![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Racer on January 4, 2006, at 23:36:12
Lately, we've been getting weird things in the mail, catalogs we can't figure out why we'd get, etc. Then there was a return card, from a bridal magazine, that someone had filled out in my name but not put postage on. My name is misspelt, and the card was filled out in block printing. Now, today, my husband mentioned that the magazine which arrived with a bill had already been cancelled, and when he called the magazine, he asked that a copy of the subscription card be sent.
(Talk about cruel, it's "Parenting" magazine.)
But it's making me really paranoid. I know it's not a big deal, in so many ways. It's still got me feeling as though I'm being watched, as though I'm not safe outside -- or even inside, really -- as though I have very little control of my life.
It's really upsetting.
The worst is that there are a few people I think could be doing it -- and that sense of personal evil is so strong because of that. All of them are people I haven't been in touch with in years, too, which is also upsetting -- "I must be really bad, somehow, to have someone holding a grudge for so very long." It feels as though someone is doing this to hurt me, which does hurt. Damn. Gave 'em what they wanted, huh?
Anyone else ever experienced such a thing? What did you do about it?
Posted by Maynerd on January 5, 2006, at 0:47:25
In reply to This is making me paranoid, posted by Racer on January 4, 2006, at 23:36:12
I have heard about things like this and have actually known a few people who had it happen. One of the people who did it to my friend was spun out of his mind on crystal meth and so was having serious schizophrenic thinking going on in his head. They asked him why later and he said at the time he swore that my friend had done something wrong to him and so deserved it; sober the person realized that he had in fact wronged himself through using those drugs.
Online it is easier to trace things back to the originator, mail is quite a bit harder due to postal regs. Was there a postmark on the returned postcard? If so you will be able to ascertain the mailing zipcode at least, which may narrow it down for you if you live in an area with multiple zips. That it was written in block letters suggests that the person who did it probably feels close enough to you that they feared their handwriting would be recognized.
IF it weren't for the post card I would say your name had somehow found itself on a distribution list. These things are rally a pain, all it takes sometimes is for you to give your name and address once when purchasing something, or for some local company to sell its customer list to one of them.
The main thing is to not panic or let this take control of your thoughts. Make sure that all your financial business is all the way it should be AND that noone has set up any other credit cards in your name at another addy (usually a PO box). Sometimes it can be beneficial to simply go around the people whom you suspect and bring up the subject and mention how you felt compelled to call the police. My friend did that and added that the police had decided to get the FBI involved as it was considered mail fraud. Yes he lied completely, but the guilty person was so freaked out that his reaction gave him away. Hopefully you might get some definitive resonse like that also.
Good luck
Posted by ClearSkies on January 5, 2006, at 8:59:08
In reply to This is making me paranoid, posted by Racer on January 4, 2006, at 23:36:12
Mail fraud is a serious crime.
I'd contact your local police with what you've received to make them aware.
It just doesn't seem innocent to me. Otherwise you'd be getting "ESPN magazine" or "TV Guide", you know?Take good care,
ClearSkies
Posted by JenStar on January 5, 2006, at 11:00:34
In reply to This is making me paranoid, posted by Racer on January 4, 2006, at 23:36:12
hi Racer,
I'm so sorry that somebody is messing with you! I have not had this happen, but I can understand how unsettling it could be. Actually one time we had something SORT of similar. Someone called up the phone company and had our phone number changed!!! Without our permission, knowledge, or OK! It was scary and weird. It never happened again, and we just assumed it was some "dumb punks" trying to have fun. WE didn't have enemies, or anything - so we must have just gotten on the unlucky end of someone's stupid prank spree hour.Maybe that is what happened to you. Someone is just being stupid and doing pranks randomly, and you got on the receiving end. Hopefully that's all it is.
Or is it possible that the magazines THEMSELVES are trying to drum up more customers by "force selling"?
Also, I once bought something at Best Buy and the offered some kind of free magazine deal, and almost forced me to sign up with my credit card. Is it possible that some store or business you visited is trying to do business in a weird way, and signed you up w/out your permission?
I'm sorry this happened. I hope it stops!
JenStar
Posted by gardenergirl on January 5, 2006, at 12:28:42
In reply to Re: This is making me paranoid » Racer, posted by JenStar on January 5, 2006, at 11:00:34
Hi sweetie.
I'm sorry this is happening. I sure do understand feeling paranoid about something like this.You know from experience, unfortunately, that some folks hold grudges much longer than the rest of the world might. It's sad, really. I would imagine that holding that anger for so long might be exhausting, not to mention the effect that anger has on physical health.
And I feel sad that someone might invest so much of their personal energy in doing something like this, when they might otherwise be using it for something more individually or personally productive.
Of course I also feel angry that someone is doing this to my friend. I do think you ought to notify the authorities, as it does sound like mail fraud. Although it's a hassle dealing with this, I think that it's important to get this documented and then be done with it.
((((((Racer))))))
gg
Posted by JenStar on January 5, 2006, at 13:59:44
In reply to This is making me paranoid, posted by Racer on January 4, 2006, at 23:36:12
Racer,
have you entered any contests lately, on the web or IRL? Have you visited any web sites that require personal information?I'm thinking that this sounds less like a personal attack, and more like a marketing group just got your name/address.
