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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Fivefires on March 27, 2007, at 13:02:22
Ya' know I spent $75 for an ambulance and my son-in-law took time off work in late Feb or early March because I was feeling soooo much anxiety and grief and called 911 to say I was having ideation. All for not. There is no preventative treatment facility for ideation.
I have P appt (first time in 40days) this afternoon and suppose this issue will surface.
I'm sooo freakin' lonely. I usually cry myself to sleep.
No ... I can't really change anything right now. I'm treading 'quicksand' and cab keep my head above water ... but I need a little support today and I think through a few more days, weeks, months.
I know about 'TRYING'; trust me I do it and I've done it and I'm not being lazy.
I'm truly sad. My fam' of origin recently 'outed' me as I guess I have no value to them. One of my children has lost her respect for me because I cannot watch two babies at once.
I'm a dreamer and a doer and a goer .... but not now. For now I just need to keep treading.
So please, I need to hear from some of my friends here. Just a lil' encouragement pls.
L, 5f
Posted by Gee on March 27, 2007, at 13:38:31
In reply to I need support pleeeezzz, posted by Fivefires on March 27, 2007, at 13:02:22
(((fivesfire)))
I hope all goes well today!!! I'll be thinking of you!!!
Posted by scratchpad on March 27, 2007, at 13:39:31
In reply to I need support pleeeezzz, posted by Fivefires on March 27, 2007, at 13:02:22
I hope your appointment goes well today and that you can talk about meds and all our other good stuff.
I know how isolation hurts! At least your doctor visit will get you out of the house.My anxiety returned with the discontinuation of mood stabilizers - I know how crippling it can be. Some days I'm able to ride the waves like I'm some sick surfer. Other times, the fear of anxiety is enough to make me weep. At least I can count on it going (and coming back, and going again).
((((Fivefires))))
scratchie
Posted by Phillipa on March 27, 2007, at 15:12:24
In reply to Re: I need support pleeeezzz, posted by scratchpad on March 27, 2007, at 13:39:31
Five Fires so now what since he cancelled. I talked to her on the phone. Love Phillipa
Posted by Fivefires on March 27, 2007, at 18:23:52
In reply to Re: I need support pleeeezzz, posted by Phillipa on March 27, 2007, at 15:12:24
Well Phillipa and all, this is how it 'all went down':
first I felt 'relief' (oh boy .. don't have to go anywhere),
then felt a twinkle of evil (I can use this against P sometime),
then felt sad and cried (boo hoo; not even my P wants me),
then felt mad (cleaned the livin' daylights out of the guest bath .. probably left scratches)
and now, feel sort of worn out & hung up wet.(?)
I think I'm 2 worn out to do anything more right now. Another doc will cover meds. They had an appt for me next week. (Like my calendar isn't full or something???)
Oh, and get this, 'I CALLED THEM!'. Yeah. I would have gone 'for naught' if I hadn't!? Pfiffel!!!
Next week's appt will be 55 days from last appt.
But then I don't complain much.(?)
It was so good to hear your voice Phillipa; I had to 'follow up' to your 'followup'. (See how good I am w/ my sentence structure. Any1 care to comment?)
Maybe I should call my therapist; rather good one. learned in DBT, and think she gets me.
I'm not ez to get. Whether u all realize it or not, I can be quite a high maintenance person. (Now we all know I'm nearing the edge!)
I see the usual suspects have responded and love them for it, butt....
I NEED MORE! KEEP 'EM COMIN'!
I know some of you are out there saying 'oh there she goes again bein' needy, asking for kudos, strokes, or something', & 'what a freakin' drama queen'. Pls share; anything will do at this point. I'll take criticism & promise not to turn you in to the authorities.(?) I just want this to be 'all about me'. (I didn't mean that. I think someone else type that last sentence.)
I'll use bad language -or- talk about sex -or- share my refreshments!(?) I bribe.
wacked, 5f
Posted by Poet on March 27, 2007, at 19:05:27
In reply to I need support pleeeezzz, posted by Fivefires on March 27, 2007, at 13:02:22
Hi 5F,
I'm having trouble supporting myself right now, so I hereby offer to let you land on me if you meltdown/falldown/push yourself down. I'm lying here on the floor, hey, you have dust bunnies under your furniture.
