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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by philyra on January 11, 2007, at 16:52:31
i have my first class tomorrow - the first one i'm teaching in my phd program. even though i've taught before it's been awhile. still have a lot of prep to do. i've been pretty withdrawn this year, depression, anxiety, and don't feel up to performing and having authority. part of me knows it will be fine, but part of me is terrified. wish me luck.
take care,
philyraps my fears aren't very specific. i think i'm afraid i'll get anxious *in* class and my mind will go blank and the students will stare back at me, waiting for me to speak...and then nothing. yikes.
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on January 12, 2007, at 12:36:41
In reply to scared about teaching, posted by philyra on January 11, 2007, at 16:52:31
How did it go? I hope it went well.
I just wanted to add, that you have a natural advantage - I remember when I was a wee native undergraduate that the postgrad (um, I guess thats grad in the US) students were so cool, just because they were older than us and on a phd programme and well, just cooler! They had their own offices, got to call professors by their first names, and were just generally higher up the foodchain.
So just remember that they think you're cool to start with anyway......and that you will obviously know alot more than they do!!
Kind regards
Meri
Posted by philyra on January 12, 2007, at 15:01:12
In reply to Re: scared about teaching, posted by Meri-Tuuli on January 12, 2007, at 12:36:41
thanks Meri! i think it went really well. i still kind of blank out when i realize i'm supposed to follow up on their comments, you know? like, uh...oh right, *i'm* moderating discussion. that would be me. they were all really great students and enthusiastic and friendly. the class went by much more quickly than i'd feared. i think it will be a fun group. i hope i'm not as terrified next week!!
i'll try to keep in mind how cool i am ;)
i remember worshiping postgrad/grad students, too. heck, i remember worshiping seniors. they always seem so grown-up to me, even ten years later when i'm far past the age of 22 myself...
gosh, i'm hyper. gonna go do jumping jacks or something.
take care,
philyra
Posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on January 14, 2007, at 18:08:05
In reply to Re: scared about teaching, posted by philyra on January 12, 2007, at 15:01:12
I'm glad things went well. It's okay to allow silences to happen in discussion. Sometimes all I have to do to get things started up again is just to look a few students in the eye like "Are you going to let that last statement go unchallenged?" and they will pop right in.
Especially at the beginning of class, I try and get the shy/unsure ones to say something, and even if it's incomplete or wrong, to try to put their words into a more complete idea and see whether that's okay with them: "So X is saying that [insert fancy theoretical term] has a real impact on [insert fancy theoretical term]. X, did I understand you right? (give X a chance to stammer, defend him/herself) Oh, I see! X is saying the complete opposite. Sorry X, I should listen more carefully. Okay, can you guys think of how [insert fancy person] might respond to X's statement?"
anyhoo...
best of luck. I miss teaching the little buggers. no teaching for me. My knowledge is slowly decaying...
homework!
-Ll
Posted by Gee on January 15, 2007, at 11:27:05
In reply to Re: scared about teaching » philyra, posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on January 14, 2007, at 18:08:05
okay, well as a student, we must be horrible to teach! I'm sorry for all of us.
I have this one prof for two classes, and she's a great prof, we're not so great at the whole class participation thing. And I know it's not her, it's the class, because well I go to a smaller uni, and in a very small program, so I've had most of these ppl in my classes before. She'll ask a question and everyone will just sit there making no noise... at all. She keeps asking the same question over and in different ways (because it's all in french and it's possible we just didn't understand her) until someone responds. Just so you know, it's not you. You could always try the random questioning where you just ask someone. Or one prof randomly gave out prizes if we answered his questions. That was a fun class...
Good luck!
Posted by philyra on January 17, 2007, at 18:42:16
In reply to Re: scared about teaching, posted by Gee on January 15, 2007, at 11:27:05
thanks for the encouragement, everyone. as the next class approaches i'm getting panicky all over again. i've been doing CBT lately, so i know what i'm struggling with is beliefs that i don't know anything, i don't know what i'm talking about, i'm not a good teacher....i feel like my biggest problem right now is that my anxiety is actually getting in the way of me *preparing* for class. i'm procrastinating like crazy.
i think i also just need to say 'out loud' that i don't want to be teaching right now. there's really no way to get out of it, and part of me knows it will be fine, but right now i really, really don't want to be in front of a classroom. it feels totally and utterly wrong.
then again, i felt pretty good last week...so i don't know what is going on. sheesh, i'm kind of all over the place. must be hitting my sleep-deprivation stride with the new semester. coffee anyone?
take care,
philyra
Posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on January 17, 2007, at 20:09:04
In reply to still scared about teaching, posted by philyra on January 17, 2007, at 18:42:16
((((Philrya))))
those are some hugs you can take with you to class tomorrow :)
Here are some things that you can repeat to yourself if you find that you have illogical or maladaptive thoughts:
1) you do NOT have to be a world-renowned expert to be an effective instructor. You need to know something, and you need to be curious to know more. that's all
2) You cannot give the best lecture of your life every week.
