![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 16 to 40 of 46. Go back in thread:
Posted by Indie on July 16, 2004, at 22:28:06
In reply to I'm Confused Now, posted by SandyWeb on July 16, 2004, at 21:58:44
> Do you want to know something?
I want to know everything that you have to tell!
> I had planned to slit my wrist again next week. There was a certain day that I was going to do it on.
PLEASE!!! Please post, write, call, send smoke signals before you do that. If you just disappeared from the board one day I would live with an eerie feeling, wondering what happened to you and fearing the worst. Trust me...it is not the way to go. My father and three others that were close to me have successfully suicided and it is dreadful for the people around you! I know, sometimes I forget this or feel that it is unfair of them to love me when all I want to do is cease to exist. I even attempted recently. (For which I feel never-ending guilt) However, the thought of another beautiful human being doing it snaps me straight back to reality. It is not the way to go.
> Our stories had an impact upon others? There was value in us opening up our past pains?
Yes!! A great impact!! I was just walking around the apartment to see if there might be a good place to hang myself. After I read your stories, I sat down to reply and now I am going to pick up my studies again and work on them until I fall asleep. I will admit that I am a bit irritated right now that I have to go on living, but your stories reminded me that NO human being should die by their own hand. It reminded me that only a sick mind thinks this way and that it WILL pass. I know it is an uphill climb but it will pass.
> I never expected the types of responses to my story. I am in awe of you all. You have made me very confused as to my worth. I really saw that my usefulness had come to an end. But your responses have touched me and have given me reason to pause.
And your stories have given me a reason to pause, even a reason to stop thinking about it altogether. I guess that is why this place exists. I can show you your value when you can't see it through the fog in your brain and you can show me mine.
For the last several days I have been turning to this forum to hear all of the stories of people who have been in this darkest of places and come out the other side. It gives me hope. Why don't we support one another and let the others remind us that it will pass?? Pretty please!
((((((Sandy))))))
Posted by ghost on July 16, 2004, at 22:29:23
In reply to I'm Confused Now, posted by SandyWeb on July 16, 2004, at 21:58:44
i've grown so attached you you already. I'm glad you realised that what you say really does have an impact. (and I admit, I'm a little shocked that I had an impact, too, Indie.)
Sandy, I'm HAPPY you're confused, if it means you're questioning whether or not to carry out a plan. I certainly would miss you a great deal, because I've grown attached to you and if you went through with it, I don't want it to make me think that I can go through with it, too. If it's that easy for you, who am I to chicken out?
For once, confusion is a GOOD thing...
Love,
ghost
Posted by ghost on July 16, 2004, at 22:31:19
In reply to Sandy and Ghost, posted by Indie on July 16, 2004, at 21:43:13
i used to do that a lot, when i was in a position to have friends who'd call me. I think eventually a lot of them just stopped calling me, but when I could, I often turned them down just so I could be alone-- and yes, then I'd bitch moan and whine about being lonely. It was a vicious cycle. Or maybe th epeople I *wanted* to be around weren't the ones calling me. It's tough to say. It seems like I'm never happy no matter what.
I hope you got some studying done and were productive. I know what that was like... I'm only recently not a college student. Nothing like killing a Friday night studying!!!
hugs,
ghost
Posted by SandyWeb on July 16, 2004, at 22:42:07
In reply to Re: I'm Confused Now » SandyWeb, posted by Indie on July 16, 2004, at 22:28:06
I have to go to bed now. It's a good place to try and clear my thoughts.
I'll get back to you tomorrow. Don't worry. Everything will be okay.
Hugs,
Sandy
Posted by B2chica on July 18, 2004, at 12:49:04
In reply to Sandy, posted by ghost on July 16, 2004, at 20:22:30
>>I wish I didn't exist.
-i am So glad that you do.
>>i did put lots of stars in it. i love stars.
********************************
********************************
********************************
********************************
********************************
********************************
********************************
********************************
********************************
********************************
********************************i tried to put in other kinds of stars but it wouldn't let me :( sorry.
here are LOTS of hugs sweetheart. PULEEZE hang in there.
((((((((((ghost))))))))))
Posted by B2chica on July 18, 2004, at 13:06:29
In reply to Sandy and Ghost, posted by Indie on July 16, 2004, at 21:43:13
>>The sick part of it is that I am alone by choice.