Even things like doing a 2nd mortgage, buying a house, credit card app -- many of these things get your name/address "out there". It's possible that over-zealous marketers are filling out cards for you, trying to get you to just say, "OK, I'm getting it, I'll just pay for it."
If you haven't seen any of the "potential evil" people in years, it's really unlikely that any of them would suddenly start sending you junk in the mail.
I'd bet it's more in the marketing realm, honestly. Unless it gets worse, I think you might just be the "lucky" recipient of catalogues/etc.
good luck!
take care,
JenStar
Posted by Racer on January 5, 2006, at 16:43:12
In reply to Re: This is making me paranoid » Racer, posted by JenStar on January 5, 2006, at 13:59:44
> Racer,
>
> I'm thinking that this sounds less like a personal attack, and more like a marketing group just got your name/address.No -- I don't think so, and I don't think I'm crazy to think this. For one thing, if I *had* gotten on some list by signing up for anything, they'd have spelt my name right. The card that came here had the block printing, and EVERY box checked for EVERYTHING on the card -- tons of bridal catalogs, etc. It was filled out and mailed out, but I can't believe that it's one of those accidental mailing lists.
I have had those, too, by the way: when I was a kid, I got a ton of junk from the Republican party and the NRA -- because I subscribed to a horse magazine. (Anyone with horses must have a lot of money, and therefore must be a Republican and in favor of guns? {shrug}) Generally, random catalogs don't bother me much, we just through them away. This is something else.
>
>
> If you haven't seen any of the "potential evil" people in years, it's really unlikely that any of them would suddenly start sending you junk in the mail.Actually, the four people on my radar over this would do that sort of thing. They are people with problems, let's say, that contribute to their holding grudges. One has shown, and recently, that I'm still very much on her radar. She apparently keeps track of me online, which is creepy enough.
>
Thanks, Jen. Even though I'm basically saying "no" to what you've written here, I do appreciate your taking the time to write it, and generally think you give great advice and do so with great communication ability. That's why I'm so sorry to be disagreeing with you about this.
Peace.
Posted by JenStar on January 5, 2006, at 19:59:21
In reply to Re: This is making me paranoid » JenStar, posted by Racer on January 5, 2006, at 16:43:12
hi Racer,
I think I misunderstood the past history there...if there is someone who tracks you on line (creepy!), I agree it's quite possible that he/she might do something mean. I wish there was a way to find out for sure if it was that person, just to give you peace of mind.is there any way you could contact one of those poeple and ask them about it, or would that only reopen past wounds?
I hate the idea that someone is messing with you. :( I was hoping, I guess, that it was something innocuous! But from what you say, it does sound like there is something deeper going on here.
I hope they stop!
JenStar
Posted by Phillipa on January 5, 2006, at 20:54:01
In reply to Re: This is making me paranoid » Racer, posted by JenStar on January 5, 2006, at 19:59:21
Racer I'm sorry. You're going through so much now. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Racer on January 6, 2006, at 1:17:23
In reply to Re: This is making me paranoid » Racer, posted by JenStar on January 5, 2006, at 19:59:21
> hi Racer,
> I think I misunderstood the past history there...if there is someone who tracks you on line (creepy!), I agree it's quite possible that he/she might do something mean. I wish there was a way to find out for sure if it was that person, just to give you peace of mind.
>
> is there any way you could contact one of those poeple and ask them about it, or would that only reopen past wounds?I thought about something like that -- I have email addresses for all these people, once of whom I met online, and thought I'd write an email saying something along the lines of, "It's over, it's in the past, and this is NOT acceptable behavior." But you know what? Whoever is doing this is holding on to contact with me, through this sick behavior, and if I were to write, that would be more direct contact.
Basically, Jen, right now I'm feeling like I'm giving her what she wants no matter what I do: Either I contact her, and she can hold on to whatever this is for her; or I don't and -- whether or not she ever knows this -- continue to be upset by it. She is getting a reaction from it, either way, even if she doesn't know she's getting it.
Oh, and all four of the suspects I have in mind are female. That makes it even worse. I kinda half expect that men are alien creatures ;-D, but expect better from women. Guess I read too many Sylvia comics over the years...
Thank you. Even more than I appreciate your caring, I really appreciate your responding so generously to my disagreement with you.
Posted by JenStar on January 6, 2006, at 10:05:03
In reply to Thank you » JenStar, posted by Racer on January 6, 2006, at 1:17:23
hi Racer,
disagreement never bothers me! :) I'm glad you took the time to let me know what was really going on. Although I AM sorry that someone is doing this to you. I hope she stops.I think you're right, though -- women hold grudges and/or anger longer than men, at least in my experience. I hope this one lets go. Just remember that we're all rooting for you!
jenStar
Posted by NikkiT2 on January 6, 2006, at 14:01:26
In reply to This is making me paranoid, posted by Racer on January 4, 2006, at 23:36:12
Everyone else has made sensible suggestions..
So I'm just gonna *squish* you instead..
Nikki xx
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.