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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Angela2 on May 25, 2004, at 17:04:57
I really need psycho Babble's support right now. Today I did a very irresponsible thing. I skipped my math class to go to the health center because I was tired. I feel very guilty about it, like what is wrong with me? My mom says I need to learn to prioritize and that I should just deal with something like that like everyone else does. When it comes to school though, I feel aimless and anxious. I feel like I'd rather be doing something else. And I feel very nervous socially. I would very much like to get over these feelings and the only possible way I think I can do this is take my medicine, grit down, and get through it. I don't know why I can't just handle it like the rest of the population does, but I really want to try to get through the next 5 weeks. Please give me your support. That is all I want.
Angela
Posted by Sebastian on May 25, 2004, at 19:25:18
In reply to Major school Anxieties--Help Me, posted by Angela2 on May 25, 2004, at 17:04:57
Well I just graduated college, one grade short of perfect. what I did was focus on my medicine and not care what people thought of me. All the time I was realy focusing on school. Look at the other people and say, who cares what they think of me, and is this person helping my grades, all me, me, me, me. Didn't care how stupid I looked, told everyone I was mentaly ill, people who wanted to know anyways. Talk about the school work, focus on it, just think how good you meds make you feel.
Do you drink coffee, or caffinated soda. That and ciggarretts got me through school. Caffine might wake you up and motivate you. They also have meds that do that too.
Ivan
Posted by gardenergirl on May 26, 2004, at 8:44:30
In reply to Re: Major school Anxieties--Help » Angela2, posted by Sebastian on May 25, 2004, at 19:25:18
Angela2,
I'm sorry you are struggling right now. I work in the pscych. services center at my school. It sounds to me like what you are going through is actually fairly common. Do you have a counseling center at school? It can be a big help to go in and just talk to someone. They can help you with the anxiety. I'm glad you are on meds if they are helping. Talking to a counselor often is a good addition to med therapy. And it doesn't take much time.If it's available, I hope you will consider giving it a try. If it's not for you, that's okay. Not everyone likes it. But I have worked with a number of clients describing just what you are talking about.
Good luck and hang in there. Post if it helps, too!
gg
Posted by Noa on May 26, 2004, at 8:55:53
In reply to Major school Anxieties--Help Me, posted by Angela2 on May 25, 2004, at 17:04:57
What a pain anxiety can be! Now you're anxious *about* your anxiety, too. Familiar territory to me, as well, Angela.
Do you feel your medications work adequately?
Another thing to think about is adding some counseling to the mix. For support and to learn techniques to calm yourself when the anxiety flares up.
I know, for me, if my anxiety gets triggered, it helps to do some cognitive and body-focused anxiety reduction techniques. If I can't calm myself, my ability to deal with the stressor in a good problem-solving way is impaired, and all I want to do is escape from the scene!
Also, learning to identify my triggers has allowed me to learn to prevent the anxiety from flaring up too much in the first place--by predicting the trigger and using the calming techniques.Therapy has also helped me tune into some of the more subtle, less obvious triggers and calm myself before the anxiety flares up.
Posted by TexasChic on May 26, 2004, at 13:32:53
In reply to Major school Anxieties--Help Me, posted by Angela2 on May 25, 2004, at 17:04:57
Don't beat yourself up for skipping one class. You are in school and that's a huge deal. I have yet to be able to handle that. I've tried, but it does get overwhelming. Just don't be so hard on yourself, okay? If you felt you needed time to yourself, there was probably a reason. You probably needed that break to get you through the rest of it. Do what's right for you. *That's* being responsible.
Posted by Angela2 on May 26, 2004, at 16:18:06
In reply to Re: Major school Anxieties--Help Me, posted by TexasChic on May 26, 2004, at 13:32:53
Thank you Texaschick. I really appreciate those words. I think it is a good idea too.
Today we had a math test and there were things on it I didn't know because I missed class yesterday. Also, I found out that we handed in homework on Monday which I did not know about for some reason and the whole time I was talking to the teacher about it I was freaking out, feeling threatened and couldn't concentrate. He is not a mean person though. He said he would email me the problems we had to do and he hasn't emailed me yet so I am freaking out about that.
I plan to stay in these 2 classes (child psych and statistics) until the end. I am going to be strong.
Angela
Posted by Angela2 on May 27, 2004, at 7:14:55
In reply to Re: Major school Anxieties--Help Me » TexasChic, posted by Angela2 on May 26, 2004, at 16:18:06
I am having the worst day of my life. I told my mom that I wanted to quit school last night. She ended up crying, and we emergency called my doctor. She told me not to make any decisions about it when I was upset and to go to sleep and maybe I'd feel refreshed in the morning.
My mom kept begging me to go to class today in the car, but I just can't bring myself to go feeling like this. She is going to be so mad when she finds out. And I will feel so bad.
A million things are running through my head. And I don't know whats going to happen.
Angela
Posted by TexasChic on May 27, 2004, at 8:57:59
In reply to I didn't go to class, posted by Angela2 on May 27, 2004, at 7:14:55
Your mom is right about not making any rash decisions yet. You may just need a little time off. I'm not saying to disregard your feelings. You feel like this for a reason. You just have to figure out what it is.
I'm sure your teachers will let you makeup work if you talk to them. It sounds like you're a good student, and they usually work with someone if they think they can make it.
Hang in there Angela. I know this is rough, but even if you had to drop out this semester it wouldn't be the end of the world. Try to put less importance on the school and more on you. Decide whether you would feel better to drop the classes now and make them up later, or to push through and then take some time for yourself. Talk it out with your therapist. I am confident you will make it through this.
