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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by fraulein1456 on May 10, 2004, at 19:09:59
What do you get when you play a country song backwards?
(You get your dog back, your house back, your truck back ....)
Posted by Fallen4MyT on May 10, 2004, at 19:43:43
In reply to Jokes, posted by fraulein1456 on May 10, 2004, at 19:09:59
No offense to men ok :) tis a joke
What's the difference between a tomato and your husband?
The tomato is not a vegetable
Posted by spoc on May 10, 2004, at 19:59:23
In reply to Re: Jokes, posted by Fallen4MyT on May 10, 2004, at 19:43:43
> No offense to men ok :) tis a joke
>
> What's the difference between a tomato and your husband?
> The tomato is not a vegetable>------
No offense to us (women) ok? : )Why do they call it PMS?
Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on May 10, 2004, at 20:12:49
In reply to Re: Jokes, posted by spoc on May 10, 2004, at 19:59:23
LOL O.K no offense to blondes I am one myself...CUTE THREAD FRAU
Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.> > No offense to men ok :) tis a joke
> >
> > What's the difference between a tomato and your husband?
> > The tomato is not a vegetable>
>
> ------
> No offense to us (women) ok? : )
>
> Why do they call it PMS?
>
> Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
>
>
Posted by fraulein1456 on May 10, 2004, at 21:02:03
In reply to Jokes, posted by fraulein1456 on May 10, 2004, at 19:09:59
Some of these are good...my parents are WOOFYS
Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary:
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles
PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm and people’s heads pop-up over the walls to see what’s going on.
MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.
STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out.. .. and whiney.
SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one’s workplace. (Who me?)
IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The OJ trials were a prime example.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
ADMINISPHERE: The organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
404: Someone who’s clueless. From the World Wide Web error message “404 Not Found,” meaning that the requested document could not be located.
GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions
OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a BIG mistake. . . after hitting “enter”.
WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks
Posted by Fallen4MyT on May 10, 2004, at 21:10:29
In reply to Re: Jokes, posted by fraulein1456 on May 10, 2004, at 21:02:03
lmao I liked these two the most
>>ASSMOSIS:
MOUSE POTATO>>
Posted by finelinebob on May 10, 2004, at 21:55:28
In reply to Re: Jokes » fraulein1456, posted by Fallen4MyT on May 10, 2004, at 21:10:29
You DO know why we have an oil shortage and prices are going through the roof, don't you?
Nobody bothered to check the oil: All our oil is in Alaska, Texas, Oklahoma and California, and all our dipsticks are in Washington DC.
Posted by fraulein1456 on May 10, 2004, at 22:35:08
In reply to Re: Jokes, posted by finelinebob on May 10, 2004, at 21:55:28
Tee Hee that's a good one!!!
Posted by bobby on May 11, 2004, at 7:50:33
In reply to Jokes, posted by fraulein1456 on May 10, 2004, at 19:09:59
a woman with PMS and a terrorist--you can negotiate with the terrorist.
Posted by finelinebob on May 11, 2004, at 13:19:45
In reply to Jokes, posted by fraulein1456 on May 10, 2004, at 19:09:59
Well, not jokes, but fortune cookies. Of course, any TRUE fortune cookie still makes sense if you add those two magic words to the end: "in bed."
Two I recently received:
Versatility is one of your outstanding traits...
An outstanding opportunity will soon present itself to you...flb
ps. please! no reminders about how this is the Jokes thread and how those fortunes may be applicable to me!! ;^)
Posted by TexasChic on May 11, 2004, at 14:16:18
In reply to Re: Jokes, posted by finelinebob on May 11, 2004, at 13:19:45
Of course you know, you have to follow all fortunes with the words "in bed".
Versatility is one of your outstanding traits...in bed
An outstanding opportunity will soon present itself to you...in bed
Even the dullest fortunes take on an entirely different meaning. :-)
I can't remember where I learned that, but its a must for everyone at the table when I eat Chinese food.
Posted by Dr. Bob on May 14, 2004, at 23:41:12
In reply to What's the difference between..., posted by bobby on May 11, 2004, at 7:50:33
> What's the difference between...
> a woman with PMS and a terrorist--you can negotiate with the terrorist.Jokes are fine, but please don't post any that could lead others to feel put down. Thanks,
Bob
This is the end of the thread.
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