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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by tina on February 3, 2008, at 10:48:33
Ok, picture yourself in a relationship. You've told one another that you love eachother. At a family member's wedding, your SO sings a song to you on the dance floor (the first time you dance together) and it is a very memorable and romantic moment. Every time that song comes on the radio you look at eachother knowing that it's YOUR song.
Now, for one reason or another the relationship goes sour a few months later. Your SO goes on to meet someone else not three months later and proceeds to recite to her YOUR song in a bid to woo her. How pissed would you be?
I think I'm well within my rights to be upset, hurt and angry. Don't you think?
Are all men like this? Is nothing sacred or meaningful to them? I'd like some input from the guys here. Do you think this is appalling?
Posted by MissK on February 3, 2008, at 12:27:01
In reply to What do you all think of this??, posted by tina on February 3, 2008, at 10:48:33
In my twenties, I would have been pissed. In my late thirties now, I would probably laugh. Try to think about it as probaby there are a hundred + other couples out there that probably have the same song as their song. When it comes down to it, it's not a song that makes a relationship. Hope you feel better soon.
Posted by tina on February 3, 2008, at 13:43:08
In reply to Re: What do you all think of this?? » tina, posted by MissK on February 3, 2008, at 12:27:01
Thanks for the point of view. Eventhough I'm 38 years old, I'm still hurt and it still pisses me off.
Posted by Dinah on February 3, 2008, at 14:00:46
In reply to Re: What do you all think of this?? » MissK, posted by tina on February 3, 2008, at 13:43:08
I'd definitely feel hurt. And furious, though my fury would likely spring from my hurt.
And all men are definitely not like that.
My husband isn't the sort to sing "our" song to me. I'm not even sure we have a song. "Reunited" was playing a lot when we first courted, and I consider it our song, but he doesn't really. I guess the closest we have to our song is "You're Almost Everything I Ever Wanted" which is obviously tongue in cheek.
I think it's in my nature to distrust romanticism. So I think it would be my nature to not be surprised. But I would definitely feel hurt and angry. It's too painful to entrust your heart to another and have them treat it lightly. There are lots of songs out there. It would have been respectful to what you had to choose a different one, IMO.
Posted by tina on February 3, 2008, at 15:47:40
In reply to Re: What do you all think of this?? » tina, posted by Dinah on February 3, 2008, at 14:00:46
thanks Dinah. I'm trying to let it go but I'm not very good at letting anything go. I've read countless books on letting go but my mind is always active and all my past "reminiscences" always come back up, again and again.
Got a cure for that?? ;)
Posted by Dinah on February 3, 2008, at 16:24:01
In reply to Re: What do you all think of this?? » Dinah, posted by tina on February 3, 2008, at 15:47:40
No cure.
It's my experience that trying not to think about something just makes the thoughts more insistent.
And that acknowledging painful thoughts, and the pain behind them is more helpful. Noting them, maybe even honoring them.
At least for me.
How long has it been?
Posted by Phillipa on February 3, 2008, at 21:00:41
In reply to Re: What do you all think of this?? » tina, posted by Dinah on February 3, 2008, at 16:24:01
How did this other person know it was your song from a previous relationship? Phillipa
Posted by tina on February 6, 2008, at 12:42:59
In reply to Re: What do you all think of this?? » tina, posted by Dinah on February 3, 2008, at 16:24:01
only a couple of months. I'm slowly letting it go. Letting go is not an easy thing for me.
This is the end of the thread.
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