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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Maxime on December 30, 2010, at 22:17:51
It's my birthday today, well for another 45 minutes. My mom and brother kept asking me what I wanted to do for my birhtday and I couldn't think of anything because I feel so down. My brother wanted to come over with Lebanese food because I am vegetarian. Spending Christmas day with my brother was hard enough for me. I really did not want to see him today. So we decided that we would celebrate my Birthday next week.
Do you think I am mean for not wanting to see my brother today?
I had a crap birthday.
Posted by obsidian on December 30, 2010, at 23:44:13
In reply to Birthday disaster, posted by Maxime on December 30, 2010, at 22:17:51
I think it was a rough day for you. When you don't feel well you don't feel up to socializing. There are some days that I just can't tolerate contact. You said you'd get together when you're more up to it. You should take care of yourself, especially on your birthday.
Posted by obsidian on December 31, 2010, at 0:07:42
In reply to Re: Birthday disaster » Maxime, posted by obsidian on December 30, 2010, at 23:44:13
By the way, "happy birthday"? 'cause it is a happy thing. find a day, when you r up to it, to have fun. Hopefully it will be soon.
Posted by sigismund on December 31, 2010, at 2:11:21
In reply to Birthday disaster, posted by Maxime on December 30, 2010, at 22:17:51
>Do you think I am mean for not wanting to see my brother today?
Don't be silly. Emotions in themselves are not mean, and as for your brother....well, reading what you have said.....and anyway, family members can cause each other way too much grief.
Posted by PartlyCloudy on December 31, 2010, at 8:19:06
In reply to Birthday disaster, posted by Maxime on December 30, 2010, at 22:17:51
Happy (now belated!) birthday, sweetie.
I think it's very wise to put off any festivities until you're feeling in a better frame of mind. I've always felt badly for those whose b'days were bundled into the Christmas celebrations. So much forced happiness would take its toll on anyone, and my birthday (on another yuck day, September 11) has made me melancholy well before 2001.You're doing the right thing for yourself and that is called self care. It might feel unfamiliar to you, but it's important and the appropriate thing to do.
pc
((((Maxime))))
Posted by Maxime on December 31, 2010, at 23:39:31
In reply to Re: Birthday disaster » Maxime, posted by obsidian on December 30, 2010, at 23:44:13
> I think it was a rough day for you. When you don't feel well you don't feel up to socializing. There are some days that I just can't tolerate contact. You said you'd get together when you're more up to it. You should take care of yourself, especially on your birthday.
Thank you. Even when I will be more up to it, it will be difficult. Blah. Thanks again for the advice.
Posted by Maxime on December 31, 2010, at 23:41:20
In reply to Re: Birthday disaster, posted by sigismund on December 31, 2010, at 2:11:21
> >Do you think I am mean for not wanting to see my brother today?
>
> Don't be silly. Emotions in themselves are not mean, and as for your brother....well, reading what you have said.....and anyway, family members can cause each other way too much grief.Yes, family members can indeed cause too much grief. I don't understand my brother.
Posted by Maxime on December 31, 2010, at 23:48:13
In reply to Re: Birthday disaster » Maxime, posted by PartlyCloudy on December 31, 2010, at 8:19:06
> Happy (now belated!) birthday, sweetie.
> I think it's very wise to put off any festivities until you're feeling in a better frame of mind. I've always felt badly for those whose b'days were bundled into the Christmas celebrations. So much forced happiness would take its toll on anyone, and my birthday (on another yuck day, September 11) has made me melancholy well before 2001.
>
> You're doing the right thing for yourself and that is called self care. It might feel unfamiliar to you, but it's important and the appropriate thing to do.
> pc
> ((((Maxime))))Yes, self-care is foreign to me. I had trouble with it even when I did my DBT programme. I always put others first. I felt that if we got together for my birthday that I wouldn't remain civil. That how I feel about my brother right now would interfere with everything. My mom's birthday was on 27th so we had already gotten together for that.
So I have made it through NYE the most dreaded holiday of year next to Valentines day. Finally. The season is over. We have never done anything to celebrate New Year's Day.
Again, not to sound mean, but I wish I could time for myself without my mom. I just want to have me time. But whenever I suggest it my mom gets really upset. She says she feels like a prisoner in her own home. At least for 2011 I have placed in her some activities. She refused to go to a day hospital for people with Alzheimers, so I had to be creative. I'm exhausted.
This is the end of the thread.
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