![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by justyourlaugh on March 22, 2005, at 23:52:27
you can not take a inernet family and seperate us...
sorry gg i can not remember the colour of you r dress (making a point)
d...you look great..but where is your friend from the uk?
dr..this is a misstake..
have you asked others thoughts inyour field?"
Posted by alexandra_k on March 23, 2005, at 0:33:31
In reply to i need to say........, posted by justyourlaugh on March 22, 2005, at 23:52:27
Jyl, hon, please be careful.
I don't want to see you blocked again.I agree that the babble meet will change things...
If I could go I don't know whether I would want to go or not...
I don't know...
But I am spared from that decision.For those who can't, well it is a lesson in tolerance I do believe.
People who can't go will have to tolerate that.
And tolerate people discussing it on the boards.
Just like people who can't chat will have to tolerate that.
And tolerate people discussing it on the boards.
And blocked posters have to tolerate that.
And tolerate the boards going on without them.
And the same goes for peoples with computer troubles...Please don't get too caught up in what you can't do.
You can babble.
Please.
Posted by justyourlaugh on March 23, 2005, at 1:04:45
In reply to Re: i need to say........ » justyourlaugh, posted by alexandra_k on March 23, 2005, at 0:33:31
alex...
my point.will people like me ...
have a voice ..
after some of us have the op to ........
i can not believe this is viewed as a "study"
who can come...people with money..
american people...
???is this the voice you want speaking for you?bob...dr .bob..if you really want to make an impack...we are you r mothers...
your sisters..
your brothers..
do not hid us under a pic nic blanket
Posted by alexandra_k on March 23, 2005, at 1:46:59
In reply to Re: i need to say........, posted by justyourlaugh on March 23, 2005, at 1:04:45
Ok. I am not sure whether I am following you. You might need to clarify.
>will people like me ...
> have a voice ..
> after some of us have the op to ........We do have a voice on Babble. All of us. I don't think the meet will change that. I don't think the people who go will be treated as 'special' or 'more committed to babble' or anything like that. Why do you think you may not get a voice if you don't get to go???
> i can not believe this is viewed as a "study"
I didn't think it was a "study".
I thought it was an invitation to everyone. Some people can go and some can't. Some people don't want to go and some do. I didn't think it was a study...> who can come...people with money..
> american people...Yup. One or the other or both. Also people who don't have prior committments that exclude their going.
> ???is this the voice you want speaking for you?
How are the people that go speaking for the rest of us??? I don't understand that.
> bob...dr .bob..if you really want to make an impack...we are you r mothers...
> your sisters..
> your brothers..
> do not hid us under a pic nic blanketI don't understand.
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on March 23, 2005, at 11:09:19
In reply to Re: i need to say........ » justyourlaugh, posted by alexandra_k on March 23, 2005, at 1:46:59
>
> > bob...dr .bob..if you really want to make an impack...we are you r mothers...
> > your sisters..
> > your brothers..
> > do not hid us under a pic nic blanket
>
> I don't understand.What i took from that is that this is a board for the mentally ill, and once again the ill, those who have least available to them already; people who have a lifestyle very typical to those with a mental illness, are not going to be represented.
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on March 23, 2005, at 11:23:56
In reply to Re: i need to say........, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on March 23, 2005, at 11:09:19
that what is hurtful, or unnecessary and what is a "lesson" is a very personal decision. When I am told that something very painful for me is a lesson, or something "god wants me to learn" it does nothing but make me feel condescended too. How can anyone else know? If it's something that will teach me, or enrich my life, I'll figure that out.
Posted by alexandra_k on March 23, 2005, at 14:17:00
In reply to I also think, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on March 23, 2005, at 11:23:56
But I don't understand why the people who go would be seen as 'representative'.
> that what is hurtful, or unnecessary and what is a "lesson" is a very personal decision.
Absolutely. It is all in the way you see it...
>When I am told that something very painful for me is a lesson, or something "god wants me to learn" it does nothing but make me feel condescended too.
Ah. I apologise if it sounded like I thought it 'should' be a lesson... I just meant that it could be - if we choose to view it that way. And if you do choose to view it that way then it doesn't feel so bad if you can't go. Whereas if you don't choose to view it that way then one would tend to feel hurt and resentful etc. But the choice is ours it is true. I didn't mean to sound condescending. I just meant that there is nothing we can do about it. It is going to happen. So we have to choose how to view it and that choice affects how we feel about it and whether we are going to feel really bad about it or not.
