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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on March 13, 2009, at 1:56:28
I am going to SF for the babbleparty in May and I'm scared I'll be lonely and sad.
So far no one is rooming with me and Dr. Bob will probably only be with us for a day.
I'm spending a lot of money and don't want to be lonely and sad.
More scary though is I am seriously afraid of getting so lonely and sad that I kill myself.
I don't want to die now, but I know how quickly things can change and I am impulsive.
I don't want to die.
I have very clear images of my mind of dying in SF. I'm scared. I don't believe in psychic abilities though so I shouldn't be scared right??
:-(
I am just scared. I don't want to die. I am happy, I want to live to be 120 years old. I don't want to die on impulse because I got too lonely and sad to bear for one week.
I am seriously considering cancelling my flight because of this. I seriously do not want to die.
Posted by garnet71 on March 13, 2009, at 9:43:39
In reply to I'm scared *trigger*, posted by Deneb on March 13, 2009, at 1:56:28
Deneb,
Maybe it would help to make a (long) list of all the positive things that will result in your going to the conference?...and put it on your refrigerator or nightstand and read it every day.
I've never been to a babble conference, so maybe others can start the list for you?
1)
2)Sorry you are sad!! :((
Posted by Kath on March 13, 2009, at 9:58:46
In reply to I'm scared *trigger*, posted by Deneb on March 13, 2009, at 1:56:28
Hi Deneb,
Have you talked with you pdoc about this?
Hope so.I hope you contact others who you know are going & let them know your fears. I bet you can arrange something where even if you're not rooming with someone, you could have ways to contact people & have the arrangement that if you felt lonely or sad you could link up with someone. If people are going, I'm sure they want to meet with other Babblers.
:-)) love, Kath
PS - it's good you're talking about it.
Posted by seldomseen on March 13, 2009, at 12:59:12
In reply to I'm scared *trigger*, posted by Deneb on March 13, 2009, at 1:56:28
I travel a lot with my job, usually by myself.
I completely understand that sense of foreboding that you feel about your trip to SF. I experience that too, but I'm getting over it.
The more I travel, the more convinced I am that I can handle just about anything that comes my way on the trip - even though I'm way out of my comfort zone, everything is unfamiliar, and I feel rather vulnerable. I run through scenarios in my mind and put them into practice if and when I need to, on the trip. It's nice to have back-ups.
I hear from your statements that you are not afraid of feeling sad or lonely on the babble trip, but rather are afraid of how you might handle it if you do feel that way.
I think knowing *what* exactly you fear is the single biggest step in overcoming it and you clearly know what is bothering you.
The more experiences you get under your belt where you successfully handled bad feelings, the more confident that you will feel about facing them without something catastrophic happening. I've seen you successfully handle bad feelings over the years here at babble, and I'm confident that you can handle them in SF too.
Perhaps it might help if you start brainstorming ways in which you can handle any bad feelings that may come up on your trip. How *would* you handle them so things wouldn't spiral out of control? What contigency plans can you come up with and be ready to implement?
You can do this deneb, and most likely have a wonderful and fun trip to SF to boot.
Thank you for sharing your fear, and I hope you will let us (and your pdoc) help you master
and overcome it.Seldom.
Posted by Phillipa on March 13, 2009, at 13:02:57
In reply to Re: I'm scared *trigger* » Deneb, posted by seldomseen on March 13, 2009, at 12:59:12
Deneb agree with seldom. I've watched you go to Toronto, Washington and you had a great time and did great. I bet you do even better this time. Still on your meds? Love Phillipa
Posted by Larry Hoover on March 13, 2009, at 14:55:35
In reply to Re: I'm scared *trigger* » Deneb, posted by garnet71 on March 13, 2009, at 9:43:39
> maybe others can start the list for you?
>
> 1)
> 2)Oh, that's easy!
1. Dr. Bob
2. Dr. Bob
3. Dr. Bobetc.
Lar
Posted by Deneb on March 14, 2009, at 0:15:02
In reply to Re: I'm scared *trigger* » Deneb, posted by garnet71 on March 13, 2009, at 9:43:39
That is a good idea. It's just a trip though, not going to any conference. Only Dr. Bob is going to one.
Also I am not sad right now so no need to be sorry. :-)
Posted by Deneb on March 14, 2009, at 0:20:51
In reply to ((Deneb)), posted by Kath on March 13, 2009, at 9:58:46
I've talked to my pdoc about my fears of killing myself. She says that my risk for suicide is actually less than a normal person because I fear it. I hope she is right.
I am also just afraid of being lonely. I am spending a lot of money and I don't want to have a bad time.
Posted by Deneb on March 14, 2009, at 1:35:00
In reply to Re: I'm scared *trigger* » Deneb, posted by seldomseen on March 13, 2009, at 12:59:12
That is a good idea seldom, think of what to do in case I get lonely or sad.
Right now I think it might be good to get excited about the things I will do and see there.
I'm going to research things to do in SF.
Now it's late, I'm going to bed, but tomorrow I have time.
Posted by garnet71 on March 14, 2009, at 7:12:16
In reply to Re: I'm scared *trigger* » garnet71, posted by Deneb on March 14, 2009, at 0:15:02
Deneb,
Great idea to research the things to do in SF.
