you all again, for all your words of support. They mean the world to my broken soul.
rainyday
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