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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on June 19, 2004, at 13:54:52
And it really saddens me. I believe a friend mistook my silence for lack of caring, when the truth is that I haven't been returning emails any better than I've been chatting, posting, or anything else.
Posted by Dinah on June 19, 2004, at 13:57:57
In reply to I have an email that was returned to me, posted by Dinah on June 19, 2004, at 13:54:52
I haven't been on Open much, I haven't been posting here much, I haven't been on IM much, and I've been horrendously rude in not returning emails to people I care very much about.
Posted by gabbix2 on June 19, 2004, at 14:12:25
In reply to Re: I'm sure many could confirm my rudeness, posted by Dinah on June 19, 2004, at 13:57:57
That's what I think.. when you are unfailingly polite in returning e-mails and then miss once
people can get really miffed. It's sad really, all it shows is that you've been a good friend all along and they've grown to expect instant replies.You see if you're erratic like I am, and always take a while to get back to people, then rarely does anyone get upset : 0
I'm sorry you feel bad about it, but honestly that's how I look at it Dinah. I think others must see it that way too. (((Dinah)))
Posted by SebastianMentalmouth on June 19, 2004, at 14:39:34
In reply to Re: I think it confirms only politeness, posted by gabbix2 on June 19, 2004, at 14:12:25
that friend sounds like some kinda freakazoid. he probably don't mean nothing sweetie pie. sounds like some kinda weird obbsessional phobicry or something. Tell him about this place. maybe he can get some help
Posted by Aphrodite on June 19, 2004, at 15:32:01
In reply to I have an email that was returned to me, posted by Dinah on June 19, 2004, at 13:54:52
Please don't be hard on yourself. When you are sometimes absent, like we all are, I just worry about you. Personally, I feel your concern for me even when you are silent. Some people internalize their therapists, some internalize their parents -- I guess I've internalized my Dinah :)
Posted by Dinah on June 19, 2004, at 15:44:19
In reply to Re: I think it confirms only politeness, posted by SebastianMentalmouth on June 19, 2004, at 14:39:34
No, no! This is a delightful person and I certainly have no wish to cause this person any pain. I feel that I have done so, and I regret it.
Posted by Dinah on June 19, 2004, at 15:44:47
In reply to Re: I think it confirms only politeness, posted by gabbix2 on June 19, 2004, at 14:12:25
Posted by Dinah on June 19, 2004, at 15:45:31
In reply to Re: I have an email that was returned to me » Dinah, posted by Aphrodite on June 19, 2004, at 15:32:01
Oh, I am honored. :)
I hope to be around more soon. Things are a bit crazy around here.
Posted by Aphrodite on June 19, 2004, at 15:59:37
In reply to Re: I have an email that was returned to me » Aphrodite, posted by Dinah on June 19, 2004, at 15:45:31
Posted by Dinah on June 19, 2004, at 19:35:03
In reply to I have an email that was returned to me, posted by Dinah on June 19, 2004, at 13:54:52
Give it time?
Posted by Dinah on June 20, 2004, at 8:19:07
In reply to It's hard to know what to do..., posted by Dinah on June 19, 2004, at 19:35:03
I've done what I can do. Can't do any more. My door is always open to someone I consider a friend.
Posted by spoc on June 20, 2004, at 11:56:46
In reply to Re: Answering my own question, posted by Dinah on June 20, 2004, at 8:19:07
I don't know if intercepted spam is returned to sender, or just torched by the ISP's or software program's spam filtering system. But just in case, I wanted to say that my own ISP's auto filter grabs many wrong things. Sometimes it is just plain inexplicably wrong, and other times it was based on a word having been used that I had custom-entered myself as a spam flag (e.g., drug names I entered due to online pharmacy spam).
Have you ever had this happen: you see an email in your box stating that it is being returned to you as "undeliverable," but you look at the addressee and see that you never ever sent that thing at all. This is spammers including our own email addresses in their *sender* info (GRRR!). And when a piece of their spam gets turned away, ostensibly due to a bad address but who knows, maybe also due to a spam filter, *we* get a copy of the failure notice.
That is what makes me think it's at least possible that "spam" (correctly or incorrectly defined) is bounced back to the sender.
My ISP has a configuration option so that everything intercepted as spam can be saved in a folder temporarily, so that you can at least glance at it if you remember before it drops off. I indeed see a good number of personal emails in there, often for no identifiable reason, and retrieve them.
Maybe someone will know the answer as to whether "spam" bounces back to the sender or not; or we could do an experiment if you like. I could turn off my spam-detaining folder, and we could see what happens to an email if you send one purposely containing some of my designated spam words. I don't know if all programs process intercepted spam in the same way, but let me know if you want to try that.
Posted by Dinah on June 20, 2004, at 13:18:05
In reply to Re: Could it be a spam filter? » Dinah, posted by spoc on June 20, 2004, at 11:56:46
I'm pretty sure that isn't the case in this instance, but it is interesting information. One day I'll post about the flood of fascinating emails I get from my ISP filtering out emails with the Netsky virus, and one or two telling me my outgoing mail (that I of course didn't send) had it.
Posted by gardenergirl on June 20, 2004, at 13:30:25
In reply to Re: Could it be a spam filter? » spoc, posted by Dinah on June 20, 2004, at 13:18:05
Dinah,
It sounds to me like you have done what you can. I hope you and your friend can work through the hurt and get back to the friendship.
gg
Posted by Dinah on June 20, 2004, at 14:03:46
In reply to Re: Could it be a spam filter?, posted by gardenergirl on June 20, 2004, at 13:30:25
I hate misunderstandings.
It does, however, seem to have gotten me back to the computer. :)
Posted by All Done on June 22, 2004, at 1:08:08
In reply to Re: I hope so too., posted by Dinah on June 20, 2004, at 14:03:46
> I hate misunderstandings.
>
> It does, however, seem to have gotten me back to the computer. :)Dinah,
I'm glad to see you back more and I really hope you are able to get this cleared up with your friend. You are so thoughtful and kind to all of us. I can only imagine that you get a bit swamped with e-mails (from Babbleland alone). Hopefully, your friend will understand it was not your intention to ignore the e-mail.
Take care,
Laurie
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