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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by jay on July 10, 2004, at 13:30:32
One of my fav Alanis Morrissette songs....
This Grudge
Fourteen years
thirty minutes
fifteen seconds I've
held this grudgeEleven songs
four full journals
thoughts of punishment
I've expendedNot in contact
not a letter
such communication
telepathic
you've been vilified
used as fodder
you deserve a piece
of every recordBut who's it hurting now?
Who's the one that's stuck?
Who's it torturing now
with an antique knot in her stomach?I want to be big and let go
of this grudge that's grown old
all this time I've not known
how to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved
clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive for the both of usLike an abandoned house
dusty covered
furniture
still intact
If I visit it now
will I simply re-live it
somehow gratuitousBut who's still aching now?
Who's tired of her own voice?
Who is it weighing down
With no gift from time of said healingI want to be big and let go
of this grudge that's grown old
all this time I've not known
how to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved
clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive for the both of usMaybe as I cut the cord
veils will lift from my eyes
Maybe as I lay this to rest
dead weight off my shoulders will riseHere I sit
much determined
ever ill-equipped
to draw this curtain
how this has entertained
validated
and has served me well
ever the victimBut who's done whining now?
Who's ready to put down
this load I've carried longer than I had cared to rememberI want to be big and let go
of this grudge that's grown old
For the life of me I've not known
how to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved
clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive for the both of us.
Posted by justyourlaugh on July 10, 2004, at 14:08:48
In reply to This Grudge..., posted by jay on July 10, 2004, at 13:30:32
i wish i could let it go too..
but it hangs around me like a shadow.
if i resovle
will i be empty?
Posted by karen_kay on July 10, 2004, at 14:14:06
In reply to Re: This Grudge... » jay, posted by justyourlaugh on July 10, 2004, at 14:08:48
your words read like poetry..
do you do this on purpose? or does it come naturally to you dear? i love to read your posts, do you know this?do you think if you let a grudge go, you will be empty? or, perhaps you will be full of joy, because instead of the shadow, you will again see the sun....
Posted by partlycloudy on July 10, 2004, at 17:11:50
In reply to Re: This Grudge... » jay, posted by justyourlaugh on July 10, 2004, at 14:08:48
Butting in again, you know me... so if the grudge goes away, all the good things have room to move in your head. Grudges take up twice the space in our brains as love, passion, happiness, and hope.
Posted by jay on July 10, 2004, at 18:55:33
In reply to Re: This Grudge... » jay, posted by justyourlaugh on July 10, 2004, at 14:08:48
> i wish i could let it go too..
> but it hangs around me like a shadow.
> if i resovle
> will i be empty?jyl...I think as others have said, you will find more room for 'good' cargo that you can fill with better memories. I am the last person to speak about getting 'over' grudges, because I have many that haunt me like a ghost. But man, I am so hard working on trying to get on and over these, as I realize they consume a negative space in my life, and take away time that could be put to positive use. Time...hope...faith...peace...I *really* wish these things would help me, and I know to an extent, they are. I am back in a bit of the 'depressed' lane of life's highway again tonight...but I will try to find some stars to stear me in the darkness. I hope you can too.
Best and peace,
Jay
Posted by justyourlaugh on July 10, 2004, at 19:55:49
In reply to jyl..., posted by karen_kay on July 10, 2004, at 14:14:06
kk,
i relish in the grudge..
my anger can be placed away from me..and i cant help but feel a little hurt you would think i am posting in poetry on purpose...?
a mouthful...
i am posting what i feel ...
dont make me self consious about my briefity.
cant i fit in anywhere?
Posted by justyourlaugh on July 10, 2004, at 20:21:22
In reply to Re: This Grudge... » justyourlaugh, posted by jay on July 10, 2004, at 18:55:33
jay,
i feel bad i received replies on your post.
i was trying to let you know i can feel
"this grudge"
difficulties between the black and white slow down my growth...
but i am always looking out for any star light.
j
Posted by justyourlaugh on July 10, 2004, at 20:37:49
In reply to Re: This Grudge... » justyourlaugh, posted by partlycloudy on July 10, 2004, at 17:11:50
n cloud,
i love your "butting"i fear i hurt kk.
i lashed out.
i dont think and post..i pray she understand how impulsive i am..i think i am incontrol of my anger..and where not to place it(kids).. where it lands away from me is not important ..especially when i living day to day..
tomorrow i will pay..
tomorrow i will cry.
lvs
Posted by partlycloudy on July 11, 2004, at 7:07:31
In reply to Re: This Grudge... » partlycloudy, posted by justyourlaugh on July 10, 2004, at 20:37:49
I don't think kk will be bothered if you think you were prickly. I know what she meant in that all of your posts are beautifully arranged words, perfect and succinct. The way you write is as artful as your painting. She (and I, too) are in awe of how you can make your words do that.
Like your posts wear Cappezios and mine wear Doc Martens. or at least sneakers with holes and laces that are untied and dangerous!
Posted by jay on July 11, 2004, at 21:38:55
In reply to Re: This Grudge... » jay, posted by justyourlaugh on July 10, 2004, at 20:21:22
> jay,
> i feel bad i received replies on your post.
> i was trying to let you know i can feel
> "this grudge"
> difficulties between the black and white slow down my growth...
> but i am always looking out for any star light.
> jjyl...I feel very *bad* that you feel bad. I honestly don't know what to do or say, but I will always support you. I will try and point out a few of the stars if I can.
Best and peace,
Jay
This is the end of the thread.
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