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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on December 29, 2008, at 18:22:53
Sometimes I just really do feel *cursed* when it comes to women and relationships. (or potential..)
(Okay...Jay winds up...cue rant in 4.....3.....2....1..) on the air..Well, I had started 'conversing' with a woman, call her Ms.X, about a month ago I met on an internet personals website. We knew what each other looked like from profile pics. She came on a bit strong at first, and hey, I didn't mind that! She is younger then I am. She is in her early 30's. So, we talked for a few weeks, and decided to meet on a certain day. Well, come that day, I had just come off a 14 hour shift at work, and my anxiety was right through the roof. I called her, and yes I eventually got to explaining that is was the anxiety of it all, plus deep fatigue from extra long, unexpected, work. So, she said that was 'cool', not a problem, and maybe we could meet the next week, no problem.
Well, she has pretty much stopped emailing me, despite one email telling me not to 'worry'. Usually I call her or she calls me after we email every 3 or so days. Nothing forced...we have (or had) great conversations that lasted many hours.
I wrote her back again, a week and a half ago, and just yesterday got a two line email that said "I'm busy...we'll talk later". But, I also happened to notice that she was going on the same dating website, every single day since the last day we talked (on the phone) 3 or so weeks ago! She posted many messages in the 'forum' of the website, some even longer then emails she has sent me. That is perfectly fine..I have no problem at all with that. But, when I get only a 2 sentence email over two weeks, and I called her once..once only and left a message (very civil), and she hasn't even called me back.Reason I am writing all of this? ha. Mystified again by the femina once again! Hmmphhh.
Jay
Posted by Sigismund on December 29, 2008, at 19:34:27
In reply to More Womin..err...women probs..Gals (guys?) help!, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on December 29, 2008, at 18:22:53
I certainly can't help you with any interpersonal problems.
But....
Recently I joined anxietytribe (for some reason or other) and before you could say knife some girl from Arkansas was asking me to take her out.
I was friendly and told her I was old enough to be her father, quite apart from questions of geography
She then said that I was just who she was after, someone who would treat her like a woman, but be mature enough to be her father.
I thought of trying to have a conversation with her about US politics in Arkansas, but I didn't have it in me.
Posted by Phillipa on December 30, 2008, at 0:19:20
In reply to Re: More Womin..err...women probs..Gals (guys?) help! » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by Sigismund on December 29, 2008, at 19:34:27
Sigi first laugh all day. Gonna call you Daddy Sigi. Love PJ
Posted by seldomseen on December 30, 2008, at 11:02:41
In reply to More Womin..err...women probs..Gals (guys?) help!, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on December 29, 2008, at 18:22:53
What's the difference between womin and women? I don't understand the subject line of your post.
IMO, if she is no longer interested, she should just come out and say "I don't think this is going to work out". But, unfortunately, the brush off and fade out is considered by some to be acceptable behaviour.Personally, I know I would be disappointed if a guy cancelled the first meet and greet at the last minute (I mean unless (1) he was literally on fire or mortally injured in some way, (2) Dead, or had a death in his immediate family or (3) There was a natural disaster in his immediate vicinity.). Of course, I'm very much "once bitten twice shy". To me, the start of the relationship is when everyone should be on their best behaviour - including me. For me, it's an essential time to start building trust. Maybe she is like that too. I don't know.
However, I would just come right out and say so. I don't like the "games" either.
Seldom
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on December 30, 2008, at 13:27:38
In reply to Re: More Womin..err...women probs..Gals (guys?) help! » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by seldomseen on December 30, 2008, at 11:02:41
> What's the difference between womin and women? I don't understand the subject line of your post.
>
>
> IMO, if she is no longer interested, she should just come out and say "I don't think this is going to work out". But, unfortunately, the brush off and fade out is considered by some to be acceptable behaviour.
