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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by partlycloudy on February 2, 2005, at 13:02:00
2nd bad day in a row. Not handling work well; had a simple task to do today and I worried about it all night. It is such a little thing and my mind is blowing everything up into enormous proportions. I got the task done first thing today and I'm still worked up over it. I imagine that I have no credibility.
My therapist keeps rescheduling me without a second thought and I can't even tell her how upset it makes me, because I hardly know her and she says, "well, things happen; stuff comes up".Babble is really only a part of it.
I can't cry here at work, I can't. I'm supposed to be all better after being out for 2 months on sick leave. There's nowhere for me to go to collect myself. There is no collecting possible right now. I'm shattered, fractured, blowed up real good.
I cranked up my white noise machine until it sounds like the ocean is lapping at my desk.
I deep breathed until I saw stars, then forgot what I was doing and held my breath like a pearl diver.
I went out at lunchtime to run an errand and my road rage seethed; I hated the people standing in line in front of me at the store... it is all no good, no good today.Angel Girl, forgive me please for being so forceful with you. It's the last thing either of us needs.
Posted by Dinah on February 2, 2005, at 13:11:43
In reply to I'm losing it today, posted by partlycloudy on February 2, 2005, at 13:02:00
I wish I had more to offer you, but I've got a wicked migraine after staying up most of the night watching Dr. Bob's moderator's dance.
Posted by Dinah on February 2, 2005, at 13:12:22
In reply to I'm losing it today, posted by partlycloudy on February 2, 2005, at 13:02:00
I can say that I empathize. I've been losing it far too often lately.
Posted by Angielala on February 2, 2005, at 13:32:08
In reply to I'm losing it today, posted by partlycloudy on February 2, 2005, at 13:02:00
standing in line is the worst for me too...
So you just went back to work from a 2 month leave- is that right? Was it a mental health break?
And I would be upset with the therapist too- that's not very professional. Ever think of saying "I need to find a therapist that can see me on a more normal schedule" to her? I know that might sound harsh saying, but it's a doc's job to be there, you know? Changing docs isn't the easiest thing to do eother- I know it's easier said than done.
Can you make a list? Make two lists- one for things that are "bad" feelings and one that is "good" feelings. There are no rules as to what you can write- bad feeling could be standing in line, or high anxiety- whatever makes sense to you when you read it back to yourself. For every bad feeling, you have to think of two good ones.. even if it's a good feeling from a long time ago or a made up one.
The act of making the lists makes you sit in one spot and think of only that for a while. make the lsits at home- where you can cry. make them here if you want. What you have to make sure of is that you give the good feelings a fair shot.
Mine from this morning was:
Bad
1. morning traffic when you have an old lady in front of you that doesn't use her directional and you are already lateGood
1. I'm not old like her
2. I have orange sherbert in my freezer for laterIt looks silly, but after I make the lists, I sort of step back and see how everythign adds up.
Just an idea.
For now, I send you my big Lala hugs... the kind that knock the wind out of you and make you giggle...
> 2nd bad day in a row. Not handling work well; had a simple task to do today and I worried about it all night. It is such a little thing and my mind is blowing everything up into enormous proportions. I got the task done first thing today and I'm still worked up over it. I imagine that I have no credibility.
> My therapist keeps rescheduling me without a second thought and I can't even tell her how upset it makes me, because I hardly know her and she says, "well, things happen; stuff comes up".
>
> Babble is really only a part of it.
> I can't cry here at work, I can't. I'm supposed to be all better after being out for 2 months on sick leave. There's nowhere for me to go to collect myself. There is no collecting possible right now. I'm shattered, fractured, blowed up real good.
> I cranked up my white noise machine until it sounds like the ocean is lapping at my desk.
> I deep breathed until I saw stars, then forgot what I was doing and held my breath like a pearl diver.
> I went out at lunchtime to run an errand and my road rage seethed; I hated the people standing in line in front of me at the store... it is all no good, no good today.