>How can anyone else know? If it's something that will teach me, or enrich my life, I'll figure that out.
Sure thing.
Just trying to point out that one can choose to take it that way... If one wants to...
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on March 23, 2005, at 15:31:37
In reply to Re: I also think » Gabbi-x-2, posted by alexandra_k on March 23, 2005, at 14:17:00
> But I don't understand why the people who go would be seen as 'representative'.
>It's not necessarily that they *are* representative, but I can easily see why it could feel that way, (as well as why it wouldn't) simply by the fact that they are who will be meeting Dr. Bob. It's true that there are other ways that one could make themselves known, somehow the visual is distinctive.
> > that what is hurtful, or unnecessary and what is a "lesson" is a very personal decision.
>
> Absolutely. It is all in the way you see it...
>
> >When I am told that something very painful for me is a lesson, or something "god wants me to learn" it does nothing but make me feel condescended too.
>
> Ah. I apologise if it sounded like I thought it 'should' be a lesson... I just meant that it could be - if we choose to view it that way. And if you do choose to view it that way then it doesn't feel so bad if you can't go. Whereas if you don't choose to view it that way then one would tend to feel hurt and resentful etc. But the choice is ours it is true. I didn't mean to sound condescending. I just meant that there is nothing we can do about it. It is going to happen. So we have to choose how to view it and that choice affects how we feel about it and whether we are going to feel really bad about it or not.
>Oh it's not just you, it's a popular viewpoint, my mother says it to me ALL the time.. and it's definitely valid, anything can be a lesson, but I do still feel that it's up to me to figure it out though. Somehow when it's told to me, I bristle, because it's a given isn't it? If I'm talking about being hurt usually I just want my hurt acknowledged.
I can't imagine saying to someone whose been abused, "well I guess this is your lesson to learn" even though they may well learn from it. It's personal though, I mean sometimes people say things like "If it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger" or "God doesn't give you anything you cán't handle" and those bother me too, It's not everyone though.> Just trying to point out that one can choose to take it that way... If one wants to...
>
I think it's in the timing.
Posted by alexandra_k on March 23, 2005, at 17:19:42
In reply to Re: I also think, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on March 23, 2005, at 15:31:37
Ah. It is in the validation. I didn't validate enough. I am a big fan of validation. I know I bristle too if someone tells me that. I didn't mean to say that - I really didn't mean it that way. But when we have heard it that way so very many times before then validation is especially important or we will interpret it that way again.
I am sorry.
I see where I went wrong.
And I agree with what you are saying.
But I still don't understand the 'representation' thing. I mean... We are all individuals. Babblers are different from each other. I don't see the people who go as representative. But I don't see why or how they were supposed to be or may be seen to be.
Is the worry that Dr Bob will think 'we are all like those who turn up' or something like that???
I don't think I am quite getting it.
Posted by Dinah on March 23, 2005, at 17:39:57
In reply to Re: I also think, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on March 23, 2005, at 15:31:37
I assure you, Dr. Bob and other posters "know" me a lot better from my posts than they ever would in person. In fact, my physical presence might just distract from the essential *me* that comes through better in writing.
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on March 23, 2005, at 18:00:17
In reply to Re: I also think » Gabbi-x-2, posted by Dinah on March 23, 2005, at 17:39:57
> I assure you, Dr. Bob and other posters "know" me a lot better from my posts than they ever would in person. In fact, my physical presence might just distract from the essential *me* that comes through better in writing.
I think a lot of us are like that, there are many ways to be known, or representative. Like I said I can see why one wouldn't think those who get to meet are significantly representative. I can however see how it would feel that way, kind of like a weight loss support group having a beauty pageant. I can't stress enough though that for me, once I give it more thought that I realize it's not the same. After all, I wouldn't want to stereotype those with mental illneses as poverty stricken either. It's a great opportunity for those who can, not a slight against those who cannot.
I also don't think it is any more to Dr.Bob than a really nice idea for those who can make it to get to meet, just like anything else in life, sometimes you don't get to do what you'd like.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.