Honey, you are sooooooo not alone in this. i am Terrible at doing this. I constantly push people who care away from me. Sometimes i can't stand being around anyone but then i just ruminate on being depressed and alone and the blame game starts to kick in.
Please know that isolation is Part of Depression. this is not you choosing to do this to yourself. it's Sooooo difficult to not get caught up in this. first you isolate, then you blame self for isolation, then you ruminate on all the "hurt you've cause yourself..." this is all the depression talking. It's easy for me to say right now cuz i'm not completely down that path. but when you are there you can't even sometimes see that as anything near the truth. and even though you don't really know me Please TRUST me on this. this is depression NOT you. DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF for anything.!!! got it?!i am sorry you are feeling this down. please remember we're here for you. That's one thing i do like about babble. even though when i isolate, i can come here cuz the interaction is all in my control. i can choose Not to read, or Not to post and i can shut down the computer anytime i want or need to. Just remember that we ARE here if you need us, we're just a couple clicks away! Please take care of yourself.
hugs.
((((((((((Indie))))))))))B2c.
Posted by Indie on July 18, 2004, at 14:04:10
In reply to Re: I'm Confused Now, posted by SandyWeb on July 16, 2004, at 22:42:07
Sandy??
Are you well? Are you feeling a bit better? I am. I just worked out and made blueberry muffins. I am going to try and get some studying done now.
I am thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way.
((((((Sandy)))))
Posted by Indie on July 18, 2004, at 14:07:45
In reply to Re: (((Indie))), posted by B2chica on July 18, 2004, at 13:06:29
Thanks for the hugs. I need all that I can get!!
I am doing better, I am fighting it. I went out with some friends last night and have worked out yesterday and today. Can't decide whether to study or go to a movie today. At any rate I am trying my best to stop wasting time just feeling bad and do what I need to do to get better.
Hugs.
> >>The sick part of it is that I am alone by choice.
>
> Honey, you are sooooooo not alone in this. i am Terrible at doing this. I constantly push people who care away from me. Sometimes i can't stand being around anyone but then i just ruminate on being depressed and alone and the blame game starts to kick in.
> Please know that isolation is Part of Depression. this is not you choosing to do this to yourself. it's Sooooo difficult to not get caught up in this. first you isolate, then you blame self for isolation, then you ruminate on all the "hurt you've cause yourself..." this is all the depression talking. It's easy for me to say right now cuz i'm not completely down that path. but when you are there you can't even sometimes see that as anything near the truth. and even though you don't really know me Please TRUST me on this. this is depression NOT you. DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF for anything.!!! got it?!
>
> i am sorry you are feeling this down. please remember we're here for you. That's one thing i do like about babble. even though when i isolate, i can come here cuz the interaction is all in my control. i can choose Not to read, or Not to post and i can shut down the computer anytime i want or need to. Just remember that we ARE here if you need us, we're just a couple clicks away! Please take care of yourself.
> hugs.
> ((((((((((Indie))))))))))
>
> B2c.
>
>
>
>
Posted by B2chica on July 18, 2004, at 15:01:15
In reply to Re: (((Indie))), posted by Indie on July 18, 2004, at 14:07:45
>>I am doing better, I am fighting it.
Good for you girl! stay strong!
>>I went out with some friends last night and have worked out yesterday and today. Can't decide whether to study or go to a movie today.
seriously??? Honey, honey, HONEY! a MOVIE...Absolutely! it is an MUST! -keep in mind you are talking to QUEEN procrastinator. ;^)
>>At any rate I am trying my best to stop wasting time just feeling bad and do what I need to do to get better.
wow, do you have any idea how far ahead this puts you? this is a Great Step!! you recognize the depression and have some plans to get better or at least to get you through it. this is GREAT.
oh, and did you say you like hugs????
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((INDIE))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
-take care!
B2c.
Posted by ghost on July 18, 2004, at 21:56:30
In reply to Re: ****ghost**** » ghost, posted by B2chica on July 18, 2004, at 12:49:04
thank you. i love stars. i miss talking to you.
i'm hanging in there. i think there's still fight left in me. it's buried. but it's there.
