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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 50. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on September 17, 2006, at 2:24:56
I went back to the Usenet group that accused me of being a troll.
I posted my real name and city and told them I was thinking of ODing and to call the police on me to prove I'm not a troll.
I'm going to buy a bunch of aspirin again and down it if the police come. I might die, but maybe that will prove that I'm not a troll.
Help. I'm losing it.
Posted by Deneb on September 17, 2006, at 2:45:35
In reply to Guys, I'm really upset, posted by Deneb on September 17, 2006, at 2:24:56
I can't stand this!!! I want to die!! I'm going to hang myself over a stupid Usenet group.
How can I go from happy as can be one hour to wanting to hang myself the next?
I can't stand it. I can't stand that people there are saying I'm a troll. A poster impersonated someone and now they all blame it on me. I can't stand it. I'm going to buy a rope tomorrow. I can't stand this. They're killing me. I'm going to kill myself over a stupid Usenet group. There is something horribly wrong with me!
Help!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Deneb on September 17, 2006, at 3:13:05
In reply to Re: Guys, I'm really upset *trigger*, posted by Deneb on September 17, 2006, at 2:45:35
I'm feeling a bit better now. I posted links to my posts on PsychoBabble as proof that I'm not a troll. Hopefully they will believe me, or else I think I will lose it.
I don't believe I will kill myself or OD, but if they still don't believe me, I don't know.
Help.
Deneb*
Posted by NikkiT2 on September 17, 2006, at 4:30:16
In reply to Re: Guys, I'm really upset *trigger*, posted by Deneb on September 17, 2006, at 3:13:05
Deneb.
NO. You never, EVER threaten suicide on an internet forum to scare people, to make them believe you are real. NEVER EVER DO THAT.
The advice you hve been given here, time and time and time again, is to no return to that group.. You cannot prove anything to them, and thratening suicide on them (and because of them) is going to alienate them even further.
*sighs*
Please. Never, ever do that..
And go and read the story of the "Boy who cried Wolf". The more you shout "I will take an overdose to prove x / because you did y / to make you do z" the less people will listen to you, or believe you in the future.
It also makes people less believing of others when they break down and ask for help..I suggest one final visit to apologise to the people at Usenet, and then remove yourself from their membership and block yourself from the site. Please learn from your mistakes. You *know* the place is a trigger for you, so why do you constantly return?
And please, never ever use suicide as a bargaining tool.
Nikki
Posted by alexandra_k on September 17, 2006, at 4:38:17
In reply to Re: Guys, I'm really upset *trigger*, posted by Deneb on September 17, 2006, at 2:45:35
> I posted my real name and city and told them I was thinking of ODing and to call the police on me to prove I'm not a troll.
If I were you I would go back onto the cite and apologise for saying that. Say that you aren't going to OD. Say that you are sorry for having said that. If you can explain something about how you feel (using 'I' statements) when they call you a troll then it might help them understand.
I'm just thinking damage management.
Is there anyway you can get your personal details removed from the board? I don't post at usenet so I don't know.
> How can I go from happy as can be one hour to wanting to hang myself the next?
How little sleep have you had?
That is what I meant about lack of sleep being emotionally dangerous.
I'm saying this to you in a friendly way...
Please don't threaten suicide.I think you will feel a whole heap better after a good nights sleep.
How about taking it easy on yourself for a couple of days and sticking to your regular sleep schedule?
Figure out a realistic plan that won't be so disruptive... And then implement it slowly.
On a more personal note... I understand the cycle. I've been there. The cycle of escalation and feeling like one has to do something to show people that one is serious. It is a horrible horrible horrible cycle to be on. Please don't do anything you will regret later.
Posted by alexandra_k on September 17, 2006, at 4:39:30
In reply to Guys, I'm really upset, posted by Deneb on September 17, 2006, at 2:24:56
The trouble with the story of the boy who cried wolf...
Is that sometimes there really are a lot of wolves out there.
That isn't the boys fault.
Sometimes... The world just is that way.
Posted by Deneb on September 17, 2006, at 4:44:22
In reply to Re: Guys, I'm really upset, posted by alexandra_k on September 17, 2006, at 4:39:30
Posted by Phillipa on September 17, 2006, at 10:53:06
In reply to Re: Guys, I'm really upset *trigger*, posted by NikkiT2 on September 17, 2006, at 4:30:16
Excellent advise. Deneb did you hear it? Imaging you're sleeping now. Love Phillipa
Posted by Racer on September 17, 2006, at 11:47:35
In reply to Re: Guys, I'm really upset, posted by alexandra_k on September 17, 2006, at 4:39:30
> The trouble with the story of the boy who cried wolf...
>
> Is that sometimes there really are a lot of wolves out there.
>
>That's the point of the story: the boy cried wolf, when none were there -- so no one believed him when the wolf finally did come for him...
Posted by Racer on September 17, 2006, at 11:58:58
In reply to Re: Guys, I'm really upset *trigger*, posted by Deneb on September 17, 2006, at 2:45:35
> I can't stand this!!! I want to die!! I'm going to hang myself over a stupid Usenet group.
