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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by smokeymadison on November 30, 2004, at 20:28:11
hey all,
for any of you with knowledge of the custody laws out there, i have a question. my sister currently lives with my dad and stepmother. my stepmother is emotionally quite abusive towards her, just as she was with me. she is 13 right now. i just talked for an hour with her while my stepmom was out of the house and was horrified to hear how she is being treated.
now i think that when a person turns 16, he/she has the right to choose which divorced parent with which they want to live. does this right extend beyond parents? could my sister legally choose to live with me when she turns 16?
i know that i am not stable mentally right now--neither is my sister, but i am working on dealing w/ my issues and becoming stable for myself and also in order to take in any of my siblings who need a place to go once they turn 18 and get kicked out of my dad's house (my stepmother will see to that). any advice is greatly appreciated.
SM
Posted by Fallen4MyT on November 30, 2004, at 22:53:08
In reply to 16 year old's legal rights?, posted by smokeymadison on November 30, 2004, at 20:28:11
Hi I beleive it varies from state to state as to all divorce laws. You may want to call the free legal clinic in the AM or call a cheap lawyer who will not charge you for just a question...Some college profs who teach law will be able to answer you correctly too.
Posted by just plain jane on November 30, 2004, at 23:53:36
In reply to 16 year old's legal rights?, posted by smokeymadison on November 30, 2004, at 20:28:11
I don't know what state you are in, but many have their compiled laws and statutes online. It is possible you could do the research on this one and get the answers straight from the book. Also, the Friend of the Court, or your state's equivalent custody and support agency should be able to give you some, if not all, of the answers you need.
My best suggestion, though, is, whomever you talk with, even if they are rude or abrupt or in any way behave badly toward you, please keep your cool and conduct yourself in a calm, friendly businesslike manner. Some of the officials and workers can get pretty haughty and condescending. But keeping your persona in check will help in the long run. Certainly can't hurt.
Best wishes on your ordeal.
just plain jane
Posted by 64bowtie on December 1, 2004, at 1:46:55
In reply to 16 year old's legal rights?, posted by smokeymadison on November 30, 2004, at 20:28:11
SM,
You and your sister deserve a safe environment to grow and mature in, no matter how you might be labeled by the labellers. It took you a lot of living to get to whatever age you are. You surely have learned a thing or two you could teach your controlling stepmom.
In California, each county has a Child Protective Services department that will take cases like your sister's solely on her testimony. Have faith, they can find cause against your stepmom just as easily as not. So, fear not! Encourage your sister to look into her counties CPS system. I happen to know Illinois where Dr. Bob hangs out in Cook county, has an aggressive and responsive CPS.
Rod
Posted by GeishaGirl on December 1, 2004, at 9:06:58
In reply to 16 year old's legal rights? ...safety first... » smokeymadison, posted by 64bowtie on December 1, 2004, at 1:46:55
I'm sorry about all the trauma that's happening to you and your sister right now.
Some great advice here!
I also wanted to add that in some states at the age of 16 you can file for "emancipation", which means that you are treated as if you were an adult of eighteen (at least this was the case awhile ago). I don't know if this would be less complicated or not. She would need to show that she could work to support herself and some other things, as well. I agree with others about seeking legal advice. Some are lawyers great and take on pro bono (free) cases and there are organizations that may help, as was previously mentioned.
The reason I mentioned looking into that option is because if there is objection to you taking care of your sister, it's possible that any psychiatric or psychological labels/ history that you or your sister may have will be brought up. I hate when that happens.
I hope that all goes well for you and your sister and that it's less complicated than it may seem.
I agree with Rod. I believe in hope. There are a lot of great people out there :)
Geisha Girl
> SM,
>
> You and your sister deserve a safe environment to grow and mature in, no matter how you might be labeled by the labellers. It took you a lot of living to get to whatever age you are. You surely have learned a thing or two you could teach your controlling stepmom.
>
> In California, each county has a Child Protective Services department that will take cases like your sister's solely on her testimony. Have faith, they can find cause against your stepmom just as easily as not. So, fear not! Encourage your sister to look into her counties CPS system. I happen to know Illinois where Dr. Bob hangs out in Cook county, has an aggressive and responsive CPS.
>
> Rod
Posted by sunny10 on December 1, 2004, at 13:26:24
In reply to Re: 16 year old's legal rights? ...safety first..., posted by GeishaGirl on December 1, 2004, at 9:06:58
As a divorced woman with a child, I can tell you that I have heard stories of courts granting the requests of children as young as 13 years old on a case by case basis.
You do have the right to call Child Services in any case. Be sure to ask them to assign a pyschologist to determine the abuse- and that they must speak to the child before the adults even know that she will be talking to anyone. Emotionally abusive people such as your stepmother are very good at scaring the child into keeping quiet. They are also very good at lying during their own interview, so be forewarned. The court will be surprised that you want a pyschologists opinion- and more likely to be convinced that you are only interested in helping your sister. And so far, I have only seen the who called Child Services win any cases. Even when the caller was the abuser! Be first.
I realize this is advice, and you may not be ready to act on this or anything just yet. I just thought I'd offer my experiences.
Posted by smokeymadison on December 1, 2004, at 15:20:29
In reply to Re: 16 year old's legal rights? ...safety first..., posted by sunny10 on December 1, 2004, at 13:26:24
thanks everybody!
i do know a lawyer in my town who is quite helpful at answering questions for free, so i am going to call her. i am not prepared to do anything right now, as i am trying to get myself stabilized right now. but i just want a plan in mind for when i am ready.
i live in ohio, and i know that emancipation is not an option. i looked into that years ago when i was 17 and wanting out. the best case scenario would be for my dad to just get sick of the situation, of trying to hold back and not piss off my stepmom at the same time, and for him to just let me take my sister in. thanks again for all the advice!
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