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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on December 7, 2008, at 22:23:10
I messed up my life. Even if I want to live, I shouldn't because I'm just being selfish.
Don't worry, I won't die yet.
First I have to lose some weight, I'm not gonna be a fat corpse.
Posted by caraher on December 7, 2008, at 22:32:19
In reply to I messed up my life, posted by Deneb on December 7, 2008, at 22:23:10
For one thing, you're way too young to have messed up your life.
Go back and re-read your own post about the end of the world. Anyone who can write that has not messed up her life.
Posted by Deneb on December 7, 2008, at 23:16:49
In reply to Re: I messed up my life, posted by caraher on December 7, 2008, at 22:32:19
I'm very stressed out and feeling sad.
Posted by muffled on December 8, 2008, at 0:27:38
In reply to I messed up my life, posted by Deneb on December 7, 2008, at 22:23:10
Deneb, your really struggling. Are you taking your meds? Has p-doc ^ the dose at all?
When is your next appt?
If it gets too bad I hope you can call her.
Take special care,
M
Posted by Racer on December 8, 2008, at 9:04:13
In reply to I messed up my life, posted by Deneb on December 7, 2008, at 22:23:10
> I messed up my life. Even if I want to live, I shouldn't because I'm just being selfish.
>OK, lemme try two tactics here:
1. So, Deneb, is this maybe just a tiny bit short on shading? Could there maybe be some qualifiers you might have left out?
Let me try what I might write, with just a bit less starkness:
"Gee, I've kinda messed up in my history class -- I have resisted studying as hard as I could have, and it's left me feeling pretty uncertain about my ability to pass the class.
I really wish I was doing better, but the only thing I can do now is try to improve my performance for the little time left in this term.
Other areas of my life are not affected. Maybe I won't graduate this term, maybe I won't graduate with a perfect record -- maybe I'll even have to take this particular class again. That will totally SUCK! But it's not the end of the world."
2. Here's my much more personal point:
I'm a very good deal older than you are, and I can certainly say -- with a hell of a lot more supporting documentation than you can possibly have -- that I've "messed up my life." If you say that you -- about 60% of my age -- have messed up your life to the point that you can't fix it and shouldn't go on living, what message does that give me?
For the record -- I have a plan of action, I have goals, and I have been trying to continue slogging along, despite the difficulties, despite the uncertainties, despite all my periodic despair. Maybe it's denial -- maybe I really can't turn my life around at this point.
But you know what? At least trying gives me something to do.
So, Deneb -- can you think of a way to maybe find a more balanced presentation of these feelings? Maybe just as an exercise?
Posted by Phillipa on December 8, 2008, at 13:26:54
In reply to Um... » Deneb, posted by Racer on December 8, 2008, at 9:04:13
Deneb and I'm a lot older than Racer And slogging along also. But didn't you recently lower your resperidol? Might want to look at your meds also. Thinking of you. Phillipa
Posted by Dinah on December 8, 2008, at 13:37:05
In reply to Um... » Deneb, posted by Racer on December 8, 2008, at 9:04:13
I sure wish I'd known you when I was in school.
Though I wasn't all that great at listening.
Posted by Tabitha on December 9, 2008, at 2:06:51
In reply to Re: I messed up my life, posted by Deneb on December 7, 2008, at 23:16:49
> I'm very stressed out and feeling sad.
Hey, I like that framing much better than "I messed up my life". Maybe I should try it when I wake up in the middle of the night and think things like "my life is all wrong" :)
Posted by Deneb on December 10, 2008, at 16:58:58
In reply to I messed up my life, posted by Deneb on December 7, 2008, at 22:23:10
Thanks for the support. I appreciate it. Sorry I haven't replied.
I've been really anxious and feeling sick to my stomach a lot. I wasn't sure if it was physical or mental, but I think it's mental.
I left work early the other day because of it.
Saw pdoc today, she cancelled on me yesterday. She talked to me a bit and I feel more confident and I will try to study. I tried today, but I'm still procrastinating.
There is also a bus strike here in Ottawa and it's awful. Basically we have no means of public transportation. I can't see my tutor. I managed to get a ride today, but it's going to be hard if the strike goes on for long.
I don't know how to drive at all and even if I do I don't have a car to drive.
There aren't a lot of taxis and I heard it's hard to get through to the taxi line. It's really awful. Lots of people can't get to work, school or appointments, especially low income families, students and the elderly.
It's really tough. There was a big snowstorm too and many cars can't get out of their streets. Walking is very difficult in the snow.
I'm stressed out.
Pdoc increased Risperdal to 1mg. I hope it helps. I'm losing my mind.
Posted by Kath on December 10, 2008, at 20:49:00
In reply to Um... » Deneb, posted by Racer on December 8, 2008, at 9:04:13
You're a pretty 'wise cookie' !!
Have you ever thought (& I'm serious, since your reframing really impressed me & is so clear) of writing a book????????????
A self-help, 'workbook' type thing would be good. Something where you would give an example of the old way of thinking then the new way...then the reader could do some examples.
I am getting excited just thinking about it.
I would buy it!! I am REALLY excited about it.
I have no idea what your situation is; how much time you have, etc.
'scuse me for trying to reframe you!! :-))
But I do wish you'd write a book.
Hopefully, Kath
Posted by Tabitha on December 11, 2008, at 2:58:07
In reply to Re: Thanks for the support, posted by Deneb on December 10, 2008, at 16:58:58
My goodness, Deneb, that does sound like a lot of reasons to feel stressed. At least you're not alone with the transportation part of the stress. I mean, it affects everyone.
There was a loooong grocery store worker strike here once. All the stores were understocked and the substitute workers were young and inexperienced. I was so happy when it finally ended.
I hope your stomach feels better soon.
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