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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by PhoenixGirl on October 4, 2004, at 17:14:27
All I know is that I've been very lonely since I was 12 years old, and I'm now 26. I almost don't know any other kind of existence. To help give me some perspective, can you guys tell me what effect loneliness has on you? Contrast how you feel when you're lonely to how you feel when you're not lonely.
Posted by partlycloudy on October 4, 2004, at 19:01:05
In reply to What are the effects of loneliness?, posted by PhoenixGirl on October 4, 2004, at 17:14:27
> All I know is that I've been very lonely since I was 12 years old, and I'm now 26. I almost don't know any other kind of existence. To help give me some perspective, can you guys tell me what effect loneliness has on you? Contrast how you feel when you're lonely to how you feel when you're not lonely.
>I am usually lonely and have been since about the same age as you (12 years). I think it makes me feel a great deal of self pity, lowers my sense of self worth, and lets me spend too much mind focusing on what I consider to be my faults.
On the positive side, feeling lonely can provoke my imagination as I imagine what I what do if i wasn't lonely: have coffee with friends, hang out and watch TV, window shop.When I'm not lonely is when I'm with my husband. He is supportive and accepting and puts up with a lot of flack from me. I can easily stand in a room full of people I know (i.e. from work or the book club I'm in) and feel utterly alone.
It's all in my head.
Posted by saw on October 5, 2004, at 0:33:16
In reply to What are the effects of loneliness?, posted by PhoenixGirl on October 4, 2004, at 17:14:27
I too, have suffered with loneliness from an early age. I was never "one of the crowd" and found it hard to make friends. I would withdraw into little fantasy lands of friendship. In later years, my loneliness "made" me seek a lot of negative attention. I still don't make friends easily, though I have many friends. (All being my husband's). If he were to leave me, I would be utterly and completely alone.
I have such a barrier around me, that people sometimes find me unaproachable and aloof. I don't know if that is because I'm afraid of being hurt or as a result of knowing my friends never stick around anyway.
I have enjoyed this board immensely. It has been easier to communicate openly and honestly to my cyberspace friends who do not judge.
Sabrina
Posted by octopusprime on October 5, 2004, at 21:30:21
In reply to What are the effects of loneliness?, posted by PhoenixGirl on October 4, 2004, at 17:14:27
when i am lonely:
i feel like i'm invisible
i feel like nobody cares about me
i feel like nothing i say or do is important
i feel like i could die
i feel hopeless
i feel like an alien from another planet
i feel like everybody else on earth has grown a second head
i feel like crying and screaming for help
i feel like time passes super slowly
everyday events and interactions with people are magnified
i lose perspective on my life
i latch on to any human interaction and squeeze the life out of it
i get cabin fever
i don't want to do anything
i desperately know that something is wrong
and i don't know how to fix it
nothing is ever good enough
i worry a lot about stepping on toes
i feel like a ghost
i get trapped inside my own headwhen i'm not lonely:
if something goes wrong with one person, i hang out with somebody else and that is ok
i feel like i matter
i feel like the things i say and do are important
time passes normally or quickly
i can always think of something to do
activities are pleasant again, even the ones i do by myself
i cherish the time i spend alone to regenerate
i feel like i can disagree with people
i feel like it's ok to have problems and that they'll all work out
i smile a lot more
i can express myself better
i don't worry about people passing judgement on methis was a good exercise.
Posted by PhoenixGirl on October 5, 2004, at 22:32:25
In reply to Re: What are the effects of loneliness?, posted by octopusprime on October 5, 2004, at 21:30:21
Thank you guys *so* much. These responses really bring it all home to me. I feel less alone, actually.
octopusprime, you really hit the nail on the head. The way you described the experience of loneliness was very succinct. I really relate to what you said. It makes me realize that the way I feel when I'm lonely is a normal, human reaction to isolation.
Posted by skyborn on February 16, 2008, at 17:38:41
In reply to This is very helpful!, posted by PhoenixGirl on October 5, 2004, at 22:32:25
I am 59 years old. My kids are grown and gone and I lost my wife in an accident 8 years ago. I am forgetting so much stuff, but they said it's not AD. Does any lonly person out there feel that it's affecting thier mind or health? I just want to know.
thanks
Posted by Kath on February 16, 2008, at 18:01:46
In reply to Re: What are the effects of loneliness?, posted by octopusprime on October 5, 2004, at 21:30:21
What a great post - thanks Kath
> when i am lonely:
>
> i feel like i'm invisible
> i feel like nobody cares about me
> i feel like nothing i say or do is important
> i feel like i could die
> i feel hopeless
> i feel like an alien from another planet
> i feel like everybody else on earth has grown a second head
> i feel like crying and screaming for help
> i feel like time passes super slowly
> everyday events and interactions with people are magnified
> i lose perspective on my life
> i latch on to any human interaction and squeeze the life out of it
> i get cabin fever
> i don't want to do anything
> i desperately know that something is wrong
> and i don't know how to fix it
> nothing is ever good enough
> i worry a lot about stepping on toes
> i feel like a ghost
> i get trapped inside my own head
>
> when i'm not lonely:
>
> if something goes wrong with one person, i hang out with somebody else and that is ok
> i feel like i matter
> i feel like the things i say and do are important
> time passes normally or quickly
> i can always think of something to do
> activities are pleasant again, even the ones i do by myself
> i cherish the time i spend alone to regenerate
> i feel like i can disagree with people
> i feel like it's ok to have problems and that they'll all work out
> i smile a lot more
> i can express myself better
> i don't worry about people passing judgement on me
>
> this was a good exercise.
