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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alesta on April 26, 2005, at 20:47:42
just how traumatizing my last relationship was..i was taking a shower tonite and i was scared he was gonna come in and get me..and i don't even live in the same house with him anymore..maybe i have some post-traumatic stress or somethin..
amy
Posted by TamaraJ on April 26, 2005, at 21:09:54
In reply to i think i'm now realizing.., posted by alesta on April 26, 2005, at 20:47:42
Unfortunately, it is not surprising :-( You have probably been existing in self-preservation mode for some time now. It is only after we get out of a traumatic situation that we begin to feel the emotional and psychological toll it has taken on us. Do you have anyone you can talk to, even some kind of local support group that you could join? It might help you deal with what you are feeling now. Of course, your friends at Babble are here as well to listen and offer support and understanding.
Be kind to yourself Amy, and take good care of you. My thoughts are with you.
All the best to you,
Tamara
Posted by alesta on April 26, 2005, at 21:25:21
In reply to Re: i think i'm now realizing.. » alesta, posted by TamaraJ on April 26, 2005, at 21:09:54
thank you, tam..yes, i think you're right.
this is my only support group right now..i might do an in-person one..that's something to think about.
thank you for always being there.:) you're so special. i'm pretty high maintenance right now, lol..
amy;)
p.s. man, your thread about music was a real hit!! i love the way it brought people out of the woodwork..:) do *another* one!!! :):(:)
Posted by damos on April 26, 2005, at 21:35:45
In reply to i think i'm now realizing.., posted by alesta on April 26, 2005, at 20:47:42
Hey Amy,
I'm really sorry you went through something so awfull and that you still feel afraid. My heart goes out to you. Sadly can't offer much other than hopes for better times to come, and thanks that you're out of that situation now.
Hang in there okay, thinking of you.
Damos
Posted by alesta on April 26, 2005, at 21:52:51
In reply to Re: i think i'm now realizing.. » alesta, posted by damos on April 26, 2005, at 21:35:45
> Hey Amy,
>
> I'm really sorry you went through something so awfull and that you still feel afraid. My heart goes out to you. Sadly can't offer much other than hopes for better times to come, and thanks that you're out of that situation now.
>
> Hang in there okay, thinking of you.
> Damosthanks, damos, i never thought this would happen to me..i remember watching that julia roberts movie where she escapes on a bus so he won't find her to a faraway state, yet she still wonders if he's lurking around..you just never know. good thing is he thinks my parents are here with me and that the house is on the end of a long private road, so the odds of him coming over here are slim. sorry to ramble. thank you. jeez, maybe i do need a therapist..either that or dominate the boards with a plethora of posts detailing everything. i appreciate your kindness..you have a way of calming the negative emotions very skillfully.
amy
Posted by sunny10 on April 27, 2005, at 9:07:13
In reply to Re: i think i'm now realizing.. » damos, posted by alesta on April 26, 2005, at 21:52:51
that's what we here for- to help each other and reach out for help, knowing that others will support us as we have supported them.
Babble is as close to the perfect ambiotic relationship as one can find!!!
kisses out to you, I know you are strong and will triumph your fears,
sunny10
Posted by Susan47 on April 27, 2005, at 12:51:53
In reply to i think i'm now realizing.., posted by alesta on April 26, 2005, at 20:47:42
Oh Alesta, what you said reminds me of the way I felt with my first husband. The shock of the way he was never hit me fully until after my son was born. You know, I was afraid of that baby for a long time. I'd go into the bedroom where he was asleep, just a little infant, and I'd be afraid he'd be a monster to attack me. Can you imagine? An infant! I was awfully depressed. This might be a symptom also of depression, do you think it could also be that, well, he probably MADE you depressed if he was that bad!
Posted by damos on April 27, 2005, at 21:22:45
In reply to Re: i think i'm now realizing.. » damos, posted by alesta on April 26, 2005, at 21:52:51
Ah yes, Dating the Enemy, scary stuff. Well I'm glad I could help just a little. I definitely think that talking to someone can't hurt, and this is said with the value of the 20/20 hindsight that comes from seeing all the times I should have done it but didn't.
Please don't ever be afraid to any or all of us a great big cyber-shout if you need us okay. I'm really glad you're here with us Amy.
