Posted by lea on August 4, 2000, at 11:38:41
I am the one who posted the thread a couple of weeks ago about Addiction and ADD. I have been a chronic MJ smoker for about 15 yrs. I realize now that I did this to calm myself because I have a severe case of ADD.
I was completely honest with my Pdoc as you all advised me to do, and she agreed to start me on dexidrine as long as I quit smoking. I am now subject to random drug tests in order to be treated for my ADD.I am now on 10 mg of dexadrine 3 times a day. I have been at this dose for 4 days. Yesterday I felt a huge amount of anxiety and irratibility. I understand that I shouldnt be experiencing a "speedy" type of buzz from this treatment, however yesterday I did. It has caused me much concern. Is this normal when just starting out? Will this level off. I also think it is related to my lack of appetite and not eating much.
I think I will have to drink ensure or something.One other question, As an addict, we are taught in 12 step programs that no substance should make us feel better. I am struggling with whether I am getting a buzz off the medicine, I feel so much better. I am able to focus and actually feel motivated to do the things I have been withdrawn from all these years.
I am having a problem with feeling good!!!! I feel guilty like I am not supposed to feel this way. How do I differentiate between effectively being treated and the feeling of using a drug to feel better? To me simply feeling better feels like a buzz. Am I supposed to feel this way?I also take 40mg of paxil and 100 of trazadone of which I had been taking prior to my discover that I am the posted child for adult ADD!!
I do miss the MJ and have smoked a couple of times since the meds started. I realize now that it is very bad for me to smoke since it seems to make the ADD symptoms much worse.
I am sooo happy I found this site and thanks to all of you wonderful people for your great help.
poster:lea
thread:42157
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000729/msgs/42157.html