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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Phil on March 23, 2006, at 19:08:34
After a totally depressing day in bed asleep(not at work)I looked up my favorite female comics for some laughs. Here's some jokes...
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
Elayne BooslerI'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.
Elayne BooslerI've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.
Elayne BooslerThe Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.
Elayne BooslerWhen the sun comes up, I have morals again.
Elayne BooslerWhen women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.
Posted by Phil on March 23, 2006, at 19:13:15
In reply to My favorite comedienes(I'll stop posting soon...), posted by Phil on March 23, 2006, at 19:08:34
Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
Rita RudnerI admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
Rita RudnerI don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.
Rita RudnerI love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita RudnerI love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
Rita RudnerI think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita RudnerI want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
Rita RudnerI was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.
Rita RudnerI was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.
Rita RudnerI wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
Rita RudnerIn Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
Rita RudnerMarriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
Rita RudnerMen reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
Rita RudnerMy boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
Rita RudnerMy grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
Rita RudnerMy husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
Rita RudnerMy husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
Rita RudnerMy mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
Rita RudnerNeurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
Rita RudnerNever play peekaboo with a child on a long plane trip. There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, "Look, it's always gonna be me!"
Rita RudnerSome women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
Rita RudnerSomeday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
Rita RudnerThe word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
Rita RudnerTo attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior."
Rita RudnerWe've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
Rita RudnerWhen I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
Rita Rudner
Posted by Phillipa on March 23, 2006, at 20:18:36
In reply to Re: My favorite comedienes(I'll stop posting soon., posted by Phil on March 23, 2006, at 19:13:15
Phil go back and look at my toy poddle the other dogs love him and so does everybody else. Love Phillipa
Posted by sleepygirl on March 24, 2006, at 18:27:21
In reply to My favorite comedienes(I'll stop posting soon...), posted by Phil on March 23, 2006, at 19:08:34
This is the end of the thread.
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