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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by kellyr. on August 6, 2004, at 23:10:44
I'll be moving soon and scared out of my boots, I've been packing everything i own up in boxs, donated things to the church,had a yard sale sold $2,000 worth of stuff for $400.00, ha ha.
it's going to be a great weekend in the 70's great for packing the rest of our junk. anyone need anything? ha ha
now i know i shouldn't be thinking about killing myself w/ all i've been doing, but my nurse loaded me up w/ meds to kill a horse, and all i can think about is taking them all (stupit brain). maybe it saying goodbye to everyone that's making me this way, i don't know. I see her one more time to get more meds on friday the 13th (scary fri the 13th) then we move the next day. sorry if i sound like a cry baby, but all i can do is cry.
Posted by ghost on August 7, 2004, at 9:24:43
In reply to too much to take on by myself!, posted by kellyr. on August 6, 2004, at 23:10:44
hi hon,
i just did a similar thing... a month ago, i sold everything that wouldn't fit in my car and moved halfway accross the country... now i'm about to move *again*. it hurts to sell stuff, too... i sold a $300 tv that was only 9 mos old for $50. I sold my guitar, dresser, end tables, and comfiest chair in the world for $100. i sold a gorgeous bed to someone who never paid me for it. it makes me so sad to think about. so i think i kind of know how you're feeling.
that's awesome they hooked you up with meds to get you through this-- just remember that they're for just that reason: to get you through this. not to overdose. (i keep reminding myself the same thing every day... or trying to.) it's really hard to keep going sometimes, but try to think about all the positives of moving to a new place-- a fresh start, new things to do, new places to eat (we know how i think!), new coffeeshops... it's tough to say goodbye, but with the internet and cell phones, it makes staying in touch SO much easier. it's by no means a true or pemanent goodbye.
if you happen to be near new hampshire or michigan, i could sure use some furniture!! i'm willing to pay top dollar! heh.
do take care,
ghost
Posted by Emme on August 7, 2004, at 10:10:03
In reply to too much to take on by myself!, posted by kellyr. on August 6, 2004, at 23:10:44
Ouch! (((Kelly))) Moving can be so traumatic. For some of us it can be so destabilizing. Please hang on and don't take all your drugs at once. One thing that's helped me a little bit in the past is that relationsips aren't as gone as I think. It feels horrible to move away from people and places you love. But....with e-mail, phone, and cheap flights, they don't need to be complete separations. Can you keep some contact with your nurse to transition you over while you get settled with a new nurse or doctor?
And....this board is not going anywhere.Emme
> I'll be moving soon and scared out of my boots, I've been packing everything i own up in boxs, donated things to the church,had a yard sale sold $2,000 worth of stuff for $400.00, ha ha.
> it's going to be a great weekend in the 70's great for packing the rest of our junk. anyone need anything? ha ha
> now i know i shouldn't be thinking about killing myself w/ all i've been doing, but my nurse loaded me up w/ meds to kill a horse, and all i can think about is taking them all (stupit brain). maybe it saying goodbye to everyone that's making me this way, i don't know. I see her one more time to get more meds on friday the 13th (scary fri the 13th) then we move the next day. sorry if i sound like a cry baby, but all i can do is cry.
Posted by kellyr. on August 7, 2004, at 21:17:06
In reply to Re: too much to take on by myself!, posted by Emme on August 7, 2004, at 10:10:03
i called a suicide hotline at 5am cause i was going to shout myself, the lady was very nice and talked to me for 2hrs, she wanted me to come in the hospital but i couldn't i reather die, i hope i can sleep tonight or i'll go nuts.
Posted by gardenergirl on August 8, 2004, at 0:31:17
In reply to Re: too much to take on by myself!, posted by kellyr. on August 7, 2004, at 21:17:06
kellyr,
I hope you were able to get some peaceful sleep and are doing better today. I'm glad there was someone available and knowledgeable on the hotline. I'm sure the idea of going to the hospital is distressing. I hope, though that you will do whatever it takes to keep yourself safe. Whether it's calling again, calling family or friends, going to the hospital...whatever it takes. For now, please take things moment to moment, okay? And post to let us know how you are.(((((kellyr)))))
gg
Posted by ghost on August 8, 2004, at 11:53:59
In reply to Re: too much to take on by myself!, posted by kellyr. on August 7, 2004, at 21:17:06
I'm proud of you for calling a hotline! It's so hard to ask for help. I'm glad you were able to do it. And I'm glad you're still here posting.
Keep us informed, okay? We're all glad you're here.
ghost
Posted by kellyr. on August 9, 2004, at 13:34:48
In reply to too much to take on by myself!, posted by kellyr. on August 6, 2004, at 23:10:44
still not doing any better, i think if i can't get out of this suicidal feeling by friday i'm going in the hospital, we had to put off moving til the end of the month because the house in OK isn't ready yet, so were moving in the rv at my mom's house til it time to go to OK.
my husband is mad at me now cause i talked to his sister about tring to shout myself, she told him the he should sign me in the hospital today and he said no to her, that it's to hard for him to do everything by himself. so i'm going to tell the nurse that if i have to go in the hospital that my husband well not take me there.
i hate being like this anymore i just can't take it. sometime i think that i should just do it and kill myself and get it over with.
Posted by gardenergirl on August 9, 2004, at 15:43:25
In reply to Re: too much to take on by myself!, posted by kellyr. on August 9, 2004, at 13:34:48
Thanks for posting, Kelly. I was worried about you. Yuck, I hate when houses aren't ready. Is it a new house? My husband and I had to live in an apartment for two months with most of our stuff in storage until our house was ready when we moved to Michigan. I hated that apartment.
I'm sounds like you might be feeling fairly alone in this? I'm glad you talked to your sister-in-law. Having anyone IRL to talk to for support is a good thing. I'm sorry your husband is feeling too overwhelmed to help right now. Perhaps it is best if you go without him. Can I ask, what is special about Friday? I hope you do feel better, but I also think that you may not want to wait if you feel like you are too close to the edge. Your husband will just have to deal with it. Your health and safety are much more important right now.
Please take care and keep posting when you can. Will you, by any chance, have any internet access from the RV or perhaps borrowing time at your mom's? I hope so. I'm still sending out positive energy.
(((((kellyr)))))
gg
Posted by kellyr. on August 9, 2004, at 21:02:22
In reply to Re: too much to take on by myself! » kellyr., posted by gardenergirl on August 9, 2004, at 15:43:25
friday i see my nurse for meds,if i'm not doing well she make sure i get in the hospital. and for the internet access i was going to use the library computer. thanks for all the help.
Posted by gardenergirl on August 9, 2004, at 21:34:19
In reply to Re: too much to take on by myself! » gardenergirl, posted by kellyr. on August 9, 2004, at 21:02:22
Sounds good. And you are more than welcome!
Take care,
gg
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