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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by obsidian on April 7, 2008, at 18:24:36
In my case I am afraid it is going to bite me in the butt.
"Showing up" is a big issue for me
I'm lazy, lazier than I used to be. I'm more concerned with my own comfort than my obligations.Friends, I need some help I think. Tell me I can stop avoiding and do what i need to do. Please tell me I can.
Thanks,
sid
Posted by Phillipa on April 7, 2008, at 21:20:50
In reply to Avoidance as a coping mechanism, posted by obsidian on April 7, 2008, at 18:24:36
Okay you can do it!!!!!! Love Phillipa babysteps.
Posted by Happyflower on April 7, 2008, at 22:49:30
In reply to Avoidance as a coping mechanism, posted by obsidian on April 7, 2008, at 18:24:36
Well Ob, you need to get up off your butt and just DO IT! Speaking from someone who is huge avoider! But do what I say, not as I do! Got it?
But sometimes your own comfort is more important (especially when it come to obnoxious relatives)
Soooooo, do you really want us to get you off your butt? Or do you want us to support your just taking care of yourself?
Posted by wishingstar on April 8, 2008, at 14:15:15
In reply to Re: Avoidance as a coping mechanism » obsidian, posted by Happyflower on April 7, 2008, at 22:49:30
I rarely post anymore, but just had to post when I saw this. Avoidance is my word of the month. Work-related, primarily. It's beginning to stretch into wanting to avoid going to work at all (although I always do go), but I avoid clients pretty regularly. I no longer do the job I did a year ago (for those who knew then), but now do a high-contact-with-others, high-stress, high-confrontation job. Avoid avoid avoid. I'm learning (to do it.. not avoid.. hah).
I dont have the answer. I can just relate. I think the only real answer there is is just forcing yourself. That's what I do. Sometimes I'll promise myself a small reward if I do a particularly icky thing, like a dessert after lunch or allowing myself to relax the rest of the day after the hard thing. That seems to help. The other key for me is to just do it, without allowing myself to think about what I'm doing. I'm aware that I dont want to for whatever reason it is, but I just keep walking, keep dialing, keep whatever and dont allow myself to think until its really too late (ie, I'm already on the way to the store, the phone is already ringing on the other end, etc). I'm not sure what it is youre avoiding, but maybe that helps.
Posted by Kath on April 10, 2008, at 19:00:59
In reply to Avoidance as a coping mechanism, posted by obsidian on April 7, 2008, at 18:24:36
Hu hunnee,
Some good replies so far sid.
From observing my son & numerous of his friends over the years, I believe what I've read - that weed causes 'amotivational' problems.
So it could be that it might take a while for you to create some new habits. In my experience, creating new, positive habits is really hard.
Maybe somebody has some comments/suggestions.
I like the 'I get a treat after doing something I really don't want to' idea!
Please let us know how it's going.
luv, Kath
Posted by 64bowtie on April 20, 2008, at 6:48:15
In reply to Creating new habits........... » obsidian, posted by Kath on April 10, 2008, at 19:00:59
In my ugly (now distant) past, I could fritter away weeks at a time... The TV and the recliner were my enemies yet felt like my best friends...
Today, I do, w/o ruminations (cow and goat analogy)... The test is the deeds expected results... I see the deed as an option to be weighed against time and timing along with other options... I keep my eye on the prize, and do...
When I don't do, something else has bigger or better results, and I do that first or instead...
Rod
This is the end of the thread.
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