Posted by Kath on February 16, 2008, at 18:08:04
In reply to health effects of lonliness » PhoenixGirl, posted by skyborn on February 16, 2008, at 17:38:41
> I am 59 years old. My kids are grown and gone and I lost my wife in an accident 8 years ago. I am forgetting so much stuff, but they said it's not AD. Does any lonly person out there feel that it's affecting thier mind or health? I just want to know.
> thanks*****I am living with my wonderful husband & have friends, so I'm not lonely in what might be considered the 'understood' meaning of the word.
But sometimes I DO feel lonely during the day.
I want to comment on them saying it's not your AD (I assume you mean 'anti-depressant'?) that's causing you to forget things.
I need to tell you that when I was on Celexa - an SSRI - I DEFINITELY experience memory problems. It was absolutely noticeable for me & definitely linked with Celexa. I don't think I've ever heard of anyone else experiencing that from Celexa. But I wanted to say that there's at least one person who DID experience that.
I don't know what to think about loneliness affecting our physical health. I do think it could affect our mental health (mind). I think it could cause us to feel sad & maybe hopeless. I think it could lead to depression.
Those are just my opinions. I am so sorry for your loss & for your loneliness.
Would you like any input or support around looking at possible things to try to do that might help you NOT be lonely? Like ideas of things to try in order to enrich your life?
I hope you might be open to us helping you in this way. You're not the first person here to experience loneliness as a big problem.
I send you warm thoughts. :-) Kath
Posted by skyborn on February 16, 2008, at 19:34:46
In reply to health effects of lonliness » PhoenixGirl, posted by skyborn on February 16, 2008, at 17:38:41
Kath,
Thank you for your post. By AD I meant Alzhiemers Disease. I was on Zoloft and xanex for a while while I wanted to end it all, but thank God I didn't. (Had four kids who lost thier mom) I just moved to a new town for a job. Don't know anyone and go to an empty house after work. I got a new debit card and left it in the machine at Wal-mart. Got another one and did it again! I am embarrased to go back to the bank again. I am ok, but was looking around on the web for information on lonliness affecting the mind. That's how I found this thread.
Blessings to all
Skyborn
Posted by skyborn on February 16, 2008, at 19:39:02
In reply to Re: health effects of lonliness » skyborn, posted by Kath on February 16, 2008, at 18:08:04
PS,
Yes I am open to new ideas.
Thanks!
Skyborn
Posted by Kath on February 16, 2008, at 21:28:00
In reply to Re: health effects of lonliness, posted by skyborn on February 16, 2008, at 19:39:02
Oh - sorry I thought by AD you meant anti-depressant.
As to memory problems, I think a LOT of people begin to experience that in their 50's. My husband & I certainly do. (As I said, mine began with Celexa. I was hoping that when I stopped it, my memory would return to normal, but over 2 years after stopping, it hasn't!)
My husband once left his card in the machine & once left the cash sitting there in the machine!!! Believe it or not, it was turned in to the teller, so he did get it, but BOY was he embarrassed! I hope you do go to the bank & just make light of it!! I'm sure it wouldn't be the first time it's happened!!
I've been known to be looking everywhere for at least ONE of my 2 pairs of reading glasses & have announced to my husband to please tell me if he finds them, only to find BOTH of them perched on my head!!! (I tuck them up onto the top of my head when not using them sometimes.)
I am so sorry you go home to an empty house. How long have you been in your new town?
I've put a new 'subject line' to this post in hopes of attracting suggestions for you.
I will have suggestions for you myself, but it's almost 10:30 pm now & I'm pretty tired, so I'll wait until tomorrow to post again.
It indicates that you're new here, so welcome.
bye for now, Kath
PS - I also have to take particular notice when shopping at a mall, as to which door I came into the mall at. Otherwise I'd have no idea where I'd parked. I also try to take note of the location in the parking lot. Otherwise I might end up walking up & down rows. Stress can have a huge negative impact on our memory.
Posted by Kath on February 17, 2008, at 13:28:42
In reply to Re: health effects of lonliness, posted by skyborn on February 16, 2008, at 19:39:02
I started a new thread about this at the bottom of this page, in case people don't notice this one way up here.
:-) Kath
This is the end of the thread.
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