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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on October 6, 2010, at 1:13:40
My high school friends invited me to go to a baby shower, but they went/are going shopping together without me. I feel really left out.
I wish I could chat with my friends like I do in Babblechat.
This hit me hard today. I think it is actually a good sign. Previously I just didn't care about wanting real life friends at all.
I want friends I can do things with in real life.
I'm so sad.
Posted by Dinah on October 6, 2010, at 9:04:30
In reply to I wish I had friends :-(, posted by Deneb on October 6, 2010, at 1:13:40
Did you ask to go with them? Maybe not as directly as that, but indirectly let them know you think shopping sounds like fun?
Even if you're someplace surrounded by people, making and keeping friends takes a bit of conscious effort. If you aren't regularly surrounded by people it takes about as much effort as finding a date.
You've been invited to a shower. That means you have some people who consider you friends enough to be invited. Maybe you could make a point of talking to people at the shower and suggesting getting together to do something both of you enjoy?
Passively wishing for anything is rarely helpful. Only in fairy stories does Prince Charming (or the ladies at court) come knocking on the door. The responsibility for getting what you wish is, unfortunately, yours.
(Though the fantasy is very nice.)
I'm not so good at socializing myself. For a long time our "couple friends" were old friends of mine, and I took the initiative in keeping in touch and suggesting activities. But after Katrina, I seemed to stop doing that, even though I know where everyone is. My husband took over the responsibility of finding couple friends. There's a great group of people at church. But I get ridiculously self conscious around people whose opinion I care about, and I'm convinced I make a fool of myself every time I open my mouth. Which isn't really a great way to build friendships.
Posted by Deneb on October 6, 2010, at 20:39:19
In reply to Re: I wish I had friends :-( » Deneb, posted by Dinah on October 6, 2010, at 9:04:30
Thanks for the advice Dinah. I think I will suggest some things we can do together. It is harder now because my friends all have busy lives.
I feel better today. It turns out that just two of my friends were able to get together to go shopping. Everyone else is like me and just pitching in for a part of the expense. I don't feel so left out now.
Posted by 64Bowtie on October 12, 2010, at 6:17:53
In reply to Re: I wish I had friends :-( » Deneb, posted by Dinah on October 6, 2010, at 9:04:30
(((Deneb))),
You and (((Dinah))) please picture yourselves as-if looking from these other acquaintances point of view... They have the same feelings you guys do, I'm certain... What can save you from torturing and tormenting yourselves is that you have the free spirit enough to study the situation, pick yourselves up, dust yourselves off, and go at "it" again next time...
And remember, whatever ya' do, I'm cheer-leadin' for both y'alls!!!
Rod
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