![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Susan47 on November 1, 2005, at 19:07:16
I used to ask him that.
Posted by phil on November 1, 2005, at 19:25:24
In reply to What's the matter with me?, posted by Susan47 on November 1, 2005, at 19:07:16
Who?
Posted by Susan47 on November 2, 2005, at 2:52:48
In reply to Re: What's the matter with me? » Susan47, posted by phil on November 1, 2005, at 19:25:24
My ex-T, I used to be in his face with that question. What's the matter with me? Why am I acting this way? This doesn't feel right, it doesn't feel like me at all, this is not my usual way of interacting with people, why am I acting like this with You?
He'd just shrug his shoulders a little and look distressed or upset or just shut down. Or ask a question or say, "I'm not your therapist" ... but it was as my therapist that these weird behaviours of mine manifested themselves, and he absolutely MUST know the answer, he brought those behaviours out with his own behaviours.
What a schmuck, I keep telling myself okay he has a problem or he had a problem with me and just because he wasn't honest with me about it that doesn't mean it's the end of the world, I just have to get over it.
No one ever said a therapy relationship would be honest, it's just what I expected. I didn't get what I expected and that's no reason to have a tantrum.
I just need to get over it.
Posted by muffled on November 2, 2005, at 11:49:05
In reply to Re: What's the matter with me?, posted by Susan47 on November 2, 2005, at 2:52:48
Posted by alesta on November 2, 2005, at 12:40:10
In reply to Re: What's the matter with me?, posted by Susan47 on November 2, 2005, at 2:52:48
yes...this is one of those situations where i say "trust your intuition.." and it looks like that's what you are doing. yeah he's just a shmuck. glad you're getting it off your chest, so you can hopefully move on.
take care,
amy :)
Posted by Susan47 on November 2, 2005, at 20:12:16
In reply to Re: What's the matter with me? » Susan47, posted by alesta on November 2, 2005, at 12:40:10
Yes, getting it off your chest, so to speak (which seems to be making my own physical chest expand.. now think about it. Think about that. Because if your body is a reflection of your mind, as I believe it really is, then think about what this sudden growth in my chest area signifies, getting something off my mind, unburdening myself and.. expanding. Everything, I'm a little chubby checker now, it's hilarious and I love it) ...
Getting It Off My Chest Is the KEY to regaining my sanity. I think. Because whenever I vent what I truly know to be the truth, not as this guy might see it, because if he's truly a schmuck then yes, he'll be denying everything, and do you know what it is, Amy? What it is, is this. I have to be at the place where that doesn't bother me anymore. Where his reality, no matter how deluded, isn't interfering with mine. And as long as his reality is deluded, we will always clash. Which is what we were doing. BIG TIME. And this "professional" either (a) didn't know it was happening, or (b) didn't trust me with the truth. And to regain my sanity, Ally, I have to understand that his version of what's true, whether in line with mine or not, doesn't make my own truth any different.
It takes two people to communicate, Ally.
I suppose I can't fault a therapist for being unwilling and unable to effectively communicate. Nor can I fault all his myriad little excuses.
Not at all. But I do know that no matter which way the wind blows, he's been a disappointment, as a human being, to me. And that's okay. Because I know that he has his own life to live, one that has it's own challenges, rewards and disappointments. Maybe I was a great disappointment to him too.
And that just has to be okay as well.
Now to go out and live that. Now, to find more courage.
This has been a time when I've needed amounts of courage I never knew I had. But maybe I'll be a better person.
Posted by alesta on November 3, 2005, at 11:17:01
In reply to Amy,, posted by Susan47 on November 2, 2005, at 20:12:16
> Now to go out and live that. Now, to find more courage.
> This has been a time when I've needed amounts of courage I never knew I had. But maybe I'll be a better person.yes, exactly. you will...as you know, in the end, adversity does make you stronger and better in time...it takes patience and perseverance...sorry..that wasn't too inspiring, but it's the best i can do today..i wish courage for you, susan. you will make it sweetie!
take care,:)
amy
Posted by Susan47 on November 3, 2005, at 19:03:10
In reply to Susan » Susan47, posted by alesta on November 3, 2005, at 11:17:01
Alesta, we'll all make it if we want to. Wanting is everything. There simply is nothing else in life. That's the way I think we might be wired, and I guess I'm okay with that.
It's just keeping what I want from interfering with what I have. And more.
Posted by Susan47 on November 3, 2005, at 19:05:45
In reply to Susan » Susan47, posted by alesta on November 3, 2005, at 11:17:01
You know I wax sickeningly, absolutely sickeningly, philosophical. I know where I get this from, and I don't like it. I really don't. Well, maybe I have a bit of fun from time to time. We're allowed. We only have this one life, as far as we know for certain, unless we've had some hallucinatory experiences (which I'm ashamed to admit that yes, I've had a couple of those, definite 'episodes' of hallucination.. and I know the power of a mind. Not many people know this the way I do, this sounds absolutely MANIC, it's absolutely insane...I'm insane, God)
...
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.