>
> Personally, I know I would be disappointed if a guy cancelled the first meet and greet at the last minute (I mean unless (1) he was literally on fire or mortally injured in some way, (2) Dead, or had a death in his immediate family or (3) There was a natural disaster in his immediate vicinity.). Of course, I'm very much "once bitten twice shy". To me, the start of the relationship is when everyone should be on their best behaviour - including me. For me, it's an essential time to start building trust. Maybe she is like that too. I don't know.
>
> However, I would just come right out and say so. I don't like the "games" either.
>
> Seldom
>Hi Seldom,
Thanks very much for your post. About the subject line..it's just proving that us men are much more stupid then women. :) Well, it's actually just totally meaningless. Sorry.
But, about me "chickening out" when we where supposed to meet, I gave plenty of advanced notice. After I calmed myself down, I offered any day, at her own convenience. Maybe you are right though..I dunno. She emailed me today and suggested next week sometime. So, I will make sure I go through with it. I guess it is no surprise that I have "avoident personality disorder"..ha. Following through on some things, for me, is like anticipating getting major dental surgery without the anesthetic. These words from a song called 'Epiphany' by Staind explain much of it..
"I am nothing more than
A little boy inside
That cries out for attention,
Yet I always try to hide.."But, I will put on my "Bravest Face", and see what comes out of this. Despite it all, I am actually a very, very people-friendly, easy-going guy. How I got all "f*^$ed up", well I've got my story too. But I can get beyond that, as I do know meeting women requires that. We'll see what happens!
Thanks,
Jay
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on December 30, 2008, at 16:57:06
In reply to Re: More Womin..err...women probs..Gals (guys?) help! » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by Sigismund on December 29, 2008, at 19:34:27
Hey, good one Sig! You don't want to be a "Sugar Daddy"?? :P
Jay
Posted by TexasChic on December 30, 2008, at 20:53:36
In reply to Re: More Womin..err...women probs..Gals (guys?) help! » seldomseen, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on December 30, 2008, at 13:27:38
Hey Jay! At least you're trying, putting yourself out there, which is more than I can say for me!
One thing about your post I'm not clear on, if she said she would meet with you, what is it you're worried about? Or did that happen after the original post?
I'm the LAST person who should give relationship advice, but one thing I'd suggest is if you have to try TOO hard, like say after a couple of tries on your part a chic is still being stand offish, even if she gave you positive feedback before, then move on. If she's interested she'll let you know. Otherwise, you're just wasting your time on someone who's not interested when you could be spending time with someone who is. I've seen this happen over and over again with my brother. And with myself. Of course I don't mean you shouldn't take the time to get to know someone, or tell them "Well forget it then!!!", but if you're trying to get together and they keep making excuses, then I would just leave the ball in their court and move on.
Anyway, I hope that wasn't too convoluted to make sense. Since I've been off my meds because I have no insurance, I feel like I have trouble expressing myself clearly (I had to rewrite this post several times!). I'm not doing too bad, I think my anxiety is just making it hard to settle down and think. I decided to give St. John's Wort and Valerian Root a try, maybe they will hold me over until I get insurance again. Or who knows, I may decide I like them better! But there I go getting on another subject.
-T
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on December 31, 2008, at 21:39:28
In reply to Re: More Womin..err...women probs..Gals (guys?) he » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by TexasChic on December 30, 2008, at 20:53:36
Thanx Tc. Your advice is *always* helpful. :) Ya, in the bigger picture, I am not really worried about getting some relationship going. I find myself still trying to keep *myself* together enough of a challenge these days.
I also wanted to say how sorry I am for your situation, with no med insurance. If I could help you out, I honestly really would. Is there any way you can check out for some coverage under a lower income program? Is there some kind of community clinic? What meds where you on?(Sorry, I forgot...I am good at that..heh..) Maybe there is something the drug companies can offer?
Sorry, my ideas kinda suck..lol. I know, it's not fun or funny...To me, all healthcare should be a right, but me and my big ideas, eh?..heh. Well, I am with you in thoughts and spirits. Please take good care, okay? Thanks kindly for your thoughts too...
Jay :)
This is the end of the thread.
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