Poet
Posted by Phillipa on March 27, 2007, at 19:24:02
In reply to Re: I need support pleeeezzz » Fivefires, posted by Poet on March 27, 2007, at 19:05:27
Me too it's meltdown time. Mind if I join the sandwich? Love Phillipa
Posted by kninelover on March 27, 2007, at 20:10:28
In reply to Re: I need support pleeeezzz, posted by Fivefires on March 27, 2007, at 18:23:52
not only are you treading water beautifully, but you are using some wonderful coping skills..
i am proud of you.
†
Posted by Poet on March 27, 2007, at 20:59:15
In reply to Re: I need support pleeeezzz » Poet, posted by Phillipa on March 27, 2007, at 19:24:02
Hi Phillipa,
Melt away, I'm not going anywhere.
Poet
Posted by Fivefires on March 27, 2007, at 21:09:39
In reply to Re: I need support pleeeezzz » Fivefires, posted by kninelover on March 27, 2007, at 20:10:28
OKAY! THIS IS WHAT I LIKE TO SEE! :)
First, I was going to ask Poet if I could 'injure him' just a tiny little bit while he is holding me up; ya' know, just 'cuz, I kinda' need to hurt someone a little!
Butt, then when Phillipa asked to join the sandwich, I envisioned, well, a PFP sandwich on Poet's floor, and then I thought maybe we could all pile on and make the tallest 'Poet and Phillipa club sandwich' in the world!
Since Poet started it, he has to stay on the bottom, and I'll stay where I am (I enjoy a good smashing!), but good Phillipa gets to move to the top, you know, like the top piece of bread!
Is there a record for how many people lied down on each other w/o plummeting to their deaths?
And wow, then knivelove; u put that symbol there; & it was like 'a sign or something' dudes!(?)
(Can I have it? I ask people for their shirts if I like them.)
I'm gonna' go look in my book of signs and symbols and find it! (Yeah, I know. I have a cool book; a couple really.)
How far away from me are u Poet? I'm not much heavier than a dust bunny, so guess I'll just float over there; Wheeeeeee! Okay!!! This is nice!!!
(Visualization, Imagination)
I'm flopping around a little. I smash Poet's nose and he says, 'Ouch! Will u do that again please?!'
And Phillipa, Poet's got my back, not my front!
U all R great! I'm a lucky peep; a smashed pink easter marshmallow person.
5f
Posted by Phillipa on March 27, 2007, at 21:19:50
In reply to Re: I need support pleeeezzz, posted by Fivefires on March 27, 2007, at 21:09:39
No you may not have my shirt unless a boob job is included in this sandwich. Love Phillipa Poet want one too? And will anyone be on top of me. I'm the one who likes Simon Cowell can it be him????
Posted by Deneb on March 28, 2007, at 9:19:44
In reply to I need support pleeeezzz, posted by Fivefires on March 27, 2007, at 13:02:22
((((((((((((((Fivefires))))))))))))))))))
I hope your T appointment went well. I'm glad you told us you need support.
Deneb*
Posted by Kath on March 28, 2007, at 21:06:06
In reply to I need support pleeeezzz, posted by Fivefires on March 27, 2007, at 13:02:22
Only read your first post in this thread.
You have my support & loving thoughts.
((((((((((((((((((you))))))))))))))))))))))))))
luv, Kath
Posted by Poet on March 28, 2007, at 23:02:39
In reply to Re: I need support pleeeezzz, posted by Fivefires on March 27, 2007, at 21:09:39
Hi 5F,
You have my permission to injure me just a little bit, I bash myself esteem all the time, I can take some physical bashing. Though I'm female, so I can hit you back without guilt, though I'm a wimp except with words.
Poet
Posted by Fivefires on March 29, 2007, at 8:04:39
In reply to Re: I need support pleeeezzz » Fivefires, posted by Poet on March 28, 2007, at 23:02:39
I thought you were a 'piece of mail' .. whoops .. who said that ? hmmmm.