3) Every class you teach, every week you teach is one LESS week you need to worry about
4) Focus on the student's progress- do they seem interested and engaged? Are they turning in quality assignments? If a few students seem to be "getting it" then you are doing your job. If even half of the students seem to be "getting it" then you are doing your job well.
5) Why do you want to teach this class?
6) Be honest- what would you *really* be doing with your time if you weren't preparing for class? (me: I'd probably be sleeping more, watching more TV, going out more, reading less, writing less, thinking less)
7) Can you agree to give yourself a break those weeks when you're not super-comfortable with the material? It's okay to say to the class- "This week I'm lecturing on _____ . I admit that it is not the topic that comes most naturally to me, but I think that it's so important that I'm going to try really hard to teach it anyways. I hope I do it justice, but please let me know if you have any questions. I certainly don't want to confuse anybody"
8) The class will only go on for ___ more weeks. No matter what, you will get paid, and no matter what, you can still put this on your resume/ CV.
9) Repeat after me: There is no one else in the world who can give this lecture better than I can at this moment in time. This is MY powerpoint, dammit, and these are MY words and MY ideas.
10) Remember that often the best teachers are those who have had to struggle with the material themselves. Pedagogues who have been able to breeze through life often have a hard time appreciating what are difficult topics and what are easier topics. Nothing is more frustrating than a lecture from a genius that you cannot comprehend.
((((more hugs for you))))I carry a lucky charm in my pocket on lecture days. usually a coin, or a chunk of beach glass.
-Ll
Posted by philyra on January 17, 2007, at 21:22:51
In reply to Re: still scared about teaching » philyra, posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on January 17, 2007, at 20:09:04
Llurpsie_Noodle - I'm going to print this out and carry it with me to class! You are a godsend!!
truly, this is super helpful. thank you so much.
what's scariest for me is this 'blanking out' effect - i experienced it last semester when i was meeting with students a lot. it's as if my mind goes blank, i forget the material, it's almost like i lose my *own* critical thinking skills. my mind comes to a stuttering halt. totally tied to the anxiety of graduate school. gotta work on that in therapy. at the moment this is happening even at the stage of putting together lesson plans. i'm trying to find a way of pushing through so i can just get the darn work done- i think these suggestions will help too.
yours,
philyra
Posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on January 17, 2007, at 21:41:28
In reply to Re: still scared about teaching » philyra, posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on January 17, 2007, at 20:09:04
Glad I could help :)
thanks for letting me know too, that gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling :)
good luck tomorrow. you're gonna do GREAT :)
-Ll
Posted by philyra on January 19, 2007, at 22:09:25
In reply to Re: still scared about teaching, posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on January 17, 2007, at 21:41:28
class went well again this week. my students are so great. they all talk a lot and are enthusiastic about the material. i feel so lucky! some of my colleagues have more difficult kids in their classes.
thanks again for all the support. i'm trying not to be such a nelly but it's hard to teach when you've got such bad self-esteem! a good thing to learn when thinking about my own deified professors.
anxiety is so devlish. as long as i don't think about it, i tend to be *fine*. i'm just starting to learn about social anxiety and how it operates. working on that focusing on the other person's face thing. it came in handy today...i was in the middle of a little lecture, and started to imagine what my students saw, how they might be criticizing my hair or my earrings or my shirt or how i was talking, you get the idea...then forced myself to focus on them instead.
sorry if this all sounds sort of obvious. the last time i taught i was in a much stronger place - i feel like i'm learning how all over again, a baby teacher these days.
take care,
philyra
Posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on January 20, 2007, at 0:09:31
In reply to teaching...maybe not so scary, posted by philyra on January 19, 2007, at 22:09:25
Yeah!
you GO!you're gonna do great. your kids are gonna help you get your teaching mojo back, and you'll feel stronger by the end o January.
Keep up the good work :)
(and let us know if you need any more pep talks)
-Ll
Posted by gardenergirl on January 20, 2007, at 7:51:35
In reply to teaching...maybe not so scary, posted by philyra on January 19, 2007, at 22:09:25
I'm glad it went well. Teaching is almost like performing, but with different responsibility.
Maybe my way of "setting the bar" will help you. My first day teaching in my grad program was er, interesting. One of the students vomited while we were outside doing a naturalistic observation exercise.
So, any class when no one pukes is a good class in my book. :^D
Feel free to adopt that standard for yourself.
namaste
gg
Posted by philyra on January 23, 2007, at 17:51:58
In reply to Re: teaching...maybe not so scary » philyra, posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on January 20, 2007, at 0:09:31
This is the end of the thread.
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