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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by llrrrpp on May 26, 2006, at 9:39:24
I was leaving my place this morning and there was a homeless woman asleep on the front steps. I've never seen her before, and I've never seen the homeless around my place. I feel bad because I should have tried to help her, but I was feeling kind of poorly myself and didn't want any more misery. I just stepped over her. I felt mad at her because she picked my stairs. I wanted to punish her by calling the Po-Po, but I didn't. I thought she must be even worse off then me. I thought she probably needed to sleep. She wasn't hurting anyone, even if she was kind of a blight. I should have given her some money, but I didn't. I should have given her some food, but I kept on walking, after I stepped over her. And I have regrets, and I will think about her, and what will happen to her today. Why is there so much suffering in the world? What happened to her? Will someone help her today? What if no one helps her today? Who am I to wallow in my self-pity as I type on my fancy computer and go about my comfortable life? How can she find the strength to wrap herself in blankets and fall asleep on a stranger's stoop, if I can't even find the will to keep living some days? Why do we live, when there's nothing to live for? When do we decide that there's nothing to live for? What would we do, if we looked around one day, and WE were the person asleep on the stairs, and we were the lowest of the low, the poorest of the poor, the sickest of the sick? How would we find the courage to keep going?
Posted by Larry Hoover on May 26, 2006, at 9:55:21
In reply to What should I have done? poss. trigger, posted by llrrrpp on May 26, 2006, at 9:39:24
> How would we find the courage to keep going?
Faith.
Lar
Posted by B2chica on May 26, 2006, at 10:15:36
In reply to What should I have done? poss. trigger, posted by llrrrpp on May 26, 2006, at 9:39:24
this sounds terribly selfish but you need to keep your needs in mind first and foremost. if your needs are met then and only then can you be of help to others.
and maybe trying to help her could have made you more vulnerable and less able to truly help her.first of all, even if you'd tried to talk with her how do you know she wasn't dangerous and could have harmed you. second, if you'd just given her money...would you have been left wondering what that money would be used for? third, you maybe wanted to call the police but you didn't. you didn't harm her in anyway. and you did just let her sleep, you didn't kick her off the steps which many...many people would do. and there is nothing you could do that would have totally changed her situation. nothing. (unless you are bill gates and can set her up with a new home, car, amnemities, schooling and a job.)
and you are entering into some very dangerous depressive thinking. please back up a bit and focus on you and where you are at right now. you are ok. you have a home you have a job. you have us. it is all worth it. this struggle through life. see we are all given challenges. you have a mental illness. and you may say, "man i am so glad i'm not homeless because i couldn't handle living like that". and maybe, she had thought, "thank god i'm healthy, i may be homless but i'm healthy i could never handle having a mental illness."
we have the struggles we do for a reason. if we fight through them. when we reach the other side we will learn why we fought. untill then we have to trust that we are to get through.and besides llrrrpp. you are a very caring and giving individual. i'm sure you help many in a way you know best. remember even doing the best you can at your job is being giving and something as simple as donating clothes is an act of charity. helping out at a food kitchen, or other local charity may help you. but it may make you worse as well.
i work with a charity about once a month but i have to be careful. i can get sucked into their lives Very easily at times. if i am more vulnerable at that time then i ask for assistance with my case load, or i opt out for the month. it may sound selfish but i have to think of my well being first. see, if i take care of my needs i'll be there for them the next month. if i don't, i could be in the hospital or worse. then i'm not helping anyone.please, you have no reason to be hard on yourself.
sometimes its all we can do to simply live another day. focus your energy where it is truly needed. whether it be you, work, family, friends, charity, religion...whatever.take care
b2c
Posted by llrrrpp on May 26, 2006, at 10:37:57
In reply to Re: What should I have done? poss. trigger, posted by B2chica on May 26, 2006, at 10:15:36
Yes, I kept walking because I knew I had to take care of myself. And I was walking because I needed exercise. I got in a good hour long walk this morning. Becuase it was something I needed to do for me. I walked with a destination. It was a selfish destination, but maybe I got some good done today. At work I helped a mom and her kid. The kid was so sweet and bright. The mom didn't know how to look for a school for the girl. The mom probably hasn't had a conversation with an adult in too long. She was starved for adult interaction. I help. It feels good. I'm no Ayn Rand. I wonder if I had helped this teh homeless woman this morning if I would feel even better. Ultimately, I worry that if I had given her money, she may have used it to further her misery. If I had woken her up, she may have reacted badly. If I had given her food, she probably would be suspicious of it and throw it away. I don't want to be sucked into her life, but I would like to know if I could have made a difference. I don't think she could tell me, but I'd like to know why and how she ended up on my stairs. What makes her different from me? Life can be so cruel. Lar is right about faith. But I pity her if faith is all she has. I wish I could have given her something of substance. oh well.
Posted by curtm on May 26, 2006, at 11:08:34
In reply to Re: What should I have done? poss. trigger, posted by llrrrpp on May 26, 2006, at 10:37:57
(lifts head)
Which is more valuable?
I'll would trade my substance for her faith.(hangs head)
Posted by wildcardII on May 26, 2006, at 14:58:11
In reply to What should I have done? poss. trigger, posted by llrrrpp on May 26, 2006, at 9:39:24
You had to face a situation that you were not used to and weren't sure what to do. You are compassionate and caring b/c many wld. not have thought twice about her. If it were me, i'd say a prayer for her that she will find a way.
Posted by Phillipa on May 26, 2006, at 21:47:57
In reply to Re: What should I have done? poss. trigger » llrrrpp, posted by wildcardII on May 26, 2006, at 14:58:11
I remember when young and lived in CT we used to drive through the Bowery (drunks) and I always thought if I brought one home with me, cleaned them up, fed them, helped them find a job they would be okay. Then one day we were walking and I actually talked to one and he said he was a drunk and there by choice used to have a great job but was happier on the street no responsibilitie. We're all different. Love Phillipa
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