S ssss ssssssssooor..sooor..sooor..ssooo :(
I can't! I can't say 'the word'.
I'm happy u aren't 1 of them; aren't u Poet? Yeah, I'm thinkin' it would be a 'drag'.(?)
IMO, 'males' are a bit wimpier when it comes to building a human sandwich.
(Any1 wanna challenge me w/ a story? I've got a good one!)
It takes fortitude w/ an 'f' as in FFFfffemale!!
Yeah Poet, u sound a bit like me, talk big, think wimp, butt, I'll bet your method of defense or offense comes thru w/ a rush when needed. Like when I poked you in the nose & then you hurt me a little bit and stuff.
Yeah. Poet knows. I have 'horns'.
What's your method of protection ? , i.e., claws, teeth, killin' 'em w/ kindness, dumping water on peeps until they disappear; just a few I've come across in my day.
I've been thinking over the boob-job thing Phillipa, and I think your statement should be entered into record for a jury of our peers, and there should be some compenboobsation.(?)
I'm sick of hearing "Anything over a handful is a waste!"; Yeah right! Shine me on some more!
Every1 is gettin' 'em these days, aren't they? Tall, dark, & handsome males come sit by you.(?)
Hey, and u not wanting to give me your shirt; I don't want your shirt.
No, no, no. See, the truth is, I only ask 'males' for their shirts. Yeah. They think I'll put them on in front of them! Ha! Suckers! Yep; I've got quite a collection!
Is someone gender bashing? (Silence, Awareness of Surroundings, Using Right Side of Brain)
Okay .. I'm g... gggggg... Oh no, not one of those words, I can't, I can't say it!!!
I could be 'short a few baby-poop colored marbles' this a.m.
Had a salty dog last eve @ the local Dysfu*ktion Junktion watering hole. Ya' know, the peeps there were pretty nice. It might be .. could it be ? .. I'm not nice?!
Wow! I think it's an 'ififany'? I can hardly grasp the depth of it. And all of u must be just shocked and shivering @ the very thought. Wow.
Now, back to the sandwich. I'm happy where I am. Poet and I seem to have agreed on a certain amount of permitable infliction of pain! Butt, if Phillipa wants my place, I'll trade. RU afffrrr .. affrrrra .. affrraaaaaaaaaaid .. whoa, of heights P?
How are the rest of you up there? I know. This is fun huh???
Anyway, GOOD MORNING fellow sandwichees~!
We can get out of sandwich form and go make our coffee or do whatever we need to do to wake ourselves up.
Butt, can we do some more 'sandwiching' if, well if I need some more support. It probably won't be too soon, ya' know um' .. I'm usually pretty cool for oohhhh ... 'a couple hours or so'.(?)
FrangelicaIsCalling, 5f
ps:
There is a kind of important 'event' comin' up here pretty soon. I've dropped a few clues.
I actually have a gift registry. Butt then u'd know who I really am?! Butt, where there's a Will, there's a Waylon.(?)
Oh, and hey, those registries are hard to fill out! It's like, by the time I was finishing it, I was gettin' tired u know, so I said to the peeps who I invited to buy me things, "You're the ones doin' the freakin' shoppin'! Make up your own minds! I'm outta here!"
Yeah, I left, went and had a smoke! Geez.
Posted by Phillipa on March 29, 2007, at 17:40:05
In reply to Re: I need support pleeeezzz, posted by Fivefires on March 29, 2007, at 8:04:39
Five Fires what did they put in your hot dog and you don't get up that early do you? Love Phillipa
Posted by Fivefires on March 29, 2007, at 20:37:53
In reply to Re: I need support pleeeezzz » Fivefires, posted by Phillipa on March 29, 2007, at 17:40:05
I stopped and had a 'salty dog' (the drink w/ grapefruit juice and vodka w/ salt around rim) after doing errands yesterday; just one, and left.
Got home and fell asleep b4 taking my sleep med, so awakened around 4:30a (when wrote the crazy post) w/ my neck all messed up, and it's still mad at me (my neck).
That's what I get for 'trying to have a life', and, I'm out about 40bucks!
stayinhome, 5f
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