((((((((((((((B2c)))))))))))))
love,
ghost
Posted by B2chica on July 19, 2004, at 9:50:07
In reply to i love you, B2c. » B2chica, posted by ghost on July 18, 2004, at 21:56:30
miss talking with you too chica.
and don't worry if your fight is weak. i'm strong today so i've got your back. I'll hold you up, with one hand even, so i've got the other free to chase off our demons. and don't worry, i inherited a Great (mean) "mama-look" so i don't even need to use hands!
consider me a giant shield holding you together this week ok? OK!
take care honey. be good to yourself. find a cupcake with star sprinkles on it and enjoy!
and REMEMBER- no matter who you are around or living with or whatever, this week while you are vulnerable their WORDS WILL NOT HURT YOU!!! they bouce off you like a basket ball with too much air in it! Remember i am around you, they don't have a chance ok? For every negative thought or word this week i will be telling you two positive ones!
take care sweet one.B2c.
Posted by ghost on July 19, 2004, at 10:04:36
In reply to Re: back atcha ((((ghost)))) » ghost, posted by B2chica on July 19, 2004, at 9:50:07
awwwww i just wanna crawl into your lap and forget the world exists.
thanks.
i tried to file for unemployment today, and some other assistance. basically because i'm a white girl with no kids, i'm entitled to precisely jack (poop). and all the processing takes time. i don't know what i'll do, come the end of the month when i have a bill i can't skip to be paid.
i just feel like the "sane" world is against me today.
thanks for the strength, though... it's much appreciated....
ghost
Posted by B2chica on July 19, 2004, at 11:53:52
In reply to (((((B2c))))) » B2chica, posted by ghost on July 19, 2004, at 10:04:36
> awwwww i just wanna crawl into your lap and forget the world exists.
-so what's stopping you???
i got my really comfy jeans on-tennies-to chase the "bad's" off, and a gap t (their the MOST soft and comfy t's ever) and a soft fluffy zip sweater (cuz it's always cold in my lab).
so hop on honey. i'll throw my blanky over you like a giant shield where NO ONE can mess with Ghost!
>>i'm entitled to precisely jack (poop). and all the processing takes time. i don't know what i'll do, come the end of the month...-stop right there! right now you should be in crisis mode. i know most wouldn't say this but i am, Don't think about the end of the month right now. it's enough for us to just get through each day sometimes. You have my permission till July 26th NOT to think of ANY end of the month worries OK?
-worring NEVER solves any problems so don't do it.
>>i just feel like the "sane" world is against me today."sane"????? what world are you visiting today sweetness? it's a crazed rat race out there-stay away, stay far, far, away 8^)
sometimes i think us with affective disorders are more into reality than ANY others!
Just take care of yourself, no worries for the rest of this week ok? OK!b2c.
Posted by ghost on July 19, 2004, at 12:06:03
In reply to Re: ghost, listen up! » ghost, posted by B2chica on July 19, 2004, at 11:53:52
it's funny how clothes can make or break a day. so i'm wearing my zippery black pants that i love and a comfy black tshirt with a kitty head on it and a hoodie (because my parents are firm believers that air conditioning is only worth it when you can see your breath). comfy clothes are best when you feel like (poop).
i didn't know you worked in a lab. what do you do?
you're right in that i'm a big worrywart. i'm trying to be "responsible." although i think i have the one bill i'm worried about pieced together from a few different little checks i'm getting. (ebay, my old checking acct, few bucks on hand), so i think it's okay... for now. i just have to figure out how to get those things cashed and whatnot, but... I'm on vacation from worrying until July 26. As per B2c. so i'll think about it later.
i was thinking of going to the library to check out some books. i wanted to read "an unquiet mind." i hope they have it. i'll have to work my way up to leaving the house though.
Posted by B2chica on July 19, 2004, at 12:42:36
In reply to (((b2c))) » B2chica, posted by ghost on July 19, 2004, at 12:06:03
I'm a STRONG believer in comfy clothes. infact my boss knows he needs to notify me if "special people" are coming so that i can be presentable (my words not his). but i usually dress for comfort Not fancy. Although i enjoy feeling dressed up (and that's slacks not a dress...insert long story here...)
>>i didn't know you worked in a lab. what do you do?
cuz i'm a bit of a paranoid freak i'm not going to get into detail, but i work in research and work with people with disabilities. "my" labs (not realy mine but i oversee students and practicing clinicians)consist of two in this building and one in a medical center and one in a rehab facility. my title is research technology specialist-but my boss refers to me as a research coordinator...not sure what the diff is but...