Drive across the Golden Gate bridge in a convertible with the top down and blast your favorite song!!
http://www.worldofstock.com/slides/TAC1518.jpg
Look, there's Deneb with a babble friend:
http://blstb.msn.com/i/55/4040892BD2516B607B2459B1876D4D.jpg
And a song for you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SB2tYYYlwMc
"you'll meet some gentle people there..."
You'll have fun!! :))
Posted by Kath on March 14, 2009, at 16:43:17
In reply to Re: I'm scared *trigger* » seldomseen, posted by Deneb on March 14, 2009, at 1:35:00
> That is a good idea seldom, think of what to do in case I get lonely or sad.
>
> Right now I think it might be good to get excited about the things I will do and see there.
>
> I'm going to research things to do in SF.
Sounds like a great idea Deneb. Also, do you know others who are going?Let us know what things you come up with that you are interested in doing.
luv, Kath
PS - I was in San Francisco once & it is quite unusual. It's extremely hilly & I thought it was quite pretty. I'm sure they have bus tours of the city itself, which would probably be well worth going on. Wouldn't surprise me if they had bus tours that you go on where you actually get out of the bus & see places as a group then get back on the bus & go elsewhere etc.
Posted by Deneb on March 14, 2009, at 16:58:09
In reply to Re: I'm scared *trigger* » Deneb, posted by Kath on March 14, 2009, at 16:43:17
I used to live in the SF Bay area, in Daly City.
I know how hilly it is there. On some streets there are stairs for pedestrians.
I am also kind of worried that going back will trigger bad memories or something. Nothing really bad happened in my childhood, but I was always very very anxious. I am afraid I might get panic attacks in SF again.
Ever since I moved to Ottawa, I haven't had nearly as many panic attacks. I think it is because we have more support here, family and stuff.
The tour thing is a good idea. I should research that. There are also Segway tours I am interested in.
Posted by Kath on March 14, 2009, at 17:20:52
In reply to Re: I'm scared, posted by Deneb on March 14, 2009, at 16:58:09
I didn't realize that you'd lived there Deneb. How long have you been here?
I imagine you've discussed this with your pdoc. I think being aware of certain potential triggers, etc is a good thing, as we can plan ahead on how to deal with them.
xoxo Kath
Posted by Deneb on March 14, 2009, at 19:42:36
In reply to Re: I'm scared » Deneb, posted by Kath on March 14, 2009, at 17:20:52
I lived there for a long time, left when I was 12. Maybe it was 8 or 10 years, not sure.
I remember kindergarten in Daly City.
I plan on visiting Daly City again, going to my old elementary school and checking out the place I used to live. Maybe going to the Seramonte mall. I loved that mall, they had a Sanrio store with Hello Kitty stuff and I loved going there with my Dad and sister.
Posted by Phillipa on March 14, 2009, at 20:01:17
In reply to Re: I'm scared *trigger* » Deneb, posted by Kath on March 14, 2009, at 16:43:17
Kath they do was also there once and took bus over Golden Gate Bridge To Redwood Forrest and We walked in the forrest huge trees and so tall. Also The Wharf Giradelli candies, shops, you can see Alcatrase from there too. And took A boat around it. Ride the cable cars, China town. To think I did this all alone years ago. No anxiety then???? Love Phillipa
Posted by Poet on March 15, 2009, at 13:05:38
In reply to I'm scared *trigger*, posted by Deneb on March 13, 2009, at 1:56:28
Hi Deneb,
If I didn't need huge amounts of privacy, I would room with you. Maybe I'll book the same hotel? I need to start my priceline search for hotels soon. I wish more people were coming too, though the first babblefest in Chicago for a long time it was just me and Bob. Then a bunch of people signed on, so hopefully it'll be more than just you, me and Bob. I know you really want Bob all to yourself.
Anyway, you and I can do tourist stuff together. I've never been to San Francisco, so everything is new to me.
Don't be scared, think about seeing Bob and having an adventure.
Poet
Posted by rskontos on March 15, 2009, at 19:42:02
In reply to I'm scared *trigger*, posted by Deneb on March 13, 2009, at 1:56:28
Deneb,
I think you are doing great because you are actually going and have already been to a Babblefest. It would scare the dickens out of me. I fear so much and just meeting people from here that might be dissappointed in me after meeting me, well, I don't think I could do this yet. Last year I really wanted to go but then I really didn't. Too scared.anyway, you will be fine. You have been already and had fun. You will have it again. And look Poet is going. I like Poet and you two will have some fun.
I'd go if I wasn't such a scarriedy cat.
rsk
Posted by Deneb on March 15, 2009, at 21:16:09
In reply to Re: I'm scared *trigger* » Deneb, posted by Poet on March 15, 2009, at 13:05:38
Thanks Poet.
How was it when it was just you and Dr. Bob?
I am scared to be with Dr. Bob all by myself. LOL I am quiet and very anxious. It would be weird.
The same hotel or a hotel close to me would be nice. I wonder where Dr. Bob is staying? I wish he were staying in my hotel. Then I can see him more.
Dr. Bob is really private, he would never tell us where he will be staying I think.
Yay! I'm going to see Dr. Bob again! I am getting excited about the trip again.
Tourist stuff sounds fun.
This is the end of the thread.
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