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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by crazychickuk on August 17, 2004, at 5:58:17
just can not control my mind, i am sitting o nthe sofa got my 5 yr old screaming at me telling me to f off, copying what i say i shout at her my chest hurts my hrt is pounding, i then start getting nasty thoughts i chuck the control but misses her on purpose ofcourse... but that dont frighten her, then she gets worse so i get up grab her puts her in her bedroom she screams kicks the door then opens it then messes her room up.. puts toilet roll over the bathroom, even wipes poo in on my wall and on my carpet in my bedroom..
her father dont bother and my mum isnt back till 25th august i got no one else... i am trying to play with her even though i dont feel well enough and she is like getting nasty with me so i give up... i am just leaving her to it kind of thing ignoring her but she is so getting to me.. she is up at 7 bare in mind i cant get to sleep till like 4 am.. and when she gets up she is so noisey she annoys my dogs.. they start fighting.. so i have to get up.. i not even sure i love her to be honest, i have never really bonded with her when she was born i didnt hold her till after i had my bath and was getting wheeled to the ward cus we had to hurry up as there were loads in labour same time as me.. :-( o god... i am so afraid of hurting her.. i must love her but i am af raid i dont and i am afraid that i will hurt her..
i am gonna be taking her to holiday club at the school today for 4 hrs costing £10 can only afford 1 day :-(
grrrrr sorry to rant just need advice...thanks
Posted by ghost on August 17, 2004, at 9:01:14
In reply to I seriousley feel i am losing my mind, posted by crazychickuk on August 17, 2004, at 5:58:17
your child sounds like a holy terror. maybe i'm not able to deal with kids, but dear lord, i wouldnt be able to handle that.
there are sometimes numbers you can call for help with children... i wish i could think of the name of the agency now. perhaps if there's a health and human services, or child and family services? you could call them, explain your situation, that maybe you are not safe to be with your child right now, and you can't handle your child right now?
i hope you seek some help, though. it sounds like you could use a little assistance. good luck with it...
ghost
Posted by TexasChic on August 17, 2004, at 10:15:26
In reply to Re: I seriousley feel i am losing my mind, posted by ghost on August 17, 2004, at 9:01:14
You poor thing! I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I would suggest some sort of parenting classes or counseling. Now don't think I think you're a bad parent or anything. I think those classes would be helpful to *every* parent. I watched my sister go through this with my nephew, and I started reading up on parenting and how to deal with difficult children. There's a ton of advice on the internet. My sister never much listened to me about it, but I can tell you my nephew acts like a different kid at my house, as opposed to being a little hellion at home! So I must be doing something right! The most important thing I learned is that you can't control a kid's behavior, but you can control how you react to it, which in turn, can cause him to act differently.
Oh, and a while back my nephew (he's 6 now) stopped responding to time outs. I figured out taking away something for misbehavior (toys, tv, going somewhere), and rewarding him for good behavior works well now.
Good luck! Let us know how you're doing.
Posted by woolav on August 17, 2004, at 10:27:49
In reply to Re: I seriousley feel i am losing my mind, posted by TexasChic on August 17, 2004, at 10:15:26
Hey, Its hard on anyone raising a child. Especially young kids. They are very demanding..My daughter is 15 now and when she was young, i didnt have the problems i do today. I have a 3 year old step-son and when he visits, my stress levels sky-rocket. Even though he is very well behaved. I just cant handle it. I got re-married 2 months ago and told my husband that he mise well forget kids, but i couldnt handle it now. Just try to get through this until Mum is back.....You can do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Shadowplayers721 on August 17, 2004, at 15:52:31
In reply to I seriousley feel i am losing my mind, posted by crazychickuk on August 17, 2004, at 5:58:17
From what I read on kids that act out like this, they do it when parents are seriously depressed. The best intervention is to get the parent help and get the child out of the home for periods of time, so Mom or Dad can recharge. Mom or Dad need therapy, medication, and parental education. Depression totally depletes one of energy and one has no energy to discipline the acting out child. The child needs strict reward type of parenting. They have to earn things with good behavior to get what they want.
Chick, this isn't your fault. It's the depression and anxiety working over time on you. I feel some major outside interventions is needed to help you and your child to have a more peaceful environment for both of you. This child is crying out for help. I feel the depression is sucking all your energy. Do you feel better or worse with no medications now?
I grew up with a mom that with major depression and it greatly affected me. She just couldn't function and protect me from being harmed. It wasn't her fault. But, it seems like the torch has been passed on to me with the depression. I believe if she was helped, my childhood would have radically been different and I wouldn't have suffered the abuses that I did. My mother literally couldn't remember the day before let alone raise a child. I feel depression impaires the parenting process and sets up the child to have the same symptoms later in life with acting out or being majorily depressed all their life.
How can you get some out side help from an agency in your area? Do you quality for any assistance?
Posted by woolav on August 17, 2004, at 19:29:53
In reply to Re: I seriously feel i am losing my mind, posted by Shadowplayers721 on August 17, 2004, at 15:52:31
your post really got to me. i have had depression/anxiety forever and my teenage daughter told me last night, that it effected her growing up with my depression. I really never realized she was that aware of it. But, obviously you cant hide it. I told her that at least now i am getting help. I tried explaining it was a chemical inbalance that caused the problem. Not that I am a crazy lady....I sure hope she understood.
S
Posted by crazychickuk on August 17, 2004, at 19:54:39
In reply to Re: I seriously feel..shadowplayer, posted by woolav on August 17, 2004, at 19:29:53
Thanks for all the kind words and advice... i dont want my daughter growing up knowing i am depresed, i dont want her getting it..
I dont want social services involved i am feeling bad cus my mum isnt here to help me.. she will be bk on tuesday i think i can manage till then i had a break today she went to holidy club for 5 hrs and again thursday and friday for 5 hrs...
I try to be a good mum i really do.. i am not on any meds at the moment i been of them for a few weeks now.. i am gonna give myself till middle of september then if i am still bad i will try effexor again with a little inderal if i need it..
I so want to take my daughter out more to kiddy kingdom and stuff but its just the crowds :-( I will get there i hope.. i know there are worse of than me..
thanks again i will keep u posted..
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