>
> Angel Girl, forgive me please for being so forceful with you. It's the last thing either of us needs.
>
>
Posted by Angielala on February 2, 2005, at 13:32:38
In reply to ((((Partlycloudy)))), posted by Dinah on February 2, 2005, at 13:11:43
Is that like a rain dance?
> I wish I had more to offer you, but I've got a wicked migraine after staying up most of the night watching Dr. Bob's moderator's dance.
Posted by Angel Girl on February 2, 2005, at 13:55:01
In reply to I'm losing it today, posted by partlycloudy on February 2, 2005, at 13:02:00
pc
You have no reason to apologize to me. I'm sorry that you are going through a very rough time in your personal life and then see all this crap on here, including my moods. I'm sorry that I've inflicted them on you and contributed to your state of emotions. I hope you can find a way to regroup. Maybe a *break* in the washroom for privacy might help you for a few minutes, to maybe let a few tears out? I feel for you. Again, I'm really sorry that I have contributed to your pain. Sending huge hugs your way sweetie.
AG
> 2nd bad day in a row. Not handling work well; had a simple task to do today and I worried about it all night. It is such a little thing and my mind is blowing everything up into enormous proportions. I got the task done first thing today and I'm still worked up over it. I imagine that I have no credibility.
> My therapist keeps rescheduling me without a second thought and I can't even tell her how upset it makes me, because I hardly know her and she says, "well, things happen; stuff comes up".
>
> Babble is really only a part of it.
> I can't cry here at work, I can't. I'm supposed to be all better after being out for 2 months on sick leave. There's nowhere for me to go to collect myself. There is no collecting possible right now. I'm shattered, fractured, blowed up real good.
> I cranked up my white noise machine until it sounds like the ocean is lapping at my desk.
> I deep breathed until I saw stars, then forgot what I was doing and held my breath like a pearl diver.
> I went out at lunchtime to run an errand and my road rage seethed; I hated the people standing in line in front of me at the store... it is all no good, no good today.
>
> Angel Girl, forgive me please for being so forceful with you. It's the last thing either of us needs.
>
>
Posted by Angel Girl on February 2, 2005, at 13:58:16
In reply to Re: ((((Partlycloudy)))), posted by Angielala on February 2, 2005, at 13:32:38
> Is that like a rain dance?
>
> > I wish I had more to offer you, but I've got a wicked migraine after staying up most of the night watching Dr. Bob's moderator's dance.
>
>I stayed up all night too and watched the moderator dance. He does come on here very late. I was going to make a *funny* comment in regards to your *rain* dance but it would for sure get me a block, so I shall refrain. So, you'll have to miss my sense of humour. lol!!!
AG
Posted by gardenergirl on February 2, 2005, at 14:16:35
In reply to Re: ((((Partlycloudy)))) » Angielala, posted by Angel Girl on February 2, 2005, at 13:58:16
PC,
I'm sorry it's been so difficult recently. It sounds like you have had more than your share of stressors. I sure hate that crying in public thing. I'm a serious cryer, and I hate the way I look during and after. I always want to say "Pay no attention to the crying woman behind the curtain."(((((Partlycloudy)))))
take care,
gg
Posted by Angielala on February 2, 2005, at 14:25:45
In reply to Re: ((((Partlycloudy)))) » Angielala, posted by Angel Girl on February 2, 2005, at 13:58:16
OH, man, I wanted to laugh!
> > Is that like a rain dance?
> >
> > > I wish I had more to offer you, but I've got a wicked migraine after staying up most of the night watching Dr. Bob's moderator's dance.
> >
> >
>
> I stayed up all night too and watched the moderator dance. He does come on here very late. I was going to make a *funny* comment in regards to your *rain* dance but it would for sure get me a block, so I shall refrain. So, you'll have to miss my sense of humour. lol!!!
