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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by octopusprime on April 9, 2004, at 17:59:26
ok i'm having gawky teenage issues well into adulthood.
acne - never went away!!! how come i still get zits! no fair!
spring fever - no fair! nothing like getting a jolt of hormones to make me all weird and giggly around available males!!! (especially when they are people that are important to me in other ways ...)
hair - how come i can never get it to look right? at some point i am just going to cave and walk around with it right over my face and i will look like cousin it.
nervousness and stage fright - how come i can never get my hands to make the music i want when the spotlight is on me? when i'm happily in the background and not over-thinking it i can do it ... but freeze and panic ... deer in the headlights ...
fortunately i got over my "nobody likes me" phase, but that was just last year. i am too old for teenage angst! somebody please tell me i'll grow out of it when i'm 30 or 40 or something!
ack!
Posted by deirdrehbrt on April 9, 2004, at 18:47:46
In reply to when do you stop feeling like a gawky teenager?, posted by octopusprime on April 9, 2004, at 17:59:26
Sorry hon, it doesn't ever go completely away. There are ways to help though.
You discovered the 'nobody likes me' phase cure, congratulations!
I can maybe help with the stage fright a little bit. I still remember my first audition... I couldn't feel my hands. That was awful. What I did then, was to go to as many auditions as I could. A large part of getting over the fright is focus. Fall into your music. Let it envelop you. If you can, practice in front of people. Do it with lights on you. Simulate as much as you can, your performance while practicing. Lastly, remember that other musicians are far more likely to be critical of your work than audiences. If you are doing well in front of them, the audience will see you as fantastic.Acne is something best discussed with your physician or dermatologist. I saw something on one of those infomercials that supposedly worked wonders, but I don't remember what the name is.
Spring fever.... enjoy!
That's all the help I can offer. Good luck.
Posted by pegasus on April 9, 2004, at 19:35:50
In reply to when do you stop feeling like a gawky teenager?, posted by octopusprime on April 9, 2004, at 17:59:26
Oh, hon, I feel your pain. Dee is right that certain aspects of it don't go away entirely - or at least they didn't for me. I think that's because they aren't about being a teenager. I've never properly grown into my body, for example. Oh, I've *grown*, but still don't have the kind of physical comfort I see in some other people. But, the good news is that I'm getting a lot closer to being ok with feeling awkward. Does that make sense?
And then, certain aspects you don't want to have go away. I mean, the spring fever thing is not all bad, right? It feels kind of up, I think. If you couldn't get that giggly feeling, you'd miss it, wouldn't you? Ok, yeah, at times it's inconvenient, but then so are a lot of good things.
Now, acne, I don't know about. I hope it'll go away on it's own for you. For me, the decline was pretty gradual, and I still get zits, but not frequently. Of course, I never had it really bad, like some folks do, but there has been a trend toward less acne with age. I hope the same for you!
- p
Posted by karen_kay on April 9, 2004, at 19:52:20
In reply to when do you stop feeling like a gawky teenager?, posted by octopusprime on April 9, 2004, at 17:59:26
well, i have to disagree with the 'gawky' word. nothing about your posts suggests in any way, shape or form that you are 'gawky'.
acne: concealer, concealer, concealer! and it's no big deal. really. people will focus more on your beautiful eyes and the wonderful words that come out of your mouth than those blasted zits any day dear.
spirng fever: now, every man loves a woman who giggles. and smiles. isn't it lovely? enjoy it! that's not being a 'teenager,' that's being human!
hair: i have yet to figure that one out. when i get my hair done, i tell the lovely lady 'spray it and spray it well. i'm not washing this for days, as i know it will never look this good again.' i've finally been able to manage my unruly hair. a curling brush and hair dryer. yes, it's a real pain, but it works wonders. ask your stylist how to do your hair. or, better yet, bask in the knowledge that your hair doesn't make you. walk tall knowing that even though you don't have that 'perfect hair' you always know what's going on (perhaps that isn't true, but if you say it enough, you begin to believe it!!!)
you know, i didn't brush my hair for years. only recently, my stylist brought it to my attention that if i brushed my hair it would look nice. i tried it. it worked. i don't feel any better now that i brush my hair. and i don't feel that i look any better either. in fact, i think i felt lovelier with unbrushed hair. it was my sort of 'trademark'.....hmmmm, prehaps i'll start that again? it was rather a cute look on me. hair is just hair dear. doesn't make a woman. i think you are beautiful without having your hair just right..stage fright: never had it. glad too. i can talk and talk without being nervous. thank goodness. but, i agree with dee (was it??) that practice makes perfect. get out there and do it. if you make a mistake (as everyone does) so what. you learned. maybe no one noticed... most likely they made the same mistake too. perfect opportunity to get tips on how to improve and build confidence as well. you'll be a star darling.
i can't say you'll grow out of it by 30 or 40, as i'm only 24. i still suffer with 'child' issues. someone tell me i'll grow out of that.. then perhaps i'll start getting the teenage ones? i want a mommy and daddy. i want someone to take care of me. i want to go home. wahhhhhhh! (sorry, no one comment, just griping :)
Posted by octopusprime on April 9, 2004, at 22:12:43
In reply to Re: when do you stop feeling like a gawky teenager?, posted by deirdrehbrt on April 9, 2004, at 18:47:46
ok ... so make-up, hair cut, hair dryers ... oh my! did i mention that i have nothing to wear??? and i look fat in everything! i need a whole new wardrobe ... <sigh, mope>
the acne is not bad, i think it is hormonal, and will pass when i hit menopause. but i don't want to wait that long to grow up, darn it! <sulk>
that's it i'm going to my room to protest until mom buys me a new pair of jeans. ones that don't make me look fat!!!!
boy this is therapeutic. i think my angry teen has some work to do ...
the spring fever is not a bad thing but it feels very weird - i don't want to eat and i'm starting to sleep funny ... like i have perma-butterflies ... i think this is a sign of being alive ... but i am up and down and all around and so confused ... i swear grown-ups must be more together than i am!!
Posted by deirdrehbrt on April 10, 2004, at 0:22:55
In reply to Re: ladies, thank you, posted by octopusprime on April 9, 2004, at 22:12:43
Naw...
Grown-ups aren't more together at all. I'll share a lesson from my godfather.
Uncle Fowler was a carpenter. He was doing some work in my parent's house, and I asked him how he knew exactly how to cut each and every piece of wood. He told me that he didn't. The carpenters who were new to the trade had to measure and measure and measure to make sure they didn't make a mistake. The experienced ones could afford to be a bit off because if they made a mistake, they knew how to fix it.
So.... how does the proverb fit into real life. When we're young, our mistakes can be devastating. One failed romance shatters our world to the core. Finding out we dressed wrong for an occasion leaves us a quivering mass in the middle of an ever growing pile of tears.
When we get older, we start to learn that none of these things will kill us. We'll survive, no matter how it feels. If we make a mistake, we learn that posture can fix almost anything. What it can't fix, it can at least subdue a bit. Say you wear the wrong thing, if you're slinking away to the corners you'll be met with lots of people wondering what's wrong. Poised though, you might say that you misunderstood how people would be dressed, and what you have on is what you've got. Let's party, or whatever. Ok, a prom gown to a pool party might be hard to cover, but then again, some fabric moves quite nicely in water, and when did you plan to wear it again anyway? Nope.... older folks continue to do strange things anyway, they just flow with them better.
Ok..... no more preaching.
Dee.
This is the end of the thread.
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