I mainly oversee the research projects. I start them so i get hands on feel, then train students or clinicians to continue data gathering. (i love the field research). i'm a connection between the clinicians and the engineers on new equipment (meaning i get the fun part of playing and breaking new edge ideas and report to the engineer of breaks or things i think would work better, and then also report to my boss, a clinician and say if i think it's feesable or such stuff for said research project). i also get to be on the lookout for new software that's out there for other stuff that maybe we can use either in our research or in practicing settings.
It's really fun.
But it also really makes me sad when i can't function to my expected level, i just think of our clientelle and am sad that i'm letting them down.BUT TODAY i am strong. i am myself and am enjoying it! and i know that i can only do what i can.
oh, did i mention i edit digital video? i LOVE That part of my job best. i've always wanted to be a professional photographer, well, this is pretty close. and i LOVE working with FinalCutPro (editing software!) it ROCKS!ok, well i think i'm gonna be late-i've got to drive across town to the other site right now.
talk to you tomorrow Ghost!
Take GOOD care of yourself.Keep in the comfies and NO WORRIES!
**and you MUST read an unquiet mind i thought it was Excellent!
enjoy.LOL (lots of love)
B2c.
B2c.
Posted by ghost on July 19, 2004, at 14:12:30
In reply to Re: (((b2c))), posted by B2chica on July 19, 2004, at 12:42:36
it sounds like you have a great job-- i love research, too. i didn't know we were both sciency nerds. that's awesome :)
*big hugs*
ghost
Posted by Indie on July 19, 2004, at 19:38:43
In reply to (((b2c))) » B2chica, posted by ghost on July 19, 2004, at 12:06:03
"An Unquiet Mind" is an excellent book!! It should be required reading for anybody with mood disorders. She also wrote a book called "Touched with Fire". It will remind you of all of the amazing people who have been affected by these crazy "illnesses" that we all endure.
Enjoy.
Indie
Posted by ghost on July 19, 2004, at 19:42:37
In reply to Re: (((b2c))) » ghost, posted by Indie on July 19, 2004, at 19:38:43
i've already read half of it... it's great. :) i can't wait to finish it. i sparked a "conversation" with my father (not really, maybe i'll complain about it later), so i might let my mom read it before i return it. we'll see.
thanks for the other recommendation, too! i'll check that one out next.
ghost
Posted by Indie on July 19, 2004, at 21:40:03
In reply to an unquiet mind » Indie, posted by ghost on July 19, 2004, at 19:42:37
I am worried. She disappeared.
Posted by Elle2021 on July 20, 2004, at 7:22:01
In reply to Sandy--Has anybody heard from her??, posted by Indie on July 19, 2004, at 21:40:03
> I am worried. She disappeared.
No, and she hasn't responded to my last post either. I hope she is okay and will let us know how she is soon. I love talking to her.
Elle
Posted by B2chica on July 20, 2004, at 9:08:14
In reply to Re: Sandy--Has anybody heard from her?? » Indie, posted by Elle2021 on July 20, 2004, at 7:22:01
Posted by TofuEmmy on July 20, 2004, at 9:33:50
In reply to Re: Sandy--Has anybody heard from her?? » Indie, posted by Elle2021 on July 20, 2004, at 7:22:01
I went thru her posts and the last thing I could find was when she went to bed on the Friday 16th. That was in her "This is me" thread. :-(
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040706/msgs/367032.html
Em
Posted by partlycloudy on July 20, 2004, at 9:49:05
In reply to Re: Sandy--Has anybody heard from her?? » Elle2021, posted by TofuEmmy on July 20, 2004, at 9:33:50
I have emailed her this morning to see if she can reply. Sometimes it takes a few days. I'll let you know the minute I hear something.
Posted by ghost on July 20, 2004, at 9:54:19
In reply to Sandy--Has anybody heard from her??, posted by Indie on July 19, 2004, at 21:40:03
if i'm stuck on this rock, you should be, too.
miss ya,
ghost.
Posted by B2chica on July 20, 2004, at 12:13:01
In reply to Re: Sandy--Has anybody heard from her?? » TofuEmmy, posted by partlycloudy on July 20, 2004, at 9:49:05
Go forward in thread:
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.