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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by danny9ds on April 22, 2008, at 13:55:35
I have been in a relationship with a man for 8 months. He had just divorced his wife of 9 years and has two young kids. He and I get along famoulsy, we like all the same things we laugh and we spend everyday together. Recently I learned he was still in love with his ex, I got really upset and said some things I shouldn't have liek I can't take it and I am done with you etc. He asked for space and somehow we ended back in the relationship after 2 days and continued playing house with his kids etc. Last Saturday I got upset with him again about the boundaries he sets with his ex, she calls and walks in his home as though its hers. I again told him it was not acceptable and I couldn't take it. After that he and I spoke last night and he said he couldn't see a future with me because he is trying to learn who he is as a person. But he loves me and thinks of me as his best friend. I am devastated because I feel as though I have been the one for him, I have gotten him through his pain and brought him back to the point where he finally says he closed the door on his ex and was finally free. Why now does he then want me out of his life? Again, I want to stress that we have a great relationship and the kids and I adore each other. Can you give me some insight on this, I feel so crushed and I feel as though I failed or wasn't good enough for him.
Posted by Phillipa on April 22, 2008, at 19:56:49
In reply to divorced man with kids and committment in new rela, posted by danny9ds on April 22, 2008, at 13:55:35
I hate to post a negative response but to me maybe his relationship is not over with ex and they do have two kids? Sorry I'm sure you didn't do a thing wrong. Phillipa
Posted by Kath on April 23, 2008, at 21:21:08
In reply to divorced man with kids and committment in new rela, posted by danny9ds on April 22, 2008, at 13:55:35
You haven't failed. This is about him, now you.
Going through a divorce is a huge big deal. He'll have all kinds of emotional stuff to work through.
I hope he's in therapy & I hope you can do that for yourself also!!
I have heard in the past that it's best not to get into a relationship until 1 year after being divorced...that it takes that long to sort yourself out.
However - life steps in & often that doesn't happen. It didn't in my case.
Please don't take his confusion as a reflection about YOU. I suspect it's truly more about him having all kinds of mixed-up feelings he's trying to sort out.
I hear that this is VERY hard for you & that's understandable. I hope you seek counselling.
hugs, kath
This is the end of the thread.
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