>
> AG
Posted by partlycloudy on February 2, 2005, at 15:21:20
In reply to I'm losing it today, posted by partlycloudy on February 2, 2005, at 13:02:00
And I can't thank youse guys enough.
(((babble pals)))
Posted by Shortelise on February 2, 2005, at 15:32:54
In reply to You all really helped me today., posted by partlycloudy on February 2, 2005, at 15:21:20
I'm a little late to this thread, but PC, oh, I do know about the having to hold emotions in stuff.
I end up feeling like an overstuffed pillow, so full of emotions, about to burst at the seams.
I used to have to let it out somehow, and I'd be the nastiest, grumpiest, most vicious of customers in shops.
Heaven help the poor idiot who called on the phone wanting to clean my carpets.
Oh, and one time a squeegie kid started to clean the windows of my car - I erputed at him, and he ran away!
Is there any way you could go for a run at lunchtime? Pound you anger and other feelings out on the sidewalk? I had always sworn that I would never run unless someone was chasing me, but when I found myself in phase of huge anger, it was *the* things I found helped the most. That and having the understanding of my husband who let me yell it out at him because he understood my anger was not directed at him.
PC, I send you hugs and encourage you.
ShortE
Posted by ghost on February 2, 2005, at 20:35:05
In reply to I'm losing it today, posted by partlycloudy on February 2, 2005, at 13:02:00
Posted by jujube on February 2, 2005, at 21:57:05
In reply to I'm losing it today, posted by partlycloudy on February 2, 2005, at 13:02:00
((((Partlycloudy))))
I'm sorry things are tough for you right now.
Geez, don't you wish that at birth we were given a user's manual with a long and detailed Troubleshooting section in it! I can relate to what you are going through - the late night worrying, the irritability and internal rage that can get so bad you feel like a volcano ready to erupt, the self-doubt. Ugh! I don't know how many times I ended up out with the dog for a walk or a run at 1 or 2 in the morning trying to quell my racing mind. Or, how could I forget my attempt to release the frustration and anger I always internalise by throwing dishes against the house in the backyard. That release mechanism backfired not after I cut my foot open on a piece of broken glass, but after I grabbed a Corel plate and became even more frustrated and irritable when it refused to break. Plus, I think could have become rather expensive!
I think what I am going to invest in is one of those blow-up Bozo punching toys - for both the office and home. Then, when I need to release anger, frustration and anxiety, I will take it out on Bozo rather than myself.
I don't think my saying "try to hang in there" will go over very well right now. I mean, I think I would have to be a moron to think that you are not already doing that. So, I will just say - be good to you as best as you can right now.
Take care.
Tamara
> 2nd bad day in a row. Not handling work well; had a simple task to do today and I worried about it all night. It is such a little thing and my mind is blowing everything up into enormous proportions. I got the task done first thing today and I'm still worked up over it. I imagine that I have no credibility.
> My therapist keeps rescheduling me without a second thought and I can't even tell her how upset it makes me, because I hardly know her and she says, "well, things happen; stuff comes up".
>
> Babble is really only a part of it.
> I can't cry here at work, I can't. I'm supposed to be all better after being out for 2 months on sick leave. There's nowhere for me to go to collect myself. There is no collecting possible right now. I'm shattered, fractured, blowed up real good.
> I cranked up my white noise machine until it sounds like the ocean is lapping at my desk.
> I deep breathed until I saw stars, then forgot what I was doing and held my breath like a pearl diver.
> I went out at lunchtime to run an errand and my road rage seethed; I hated the people standing in line in front of me at the store... it is all no good, no good today.
>
> Angel Girl, forgive me please for being so forceful with you. It's the last thing either of us needs.
>
>
Posted by gardenergirl on February 2, 2005, at 22:05:03
In reply to Re: I'm losing it today » partlycloudy, posted by jujube on February 2, 2005, at 21:57:05
This is the end of the thread.
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