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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by deirdrehbrt on June 18, 2004, at 20:00:43
It starts by finding a drowning tourist off the back of a ship, and throwing them a life preserver. As soon as it's within reach, you pull it back. Whoever does this to the drowning the most times before they go under for the last time wins.
The great part about this sport, is that you don't need a drowning tourist, or even a ship. It can be a police officer, and you don't allow him to have a loaded gun on monday, wednesday, and friday. Better yet, he's not allowed to know if it's loaded or not.
I don't think I posted this, but the other day, I got a call from a friend. I couldn't talk right then, so we arranged to call the next day.
A while later, I checked my messages. I heard "You F**** ng B**ch, You Hung UP on me! Then she's crying and sobbing, and cussing more."
I love this woman. I listened to the message again, trying to believe that this didn't happen. It was the same thing. I erased the message. I had so badly hurt someone that I love.
I had such a hard time sleeping. I was terrified and hurt. I wanted to cut. I wanted to take pills.
The next day, terrified, I called her. I asked what I had done? I thought I had waited long enough before I hung up. She told me that she hadn't left such a message, that she loves me, and she knows I'm fragile and that she wouldn't leave such a message. She doesn't even talk like that.
For a few moments, I felt better. Then I realized that if she hadn't left that message, then maybe someone else did. Forgetting that I erased the message, I listen to the messages again. It was still there, except that it wasn't the message I had heard the previous day. This time, it was a crank call, someone having sex kind of call.
So, I'm feeling bad again, and scared, terrified again. This time, though, it's because I realized that I had completely lost touch with reality. I was trying to get in touch with my case manager. Finally she called, and we had set up an appointment and came by. She talked about having me see a psychiatrist instead of the psychiatric nurse practicioner. This seemed good to me. A life-preserver was thrown. More appointments were set up with my case manager for Friday, and the following Monday.
I saw my therapist, and she seemed a bit concerned but I was going to see a psychiatrist. I had an appointment with my daughters therapist. I told her what had happened, and she asked my daughter if I seemed to do inappropriate things in different situations. She said that maybe my daughter could help me with reality testing sometimes.
The next day, I was still feeling scared, and the appointment with the psychiatrist hadn't been officially set up yet, so I called the agency I work with, and asked them if they could set it up fairly soon.
I got a call back, and it was setup for today, the 17th. Another life preserver. Last night, I set two alarms because I haven't been sleeping well, and I didn't want to miss my appointment.
So, this morning, my alarms go off. Just as I'm ready to get out of bed, my phone rings. It's my case manager reminding me that there had to be a meeting first between the psychiatrist nurse practicioner, the case manager, the case manager's supervisor, and the new psychiatrist. I must have forgotten about that, didn't remember it. Anyway, the meeting hadn't taken place yet, and I couldn't see the psychiatrist. Oh, yeah, and I couldn't see her this afternoon because she had to work in her office today. Ok.... life preservers yanked.
I feel like crap. I have a headache. Sometimes I feel like I'm too tired to try to keep my head above the water anymore. I want to cry. I want to sleep. I Feel sick, and don't want to eat. I want to scream. I am really tired of being sick. I feel like I whine so much, and everyone is getting tired of it. I miss having good insurance that didn't leave me to the devices of half-wit local agencies that don't have enough money to do their job right.
God, I'm tired.
Posted by fallsfall on June 18, 2004, at 23:58:59
In reply to Someone's invented a whole new sport, posted by deirdrehbrt on June 18, 2004, at 20:00:43
Dee,
The agency is trying to give you experience with frustration so that you will have plenty of experience tolerating it. It's getting pretty hard to reframe things from them in a positive light...
YOU didn't ask to see the psychiatrist - that was suggested by your case manager. But she doesn't call you back, so when you started being scared and wanting to get in to see the psychiatrist sooner, you went to talk to your case manager's boss. You would think that the boss would know about meetings that have to be held before appointments can be made. So why did she make the appointment for you for today? Or maybe boss thought that you should see Pdoc even before this other meeting because you need to see Pdoc soon? Maybe she forgot to tell case manager that the transition meeting could be held after you see Pdoc?
You are NOT asking too much to want your professionals to recommend appropriate things, follow up on them, call when they are supposed to call. Since you are not getting this from them, you really need to let them know that this is becoming a problem for you. One of your jobs as a patient is to make people aware of when they aren't doing what they told you that they would do. When the agency or particular employees are dropping important balls, you need to speak up. I know it is uncomfortable to do so, but these little "errors" of theirs are endangering your mental health.
Now, your case manager is working in her office, so she can't see you? Don't you live less than a mile from her office? Why can't you see her there?
THEY ASKED you if you wanted to see your case manager more often, and encouraged you to agree. So now you have agreed and you see her less than you did in the past - something is wrong with this picture.
I think it is time for some assertiveness training. Then you will be able to whip them into shape.
They are not working appropriately nor professionally. You have every right to be upset and angry. Now it is time to direct that anger at them.
(((((Dee)))))
I'm sorry that the people who you are counting on to help you can't figure out how to do their jobs.
Posted by gardenergirl on June 19, 2004, at 11:22:19
In reply to Re: Someone's invented a whole new sport » deirdrehbrt, posted by fallsfall on June 18, 2004, at 23:58:59
Dee,
What a mess. It's so frustrating when people drop the ball on the job. I don't think the realize at all how their actions (or inactions)affect someone's life. I'm sorry this happened.Hang in there. I'm thinking of you.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on June 21, 2004, at 0:24:57
In reply to Re: Someone's invented a whole new sport, posted by gardenergirl on June 19, 2004, at 11:22:19
This is the end of the thread.
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