No, you're not going to do that, Deneb. You're going to practice some of your new coping skills, some self-soothing techniques -- and you're going to notice that you DO get support here, you DO NOT get support there, and you're going to ask yourself WHY you keep going back there?
Deneb, I don't know which usenet group this is, whether it's the cancer site, still, or another. Whatever it is, though, you will never be able to change their minds about you by making threats like this. That's just not going to happen -- and, in fact, the more threats like this you make, the more troll-like people will see you as being. I don't think knowing that will make it any easier for you, though...
>
> How can I go from happy as can be one hour to wanting to hang myself the next?
>
> There is something horribly wrong with me!No, there's nothing "horribly" wrong with you, Deneb. How do you go from happy to frantic within an hour? That's called "Emotional Dysregulation." Have we heard that associated with any disorders? Hm... Marsha Linehan wrote something about that sort of escalation happening when parents shushed their kids, and shushed their kids -- while the kids were asking appropriately for attention -- only to give them their full attention once the kids escalated. So, the kids get "trained" to escalate in order to get the attention they need. From what you've told us about your family, it sounds as though your parents were too wrapped up in their own drama to give you the attention you needed, and so you learned to escalate.
Now, as an adult, it's time for you to take responsibility for UNlearning that particular lesson.
Deneb? I have faith that you can do this if you choose to. Notice I said "If you choose to," and not "If you try." You won't try unless you choose to, and it's a choice only you can make.
>
> Help!!!!!!!!!Honey, as a gentle reprimand here: we have offered you help, many times, about exactly this. We've already given you all the practical help we can, which really is limited to giving you our best advice.
Now it's time you need to choose if you plan to use that advice.
Good luck.
Posted by Jost on September 17, 2006, at 14:43:58
In reply to Re: Guys, I'm really upset *trigger*, posted by NikkiT2 on September 17, 2006, at 4:30:16
How do you block yourself from a site?
I'd be interested in being able to do that.
thanks, Jost
Posted by Deneb on September 17, 2006, at 17:46:46
In reply to Re: Guys, I'm really upset *trigger* » NikkiT2, posted by Jost on September 17, 2006, at 14:43:58
Posted by alexandra_k on September 17, 2006, at 18:01:57
In reply to Re: Guys, I'm really upset » alexandra_k, posted by Racer on September 17, 2006, at 11:47:35
please explain the analogy to me.
what are the wolves that 'aren't there' in this case.
i don't understand.
Posted by Phillipa on September 17, 2006, at 20:25:53
In reply to Re: Guys, I'm really upset » Racer, posted by alexandra_k on September 17, 2006, at 18:01:57
Maybe I can try. It's something people say in the US. If let's says you keep threatening to do something and don't over and over again. If you acturally do it's the boy who cried wolf. Threatened to do something so many times that when he actually did no one belived he would.
My own experience is my Father who always complained about chest pain and nothing was wrong. It was always diagnosed as anxiety. One night my nephew called and said he was having trouble breathing. My answer was breath in a paperbag he's probably hyperventilating. Instead it was a heart attack and he died. And yes I feel great guilt over not believing my nephew. Love Phillipa
Posted by alexandra_k on September 17, 2006, at 20:36:31
In reply to Re: Guys, I'm really upset » alexandra_k, posted by Phillipa on September 17, 2006, at 20:25:53
> Maybe I can try. It's something people say in the US. If let's says you keep threatening to do something and don't over and over again. If you acturally do it's the boy who cried wolf. Threatened to do something so many times that when he actually did no one belived he would.
'Threatening'
The trouble I have with the application of this story (yeah, I've heard the story) is that it can lead to the conclusion that one HAS to follow through otherwise people will conclude that you are... Crying wolf.
And so... I'm not sure that the story helps.
I feel so upset I'm thinking about killing myself.
Sometimes thats what one means to say.
It is just that it gets muddled...
And when people interpret it as a threat and talk about 'crying wolf' well...
I just know that in my own case...
It can lead to my feeling a whole heap worse.I probably should have just stayed out of this.
I got to thinking this morning on my way into work.
Dammit... I can't remember what it is called... But I think I identify too strongly with Deneb sometimes and what I say escalates the situation rather than helping to smooth things over.
I'm sorry everyone for my part in this conversation.
I know people are just trying to help.
Posted by Phillipa on September 17, 2006, at 20:55:38
In reply to Re: Guys, I'm really upset, posted by alexandra_k on September 17, 2006, at 20:36:31
Well you understand the story. That's good love Phillipa
Posted by TexasChic on September 17, 2006, at 21:01:29
In reply to Re: Guys, I'm really upset, posted by alexandra_k on September 17, 2006, at 20:36:31
Hope you're feeling better Deneb. There's always someone that's going to dislike you, at least that's been my experience. You just have to learn to live with it and move on. I hope that doesn't sound too harsh, its just what I've learned. You have to learn to trust your judgement about yourself over others. Just because they're someone other than YOU doesn't mean they must be right. There are alot of people out there that are totally full of crap. Don't forget that.
