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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by woolav on November 2, 2004, at 11:54:05
Hi, just wanted to get this off my chest. I am a 32 yr old mother of a 15 yr old daughter. She does pretty good at school (private) and has a best friend who she spends every weekend with bc they go to diff. schools. So far, so good.
Then, I have a stepfather (who has narcisist personality disorder) who is telling ME how to raise my daughter. He was the worst example of a parent when i was her age. It would take yrs of therapy to go through all that crap. Anyway, he thinks that my daughter should get involved with school activities. She really doesnt want to bc she doesnt like the spoiled rich kids that she goes to school with. Anyway, so he is giving me a lecture today about I am not parenting right bc i dont push her into something that she doesnt want to do. (like join band or something) It really pisses me off that he had the nerve to tell me what i should do with my daughter when he was a psychotic freak parent to me. Now, he is saying that he is going to theaten her by saying he wont help her buy a car next year if she doesnt get involved with an after school activity. (he of course thinks that her father and I could never get her a car) because he is GOD. Anyway, sorry, but i had to vent.
Thanks
Sandy
Posted by alesta on November 3, 2004, at 1:41:44
In reply to PARENTS DRIVING ME NUTS --------------------, posted by woolav on November 2, 2004, at 11:54:05
> Hi, just wanted to get this off my chest. I am a 32 yr old mother of a 15 yr old daughter. She does pretty good at school (private) and has a best friend who she spends every weekend with bc they go to diff. schools. So far, so good.
> Then, I have a stepfather (who has narcisist personality disorder) who is telling ME how to raise my daughter. He was the worst example of a parent when i was her age. It would take yrs of therapy to go through all that crap. Anyway, he thinks that my daughter should get involved with school activities. She really doesnt want to bc she doesnt like the spoiled rich kids that she goes to school with. Anyway, so he is giving me a lecture today about I am not parenting right bc i dont push her into something that she doesnt want to do. (like join band or something) It really pisses me off that he had the nerve to tell me what i should do with my daughter when he was a psychotic freak parent to me. Now, he is saying that he is going to theaten her by saying he wont help her buy a car next year if she doesnt get involved with an after school activity. (he of course thinks that her father and I could never get her a car) because he is GOD. Anyway, sorry, but i had to vent.
> Thanks
> Sandyhi sandy,:)
how's it goin', girl? you're the parent, not your stepfather. it sounds like you are doing just fine parenting and if your daughter doesn't want to do after-school activities, why make her? it sounds like your stepfather is stirring up the pot. don't let him. (you know i know about narcissists, as i've mentioned to you that my mother is one.) don't let him meddle in your lives. and don't let him hold anything over you, like this car. even if she did do the afterschool activity, then your stepfather may keep asking for other changes in your lives before he buys her the car. don't allow him this control, hon. best to tell him to stop meddling. tell him over and over, as needed. there need to be boundaries here. that's what i had to do with my mom. and she would hold stuff over me, too, and it would always be "one more thing" i had to do. don't let him blackmail you, because that is exactly what he's doing..blackmailing for control.take care, sweetie,
amy
Posted by shortelise on November 3, 2004, at 12:45:27
In reply to PARENTS DRIVING ME NUTS --------------------, posted by woolav on November 2, 2004, at 11:54:05
What a jerk!
S
Posted by JenStar on November 3, 2004, at 22:44:40
In reply to PARENTS DRIVING ME NUTS --------------------, posted by woolav on November 2, 2004, at 11:54:05
sorry to hear about the situation! Is it possible that he's trying to offer good advice ("good" in his opinion anyway) as a way to be helpful? Maybe he knows he messed up with you in the past and he's trying as best he can to be useful? (That's me trying to look on the bright side...but you'll know better whether that's possible from him!)
If your daughter doesn't like the girls at school, are there other events in which she could participate? Sometimes there are local soup kitchens which need volunteers, or Big Brother/ Big Sister tutoring programs for gradeschool kids who need help with math/reading. Sometimes the Humane Society even accepts teen volunteers. These kinds of things might give her opportunities to meet cool people and get some interesting experiences (and wouldn't look too shabby on a college app. either, although of course that shouldn't be the main reason for doing it...)
Sounds like this narcissistic guy is quite a pain, though. What do you usually do when he butts in? Is there something that's effective to get him to stop?
Good luck!
jenStar
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