Posted by alesta on April 27, 2005, at 22:41:20
In reply to Re: we look forward to your plethora of posts » alesta, posted by sunny10 on April 27, 2005, at 9:07:13
> that's what we here for- to help each other and reach out for help, knowing that others will support us as we have supported them.
thank you sunny!:) there is a nice balance of give-and-take here, isn't there?
> kisses out to you, I know you are strong and will triumph your fears,
thank you, dear, i hope so! i'm sure gonna give it my best shot..
mwuh dahling!:)
amy
Posted by alesta on April 27, 2005, at 23:02:33
In reply to Re: i think i'm now realizing.. » alesta, posted by Susan47 on April 27, 2005, at 12:51:53
> Oh Alesta, what you said reminds me of the way I felt with my first husband. The shock of the way he was never hit me fully until after my son was born. You know, I was afraid of that baby for a long time. I'd go into the bedroom where he was asleep, just a little infant, and I'd be afraid he'd be a monster to attack me. Can you imagine? An infant! I was awfully depressed. This might be a symptom also of depression, do you think it could also be that, well, he probably MADE you depressed if he was that bad!
hmm, well that's interesting, sue..i can't imagine being afraid of a baby, but the human mind can do strange things, i should know!:) maybe there was some transference going on there or something, whereby you related the qualities of your husband to your baby. I dunno!
<This might be a symptom also of depression, do you think it could also be that, well, he probably MADE you depressed if he was that bad!
lol, i hear you..i do get very anxious when i'm depressed, so that's definitely a factor, too. but i think my fears are mostly pretty much justified..there's a lot of stuff that went on there that i haven't divulged here. i was scared then, too, not just now..i'm just surprised that i'm *still* scared..but i guess there's some post-trauma happening. i now have a very self-preservative "my way or the highway" (reminds me of "limp biskit") attitude about men right now, lol..this bad stuff is never going to happen to me again..i hope that doesn't sound too bitter..i've been abused my entire life, beginning with both my parents (leading to my brother's well-disguised suicide), and i am done with that saga. sorry to talk your ear off, girl.
amy:)
Posted by alesta on April 27, 2005, at 23:13:14
In reply to Re: i think i'm now realizing.. » alesta, posted by damos on April 27, 2005, at 21:22:45
Posted by Susan47 on April 28, 2005, at 14:39:11
In reply to Re: i think i'm now realizing.. » alesta, posted by damos on April 27, 2005, at 21:22:45
And Married To The Enemy is worse than dating him, Alesta has that to be grateful for! She didn't make my mistakes. And I hope she never does, Alesta are you listening? Sorry. (((Alesta)))
Posted by Susan47 on April 28, 2005, at 14:45:08
In reply to Re: i think i'm now realizing.. » Susan47, posted by alesta on April 27, 2005, at 23:02:33
I understand how a lifetime of childhood abuse leads us to repeat it over and over again in all our relationships. I think it's the relationship with ourself that's in real trouble, and the only way to heal it is to feel you're lovable, for the first time in your life. That feeling is hard to get from anybody, because having never gotten it from Mum and Dad, you don't know how to develop that feeling in someone else. You're always staying away from people, even in your early love relationships somehow you always always choose the bad men, the men who come to you first and have the least to offer, the ones who're "exciting", like Dad was. Dad was definitely exciting... because what you have left to hold is your shot nervous system.
Me, anyway. See, "you" is "me" and it might be you too, but I can't assume that.
Posted by alesta on April 29, 2005, at 12:16:16
In reply to Alesta, you weren't talking my ear off at all., posted by Susan47 on April 28, 2005, at 14:45:08
> Me, anyway. See, "you" is "me" and it might be you too, but I can't assume that.
i'm not sure if you is me too or if you is just you.:-) thanks so much for taking the time to write that sue. you are sweet. i know if we try we can conquer our demons. and i'm open to more dream analysis stuff..that was fun and takes my mind off of things.
amy :)
Posted by Susan47 on April 29, 2005, at 22:33:57
In reply to Re: Alesta, you weren't talking my ear off at all. » Susan47, posted by alesta on April 29, 2005, at 12:16:16
Okay, if I have any interesting dreams tonight I'm going to come here and post them, just to get your awesome help. :)
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