-T
Posted by Deneb on September 17, 2006, at 21:20:15
In reply to Re: Guys, I'm really upset, posted by TexasChic on September 17, 2006, at 21:01:29
Posted by sunnydays on September 17, 2006, at 21:29:37
In reply to Re: I'm not OK, I need hugs (nm), posted by Deneb on September 17, 2006, at 21:20:15
(((((Deneb))))
What do you enjoy doing? Take a few deep breaths and try to do something you enjoy - a craft project, watching TV, whatever. Not everyone in the world is going to like you, but that's no reason to kill yourself. It happens to everyone. Try to stay away from that group and do something you really enjoy instead. Stay safe.
sunnydays
Posted by TexasChic on September 17, 2006, at 21:33:21
In reply to Re: I'm not OK, I need hugs (nm), posted by Deneb on September 17, 2006, at 21:20:15
Posted by Deneb on September 17, 2006, at 21:40:03
In reply to Re: I'm not OK, I need hugs » Deneb, posted by sunnydays on September 17, 2006, at 21:29:37
I can't block myself from that site because i know the password. I'm going to make up a password I won't remember, but I need someone to keep it safe for me for the future if I need to change my settings.
I can't resist going back to that site and everytime I do I just end up wanting to kill myself.
Right now I don't know if I'm going to class tomorrow or buying a rope tomorrow.
I just want to feel cared right now. I don't really want any advice. Some of it is making me feel worse, even though I know that wasn't the intention.
Who will keep my password safe?
Deneb*
Posted by alexandra_k on September 17, 2006, at 22:15:21
In reply to Re: Help me block myself from that site *trigger*, posted by Deneb on September 17, 2006, at 21:40:03
> I'm going to make up a password I won't remember
That sounds like a really good idea.
> I need someone to keep it safe for me for the future if I need to change my settings.
Why will you need to change your settings if you aren't going to be posting there again?
> I can't resist going back to that site and everytime I do I just end up wanting to kill myself.Do you tend to go to that site when you are feeling distressed / irritable?
This too will pass and then you will feel better. You have been doing pretty well lately :-)I think that before you change your password you should post that you are okay and that you aren't going to kill yourself.
I know that you feel like people there don't care about you...
But I'm sure that while a few people from there might be feeling upset there are others who aren't feeling upset with you. They might feel upset if they think you are going to kill yourself. They might feel scared about if they don't call the cops then you might kill yourself.
If you are feeling really very bad... Can you phone your p-doc and try and get in to see her? Can you talk to her about what happened?
I figure you were probably pretty tired and I know when I feel tired I feel cranky and it doesn't take much before I end up spinning out...
But it would be worth exploring why you go over there...
At some point.
But first... I really think you should let people know that you are alive and that you don't need them to call the cops.
Posted by Deneb on September 17, 2006, at 22:35:43
In reply to Re: Help me block myself from that site *trigger* » Deneb, posted by alexandra_k on September 17, 2006, at 22:15:21
> > I need someone to keep it safe for me for the future if I need to change my settings.
>
> Why will you need to change your settings if you aren't going to be posting there again?When content advisor is enabled it oftentimes blocks sites without ratings, and most of these sites are fairly innocuous.
>
> > I can't resist going back to that site and everytime I do I just end up wanting to kill myself.
>
> Do you tend to go to that site when you are feeling distressed / irritable?I think I go back expecting people will suddenly be supportive towards me.
> This too will pass and then you will feel better. You have been doing pretty well lately :-)
Yeah, until now. Can't blame it on not talking meds this time.
>
> I think that before you change your password you should post that you are okay and that you aren't going to kill yourself.I don't think that would be a good idea. The people there would really like to see me disappear.
> I know that you feel like people there don't care about you...
>
> But I'm sure that while a few people from there might be feeling upset there are others who aren't feeling upset with you. They might feel upset if they think you are going to kill yourself. They might feel scared about if they don't call the cops then you might kill yourself.I never said outright that I was going to kill myself. I said I was "thinking" about it, which is different. The people who cared enough to tell me to call 911 did their part and I'm sure they want to see me disappear now.
>
> If you are feeling really very bad... Can you phone your p-doc and try and get in to see her? Can you talk to her about what happened?Yes, I will tell her what happened, but I'm not sure it will help me.
> But first... I really think you should let people know that you are alive and that you don't need them to call the cops.
I don't think anyone there really thinks I'm going to kill myself. It doesn't seem to me like anyone here thinks I'm capable, so why should they? Most think I'm a troll anyways. Those who do probably don't care if I die.
Deneb*
Posted by Deneb on September 17, 2006, at 23:49:18
In reply to Re: Help me block myself from that site *trigger* » alexandra_k, posted by Deneb on September 17, 2006, at 22:35:43
I'm feeling better now. I'm going to class tomorrow. I blocked myself from that site.
I'm getting sleepy now. I think melatonin is helping reset my circadian rhythm.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/melatonin/NS_patient-melatonin
Deneb*
Posted by rainbutterfly on September 18, 2006, at 9:30:24
In reply to Re: Thanks for helping me out, posted by Deneb on September 17, 2006, at 23:49:18
(((((((((( Deneb )))))))))))
These have no expiry date, so feel free to save them if you so wish,
(could use some hugs myself)
Take care,
Butterfly
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