![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on May 21, 2011, at 18:26:14
My Mom has problems. I told her I was going out for a walk at 6:40 pm and she told me not to walk on the paths because some crazy guy could come and kill me. Anyways, I ignored her advice and while on this "dangerous" path I saw dozens of little children playing.
I'm almost 30 years old for goodness sake.
While walking I got angry at my Mom and I told her she was crazy after I got home at 7:10 pm. She took offense. She is just so unreasonable. How in the world does she expect me to become a functioning mature adult when she won't even let me walk in the park during daylight hours??
Posted by Dinah on May 21, 2011, at 18:38:34
In reply to My Mom doesn't want me to go walking, posted by Deneb on May 21, 2011, at 18:26:14
Well, obviously she did let you since you did walk.
She gave you advice. You chose not to take it.
Is there any reason to be angry with her? As an adult it's entirely possible to hear the craziest advice and recognize that it's really no threat to you at all.
Posted by Deneb on May 22, 2011, at 2:12:01
In reply to Re: My Mom doesn't want me to go walking » Deneb, posted by Dinah on May 21, 2011, at 18:38:34
I'm not sure why I get so angry. I think it's mostly miscommunication between me and my mother. When she tell me not to go walking, it feels controlling to me, but I guess to her it feels caring.
Posted by Dinah on May 23, 2011, at 7:30:48
In reply to Re: My Mom doesn't want me to go walking » Dinah, posted by Deneb on May 22, 2011, at 2:12:01
Is it possible that you see her as controlling because you aren't confident in your own sense of independence and adulthood? She can nag and fuss, but unless she has the power to control you or unless you give her the power to control you (which you don't seem to do), she can't really be controlling.
Your mother is frightened of things. Is she in general anxious? Or does she maybe not adventure much herself and sees the world as a dangerous place? To her, perhaps it is a scarier world? She has a more limited ability than you do to communicate with those around her. Mightn't that be scary?
And yes, she may seek to control you in some ways. Anxious people often do try to control their world. And I suppose you really don't have as much independence as you would if you lived separately. I never lived independently myself. But if you follow are respectful of them and the rules of their house, they can't really control an adult in other areas.
Can you ask her to go with you next time? To show her how not scary it is? Or take pictures?
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.