Posted by Angela2 on May 27, 2004, at 10:31:48
In reply to Re: I didn't go to class, posted by TexasChic on May 27, 2004, at 8:57:59
Sometimes I think that I want to drop out of school and not just take the time off. I slightly have an avoidant personality. The people in my life tell me that its not going to be "better" anywhere else. I can't bring myself to talk to my teacher about the difficulties I am having in class though. I think it would be too embarrassing. I know that I would not be happier somewhere else, and that there are benefits to going to class and working on my degree, but I want out of this school NOW! That is how I feel. I have an appointment with my doctor and my mom today to talk about it. I know what she's going to say: she's going to ask if I can make up the work later. My mom is going to be completely devastated because she really wants me to go to get a college degree. She is going to do everything she can to keep me there. She thinKS i am giving up if I don't go to school. My mom is the one who wants me in school. But The truth is that I have a hard time doing the things that I want to do, like bible study and art class. I couldn't even bring myself to go to bible study last week even though I really wanted to go. I know this is something I'm going to be dealing with continually. All I can hope is that my mom will not hold a grudge against me for dropping out. This morning she called me selfish for no good reason except that I have a hard time getting out of bed and she wakes me up each morning. She has never called me selfish or any other name because of it before though.
I don't know whats going to happen...
I'll let you know how it goes.
Posted by TexasChic on May 27, 2004, at 11:18:24
In reply to Re: I didn't go to class » TexasChic, posted by Angela2 on May 27, 2004, at 10:31:48
A degree *is* important. But your well being is more important. If this is putting you beyond you stress level, then something needs to change.
It sounds as if you don't have any alternative in mind to your current situation. If you can think of something that your mom would agree to, like maybe taking a semester off and just working and studying the bible while you work on yourself, or maybe only taking one class a semester for a year, then you could make a decision without feeling you are 'giving up'. Things aren't as black and white as they seem. There is always a solution, we just don't always see it at first. I'll be thinking about you and hoping it turns out for the best.
Posted by octopusprime on May 27, 2004, at 11:40:15
In reply to Re: I didn't go to class » TexasChic, posted by Angela2 on May 27, 2004, at 10:31:48
hi angela:
about this: "I can't bring myself to talk to my teacher about the difficulties I am having in class though. I think it would be too embarrassing."
if i may tell you a story:
my grandmother was very ill right before my final exams. i was so upset, crying and shaking, the night before my final. i couldn't write it, i knew i couldn't. i would fail. i wanted to be home with my family. i had to go.i went up to talk to my professor and he was super understanding. i was in tears in front of him and five or ten of my classmates waiting for his help the day of the final. one classmate was so sweet, she took me to the washroom to help clean me up. i was able to postpone my final exam. as it turned out i was not able to make it home before my grandmother passed away. but at least i was there for my family, and i would have been away from them for a few days because of a huge blizzard (just made it home before the snow started).
so it was embarrassing but i felt supported and it was worth it. i know when i was just depressed and skipping class i just muddled through, but i don't recommend that. my transcript looks like swiss cheese - it's obvious which terms i was brutally depressed and just not even trying any more. i was lucky enough not to fail any classes, but i did really poorly a few terms and i wish i had the courage to talk to people sooner (that last incident was in my final year of school)
i agree with texaschic about not making any decisions quickly. how long have you been thinking about dropping out? are you sure you will feel the same way 4-6 months from now? what happens if you adjust your meds and start feeling a bit better?
good luck angela.
Posted by Angela2 on May 27, 2004, at 16:56:46
In reply to Re: I didn't go to class » Angela2, posted by octopusprime on May 27, 2004, at 11:40:15
I went to my therapist's today with my mom. She (my therapist) said that I would have more options available to me if I stuck it out for the next 4 weeks. She also said not doing it would be a self destructive decision. She also said that I need to learn that I can't always have what I want when I want. (I always do what I want when I want, eep!). So with these reasons given to me, I decided to stay in school for now. I am going to take it one day at a time. I have also talked to my mom about letting me see her twice a week until classes are over. I told her I would use my paycheck to pay for it. I really feel like I need to be seeing her a lot for support if I'm going to be doing this.
Octopusprime, I love your anecdote. I will think of it frequently. Thank you so much.
Posted by Noa on May 28, 2004, at 6:14:19
In reply to I decided to stay in school, posted by Angela2 on May 27, 2004, at 16:56:46
WOW, Angela! Good for you. Sounds like you have a lot of insight about yourself.
And courage to stay with school despite the challenges. Good for you for advocating for yourself to get more support to get through school.
Posted by gardenergirl on May 29, 2004, at 1:46:38
In reply to Re: Courageous Angela » Angela2, posted by Noa on May 28, 2004, at 6:14:19
That's great, Angela. I guessed I missed somewhere that you are already seeing a T. I'm glad it helps.
Gosh, school is so draining. Every single time I have been in school, including high school (and I'm working on school number 4 now), I have become depressed. There is a definite link for me between school and depression. And it gets worse the closer I get to graduation and also near the end of semesters. My T and I have been working on this, but I still don't think I understand the connection well enough yet.
Good luck to you! I bet you are counting the weeks and days. They probably will go fast, and then I hope you get the summer free.
Take care,
gg
Posted by TexasChic on June 2, 2004, at 8:55:32
In reply to I decided to stay in school, posted by Angela2 on May 27, 2004, at 16:56:46
Yea Angela2! I'm glad you worked it out. And I'm glad you took it upon yourself to start seeing your T more. That's taking care of yourself. Good for you!
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