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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Cass on December 27, 2010, at 0:58:58
Hi everyone,
It seems I only post here a couple times a year, and only when I'm depressed or anxious or stressed. Right now, I'm all of these. My business partner/friend isn't acting like much of a friend. I don't feel like I can trust him anymore. We lost a lot of money on a business deal when the economy crashed which was bad enough, but now he's being cut-throat with me. It's hard to lose a friend. I've been upset with him. He knows every personal thing about me, my social security number, DL number, and I hope he doesn't misuse any of that info. I'm also missing my husband a lot. I miss having someone around who loves me a lot. He died this time of year, so this time of year is especially difficult to me. I've never been fond of the holiday season anyways. They were especially painful times growing up. I feel very insecure, very angry and very alone. Don't get me wrong, I have wonderful friends, but they mostly have spouses/partners and kids. They are busier than I am. I always longed to have a supportive family. I had my husband, but now he's gone. My life really fell apart when he died. I know I've been really emotionally needy since then. Not that I was ever a pillar of strength. I recently went on an online dating site. I'm finding I don't have much motivation to message the men back. I'm not sure I'm ready for a relationship after all. Historically, throughout my life, it's taken me a long time to overcome trauma. I'm extremely sensitive, and painful experiences effect me very deeply. I don't process them quickly. Sometimes I go into shock or denial, then very slowly over time I start to deal with the pain. I'm tired. My whole life has been focused mostly on recovering from trauma. I feel I have very little to offer anyone or the world.
Posted by PartlyCloudy on December 27, 2010, at 7:46:28
In reply to My semi yearly 'hello', posted by Cass on December 27, 2010, at 0:58:58
(((Cass)))
Hello to you. I'm sorry you've gone through difficult times with your business partner. I'm watching my step daughter go through some of that with her own business partner to a lesser degree, and I think because she (and of course, you) have invested so much of your heart and soul in the business, it hurts even more. There are tears and determination to get back on track, but having lost trust, it's that much harder. Sigh.
Don't push yourself on the personal relationship front if you are finding it hard. There aren't any timetables for this. Maybe online dating isn't a good model for you?
Just want you to know I'm reading and thinking healing thoughts for you, with better days ahead.
PartlyCloudy
Posted by Dinah on December 27, 2010, at 8:41:52
In reply to My semi yearly 'hello', posted by Cass on December 27, 2010, at 0:58:58
Hi Cass. It's good to see your name again.
Money does strange things to relationships sometimes. Is there any way to extricate yourself?
I don't think there's any timetable involved in grieving. If you don't feel up to the dating websites, it's a fortunate coincidence that taking care of yourself includes getting out and about. As you give yourself to an activity you enjoy, perhaps you'll find new friends of all sorts. I'm being a hypocrite though. In the same circumstances I think I'd likely become more of a hermit than I already am.
Take extra care of yourself at this time of year. I'm not all that affected by anniversaries myself, but even for me the holidays bring back so many memories...
Dinah
Posted by Cass on December 28, 2010, at 17:54:31
In reply to Re: My semi yearly 'hello' » Cass, posted by Dinah on December 27, 2010, at 8:41:52
Thanks for your responses, PC and Dinah. I'm having a horrible time right now, but I saw my therapist today and that helped.
I'm going to try to cut ties with my business partner w/o any ill feelings. I'm sort of scared of him right now. His personality has changed a lot. He is a recovering alcoholic. I hope he's not drinking. He didn't sound drunk when I spoke to him, but that doesn't mean much.
This is the end of the thread.
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